My final decision

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Some people reading this thread don't understand the importance of a sense of personal power in a situation like this.

To really live a life up to it's capacity it seems like certain things need to be held in heir right order of saliency.

For example the first priority is 'I'm here having a conscious experience of myself and the universe, how do I maximize the quality of that experience as opposed to it being crap?'.

Really a significant distance after that should be "I have a brain and a body, how do brains and bodies get here and what should I be doing with that?'.

What I really don't like is that our culture has a lot of status hooks, as well as who it's fair game to mug, that's set up on status and status is set up on things like income, and all of that is built on pursuit of making babies with the highest gene-stock partner you can.

Even if there was a lot of garbage present in the western esotericism I studied in the past there was a lot that was still right, for example keeping the order of salience I mentioned above as well as another key piece - that the quality of your life is most strongly correlated to the kind of relationship you have with yourself and that you want to have as many ways of keeping yourself feeling loved (even if just by you) and looked after as possible. Most people collapse without a high quality relationship with themselves and they do so just as fast even if they have kids (and you can add to that just how common it is for people to have kids, get divorced, and either be single parents or stepdads or single men again). It's a f---ing cold world all the way around and it's our hormones that would tell us heaven, happily ever after, and credit roll comes with getting laid. That last part, obviously, is an outright lie.

Personal power=not letting society’s judgments affect how you judge yourself.

Another thing worth mentioning:

An orgasm by yourself vs. an orgasm with someone else.

Major differences?

Single order of magnitude and about the same give or take as far as expanding outward past a few minutes into the weeks and months afterward.

Life goes on, stuff breaks and wears out, bills have to get paid, 60+ hour work weeks, sometimes with multiple jobs and much of it gig work, needs to be maintained. No rapture, no floating off into the sky. It's the same difference as taking an ecstasy pill, raving all night in what feels like a mystical state, and coming back down to life exactly as you found it before. Really for anyone whose dealing with incel/vocel issues, for quality of internal experience I'd think a good molly probably equals or surpasses a shag, it's just that it doesn't confer status.

I really think the pursuit of sex as a solution to existence is almost like other formats of the Gnostic escape pattern. Whether it's believing that a perfect painting in the Renaissance would bring heaven to earth, whether believing the perfect piece of music would sow the tears in human common sense and decency back together or bring the angels down to sing with you, it seems like no matter what it is that's made, no matter what happens, the world goes on, largely forgets about it (might put it in a museum a few hundred years later).

This is the sort of thing John Gray gets on secular humanists and the 'myth of progress' for in calling it/them a 'Christian heresy', it's effectively a supernatural take on life that simply refuses to believe that it's supernatural.

The thing that makes me worry about escapism, the more we engage in it the more we can pretend that we're superior to other people, the longer we can play really vicious zero-sum games with each other (all the while pretending it's justified because after all I'm me, they're not me, and my desire to escape proves that I'm better) like not letting people on the spectrum hold jobs they could do simply because they're vulnerable to predation, or setting up spikes on concrete or heating grates to keep the homeless off of them.

There's a lot that needs to change and a big part of it is us figuring out how to embrace life on it's own terms. Yes, we'll still have to be stalwart and capable of handling bullies when we find them but at the same time the idea that life has to be a constant cut-throat race of all against all (this gets called the 'rat race' in economic terms), there aren't many ways it can really get worse than it is right now without it becoming the kind of dystopia that would prove the antinatalists right.


Sorry if I went off on a philosophic tare but, it's relevant to the topic.

I'm thinking of the various different things that keep me out of this trap. I was watching one of those band histories on Youtube that someone did on Sneaker Pimps, ended up listening to one of Kelli Ali's more recent tunes (Fear of London) and it seems men and women are both living lives saturated in grief, where the only rather haunted but potentially heavenly place they can find is in their own minds and even then - that's when they aren't grieving the closing of doors as their lives progress and they get older.

Rudyard Kipling definitely had a point….

@dorkseid

If I have maybe one piece of advice that I'd give strongly, and in this case it's actually supplement advice:

Neuroshroom by Primal Herb.

You could technically try something else with all of the same ingredients to see if it helps.

My job was absolute hell in 2018 and 2020 and this stuff actually helped get me through it. First time I had a cup of it I felt as lucid as I did when I was maybe seven or eight years old. I haven't felt quite that amount of kick since but for brain fog, or when I have mornings where I get the tingling / neuropathy around my scalp, this stuff is great. Pretty much for anyone who doesn't take psychedelics but who wants something that imparts at least some of the neurogenic, mood, and energy benefits with next to no side effects - Lion's Mane, cordyceps, etc. supplements help a lot.

The ingredients off the box as I'm reading them:

Lion's Mane (Hericium erinaceus) - Extract 30% Polysaccharides - 572mg
Cordyceps Militaris Extract 30% Polysaccharides - 320mg
Cracked Shell Reishi Spore (Ganoderma lucidum) - 256mg
Bacopa (Bacopa Monnieri) Extract - 20% bacosides - 64mg
Huperzia A Extract f/ toothed clubmoss - 64mg
Black Pepper Fruit Extract (Piper Nigrum) - 3mg


I also have Stamets 7 and I take that occasionally but I don't notice the same 'kick' that I get from the Neuroshroom although I have noticed the restorative effects and I normally like to take it before bed with melotonin.

The reason I bring that up, if life's not a fair game and most of us are told that we have to just about run until we collapse dead - anything you can do that tips things back in your favor is fair game.

At least you’re getting advice at your intellectual level, Dorkseid.

I wish I had the level of philosophical knowledge and creativity as Cookie Monster here

Sorry.. off topic , kinda but the stuff does help .

There's a US-based company called Gwella who made these fruit gels as legal approximations of psychedelic microdose marketed as Mojo. Little surprise when I read the package that they contained cordyceps and lion's mane with some other amine sugars and herbal extracts.

In my experience with supplements, and I have a lot, the medicinal mushroom coctails are the closest thing that I've found to simulate something like a microdose albeit less profoundly (very similar improvement of mental sharpness but little or no body load). I still have my 4-base tryptamines for microdose but I keep the OTC medicinal mushrooms more for heavy work days and the like.