Rants

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I wish waterboarding my husband was legal. I'd so do it!

should not come to this thread. flashback. ugh.

f*****g hell, I swear this mouse cursor has Parkinson's.

It's actually not the Parkinson's that cause the tremors, rather it's the medication to treat it. Parkinson's makes people stop moving due to basal ganglia problems (that part of the brain controls movements and a few other things, such as OCD, funnily); giving them dopamine (which is in the basal ganglia) speeds them up, but the side-effect to that is the uncontrolled movements.

Lecturing Daniel.

Thank you, my good sir, for being horribly and unnessecarily politically correct, but I'm pretty sure she was joking saying that to point out her mouse is broken.

He isn't; he's just lecturing.

Smart Daniel. I didn't know that.

I speak in a monotone, so I'm genuinely puzzled when you complain that my tone is so sarcastic. Sigh!

Just needed to vent.

I for some reason have trouble being myself. I feel as if im trapped within my own body and "act" accordingly of what people expect me to be. I want to be a free person in that i can express what i may be feeling without being subjected to societal expectations and pressures. I want to be me. But that in it self is a impossible task.

Its weird to say this that although my depression has been pretty bad, that at times it has approached suicidal thinking. I still somehow completed my degree. Which i never thought id finish. Its a accomplishment in itself but im not proud of it im more or less suprised that i survived. From a very young age i was always percieved to be a quiet and reserved child and my ability to reach out to others became heightedned by anxiety and fears. I became the "good" child one that always followed what was expected of me never questioning the authority of those i expected to be wiser.

My indecision and my lack of taking control in my life has left me at a stage of seclusion and isolation while i now have a degree i feel as if wont be able to handle the responsibilities and pressures when it comes to actually "working". Because of my lack of social connectedness and reclusive nature. I now cant connect with people because im not sure how.

As well as the degree i was also offered a graduate program. Its funny when i think about it most people would think life has handed me a gift basket in that i already have a job after graduation. But my depression has gotton to the point where im losing control. On the verge of breaking down, only to be looked down upon when you dont just do it.

Thanks for reading. Vent over.

What about when you feel a bit upset, there should be a sob thread. Well guess it will have to go in here. Veering from feeling a bit flat and then rather worried about a few things. Suppose that's the opposite of a rant really.

attempt at confidence boost so far seems to be following the path of the titanic. Glorious success first, blunder in no time.

i think you're gorgeous.

yes, but i cant have you

I think I'm going crazy and been so emotional, I've been actively trying to make my bf break up with me. We fight and then I feel like doing some drastic and damaging. I hate this. Every little thing has gotten on my nerves lately, I resent being a woman because I have so many damned emotions. I'm so angry for no reason, this is the thing, if I wasn't a woman then I wouldn't feel this way.

Periods, I hate them. They are driving me crazy, the other day I couldn't go to the christmas sales because I was getting panic attacks every time I left the house due to my f*****g period. What else? Sobbing, punching things and laughing, my mood swings are terrible. I think my birth control may be running out as well, that would explain the crazy.

I don't like the fact that new years eve is coming up, I had a mixed year - I graduated despite all odds, spent a year living with my boyfriend's place and still gained no friends. The whole 'no friends' factor is making me so very depressed. I feel like nothing works, it's like all of my art school classmates are extroverts and I'm the only introvert. I'm the one who likes books and chilling out instead spending money on s****y clubs and drinks. I'm going to study at a new uni next year, I'm hoping as hard as I can that I won't screw up my social life this time.

It's difficult to have an existence without anyone to share your sorrows and happiness with. I feel like I'm missing out on what people are doing at my age - being very sociable. I have been missing out on this for too long, way too long. This is also part of the reason why I'm feeling so crazy lately. So sick of everything, if time were a person I would kick it's little ass and tell it to move now! I'm hoping this new year will be better than this year.

oh my god. stfu, dramallama.

I kept alternating between slapping my head and bashing my head against the wall during my most recent meltdown. Now my head hurts.

it is probably my fault that she is where she is and I can't do anything without making it worse.