Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear everyone who'se trying to shove religion down my throat,

I respect your beliefs, I really try to, but when you continue to tell me I'm going to hell I slowly stop caring about those feelings and view you all as one collective mass of hypocrites. I'm majouring in Human Evolution. I don't believe in God and I don't want you to try and convert me.

Please leave me alone.
Elana

Dear Darkword

What you're doing right now isn't enough. There's no future to what you're doing. the future has always been an afterthought. Face the facts, you have little choice but to plan now. Your options suck, but you may as well choose one before the worst one becomes your only damn choice. Anti-anxiety drugs would be a good start.

Dear anonymous
I want to kill you, you don't deserve to live. You are EXACTLY what's wrong with this world. The fact that law and order protects you is absolute horses**t. The fact that some people think you're part of some all powerful beings plan just pisses me off. f**k you a**hole, f**k you for using the only people that care about you like tools.
^I'd like to clarify that isn't related to anyone here, just so no one gets paranoid. I'm not after you, I don't even really have a temper. This guy just really pushes it.

Dear Parasites

You're finally gone. You were here for, what, a week? So, let me get this straight: You used to live here, moved to the opposite side of the country, then decided to have your vacation here? OK, that's fine. So you decided to spend it in a tent? That's fine. So you know my parents? That's fine as well, of course. What's not fine is that you're f*****g, excuse the language, parasites.

First, you decide that you want to have your tent in our garden. What the hell? There's a campsite (And I mean one of those large, commercial ones!) literally a hundred metres away from us! Then, you got permission to use our toilets! And our kitchen! Our shower! You ugly f***s, you literally invaded my home.

MY HOME! The one and only place in the word I have ever felt truly safe in, shielded from the outside world! Now, suddenly, there was a shedload of people who I didn't know walking around in my house, using our stuff. I spent a week almost completely inside my room, afraid to go out. I have trouble handling people in normal circumstances!

You f*****g parasites. I hope you die in a car crash on the way home.

/Me

Dear M

Screw you. I hated being your friend. I used to swap buses deliberately in high school to avoid you so I could get some sleep or read my book after school. You would insist on sitting beside me and expecting me to entertain you.

You're a user. You fancied my brother, so suddenly we were 'best' friends. You liked my house, you thought we were rich.. well, you never got anything from that (it's not my money) though you still have some CDs and clothes belonging to me.

You're a flake. All this s**t about being friends and guilt-tripping me into contacting you again when I got back home (a 4hour bus journey) - I just wanted to catch up with my family and relax. I did though, and I did meet up with you, and put you up in my house back home, and go out to stupid night clubs etc. All the time you were like "ooh, you must come wtih us on our next holiday...." etc...

I was the idiot there, I believed you. It was an effort for me to keep in touch (sorry, but talking to you wasn't easy. You weren't particularily interesting yourself either) but I figured it was worth it for old times sake and I didn't want to lose touch,

So then I find out you've gone abroad for your 21st with a group of friends (most whom I know too) and didn't bother to even invite me. And yet, you had no problem asking did I want to get drinks with siad friends later on and you even had the nerve to go "ooh, you must come with us on holiday next time..." without even mentionaing the glaring fact that you had just buggered off a week previously. I nearly laughed.

You're a fake too by the way. All your bragging about you and your friends being weirdos and quirky etc... you're extremely normal and bland. You may dress like your all gothy and emo etc.. but you're very very normal. Deal with it. Most of your friends are boring too. The couple that are genuinely weird are nice people. Leave them the hell alone; the girl that doesn't want to be touched or get married? Get off her case. She doesn't ened to be fixed. You take weird people and turn them into little projects, and quite frankly that's sick.

I'm well rid of you. I regret that I wasted so much time on you and that I let you stay at my place. I've felt distant to you, well, forever really, but I thought that was normal. It's actually a relief to let you go.

All the best in your life. May you get the 'middle-class, married with 2 kids and a career and friends' life that you aspire to. I don't wish you ill. I'm more annoyed at myself for trusting people.

C

Dear Mother,

I've phoned you on Sunday evening, just as I was about to dig into my supper. My second favourite Kink, Pete passed away last week, and I just found out, on Sunday as my supper finished cooking. I thought that I could get support from you. All that I got, was the same response that I git, every time..."Shelby! They're old! People don't last, forever!" That's not what I needed to hear, from you. I thought, that just for once, that you would understand, The Kinks being a life long special interest, and all. Your response just proves to me that you don't care or understand, at all and that you think that I'm a parasite that should be cured. After all, every "Illness" should be cured, so that everybody can live their lives in peace, right Mum!?!

You told me that back in September, when I told you the good news, that I've lost the obsession that I had, with the UK 70s Punk movement. I told you over the phone, that I love the 60s, again. I told you, that I got a decent hair cut. I told you, that I was listening to old songs on YouTube, again. I told you, that I've rediscovered a group that was an old favourite, until the January of 2007. I didn't tell you the name of the band. You told me, that I was going to live for today, in the present and dress the way that people dress, today.

NO!, I will not live for today, in the present. I will not dress like everybody else, my age. No, I will not try to like the present of the Pop Culture world, if I do not wish to.

