I think I'm going crazy and been so emotional, I've been actively trying to make my bf break up with me. We fight and then I feel like doing some drastic and damaging. I hate this. Every little thing has gotten on my nerves lately, I resent being a woman because I have so many damned emotions. I'm so angry for no reason, this is the thing, if I wasn't a woman then I wouldn't feel this way.
Periods, I hate them. They are driving me crazy, the other day I couldn't go to the christmas sales because I was getting panic attacks every time I left the house due to my f*****g period. What else? Sobbing, punching things and laughing, my mood swings are terrible. I think my birth control may be running out as well, that would explain the crazy.
I don't like the fact that new years eve is coming up, I had a mixed year - I graduated despite all odds, spent a year living with my boyfriend's place and still gained no friends. The whole 'no friends' factor is making me so very depressed. I feel like nothing works, it's like all of my art school classmates are extroverts and I'm the only introvert. I'm the one who likes books and chilling out instead spending money on s****y clubs and drinks. I'm going to study at a new uni next year, I'm hoping as hard as I can that I won't screw up my social life this time.
It's difficult to have an existence without anyone to share your sorrows and happiness with. I feel like I'm missing out on what people are doing at my age - being very sociable. I have been missing out on this for too long, way too long. This is also part of the reason why I'm feeling so crazy lately. So sick of everything, if time were a person I would kick it's little ass and tell it to move now! I'm hoping this new year will be better than this year.