Yes, I will dress like The Kinks, and yes I will wear my hair, like Mick Avory did, the summer of 64, when 'You Really Got Me' shot up to #1 on the music charts. Yes, I will flash the Kinky Boots logo, whenever I wish, wherever I go, and yes, I will glimpse down at it, for a few seconds, from time to time, throughout the days, that I'm flashing it. Yes, I will play the drums on Friday Afternoons, at Stepping Stones.

I'm at the best that I've been, since 1996. Enjoy it! One of us could die of natural causes, at any time. You're over 60, and I could lose at least 50 lbs. We're both at risk, for a heart attack. This is not a suicide statement. That's why I ask that you enjoy me, as I'm meant to be, as I last was, at the best that I was, before the Austin Powers days.

Love Shelby (Mick)

A,

I love the email you sent me. It was a very nice surprise. "Eight". I think about you and one comes to mind. But I also believe you're a four. Is the schedule alright with you? I'm planning on doing the same tomorrow as I did today. I have I great deal I need to get done. I'm certain you have things to do as well. I don't know what your plans are, but I'm not going anywhere. You are free to do whatever you want of course. I just wanted to let you know. I hope you are having a wonderful time where ever you are and with what ever you are doing. Take Care.

Love, Two

PS - I'm going to try to quit smoking cigarettes. Wish me luck!

I missed you today and it was great seeing you. Thank You for making me laugh... I just wanted you to know.

Love Always, TaupeyAna

To me,

For crying out loud, relax. You know perfectly well that there's no way you've failed everything. In fact, it is far more likely that you've achieved very good grades. Academics is a strength for you, remember?
Now stop panicking and giving yourself asthma attacks. You need to breathe to live.

- Me

Dear Laura,

I never liked you. Never. In fact, the three years I tried to be your friend were the worst three years of my life so far. You never gave anything I liked a chance, although I tried hard to study up on your interests so we could have a decent conversation. And another thing, I don't appreciate the way you would put me on the spot in front of our friends. Scratch that. They were your friends, not mine. You knew I lacked social skills and loved watching me behave like a fish out of water when you put me in a difficult situation at the center of everyone's attention. You told everyone that I had a crush on the biggest jerk in the class, which was completely untrue, by the way. I only said that because you called me gay for not liking a boy. Whether it was truth or a lie, I told you that in confidence, and the next day, everyone knew. You treated me like your minion, because you knew I had no one else. You used me for all our school projects, and never accepted me for who I was. Your friends thought I was a loser, and you told them all that you felt bad for me so you 'took me in'. I may have been almost mute, but I wasn't deaf. I didn't want to be your project. I wish your stupid friends peer pressured you into leaving me, so that I could've gone back to being alone without much fuss. If I had tried to leave you, I would look like the bad guy and you'd turn all your friends against me, so I had no choice but to be your sidekick for three agonizing years.

Now, two years after that disastrous 'friendship' has finally ended, I'm free. I have two new friends; my two first real, genuine friends, and I wouldn't trade them for the opportunity to be your friend or to be a part of your ridiculously large group of 'popular' friends. You all say that you're quirky, unique, independent and that you don't care what others think. It makes me laugh, because you all act the same, look the same, like the same things. It's so painfully obvious that you base everything you do around what others will think, and you can't even go to the bathroom by yourself. You're just another conformist, and you're pathetic. You think that your presence is the ultimate gift to anyone, and act like you've done a noble deed after you talk to a loner kid, me and my friends included. Don't patronize us. No of us like or envy you or your copious amounts of unwarranted self importance. I really, really, REALLY hate you, and I hope the way you've treated me and so many others comes back and bites you in the butt someday.

-Me

Dear Abusive Asshat,

I understand you are incapable of empathy but there is no excuse for treating people badly. You may take my mind, control my body, perhaps even posses my soul, but you do not get my heart.

- Me




Dear All that is Good,

Thank You! Thank you, thank you.

- Me

Dear RC

I'm very, very, very very, very sorry about the other day. I am such an idiot; I had no idea things would turn out that way. I adore you and you seem to understand me more than I ever thought anyone could. I overreacted and I didn't mean to make you worry, but I was just concerned that my risky action would affect you too, and that wouldn't be fair, because it had nothing to do with you. I'm sure he was just joking about you, and I don't care what he thinks of me, because I've told him the truth. Please don't leave me. I don't know what I'd do without you.

Much deeper affection than you know, RB

Dear Wrongplanet,

What's with all the douchebags these days? Seems that ever since I left my old account there's dozens popped up all over the place.

I understand people with AS have limited empathy, but does that mean that anyone who calls BS on an aspie's behaviour gets called 'judgemental'? Yeesh, hope not. Sorry, but we're all signed up members of the human race, whether you like it or not. Having Aspergers doesn't get you special exemption to deliberately act like a self-centered a**hole. The AS mainstream rep is bad enough as it is.

Noticed that I'm getting 'looked down on' by people with a mere couple of hundred posts. Kind of funny if it wasn't so pathetic. Like the validity of your comments depends on how long you've been kicking around in this little playground. Guys, we are no better than NTs; given our own little shelter from society at large, we've just formed a grotesque parody of the same cliquish-snobby mentality. Nt-Lite anyone?

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Dear Hopegrows,

Haven't seen you for a while here. Hope you're ok.

Sound, you were one of the good guys too.

Lene

Dear Myself, I'm often wonder how I've managed to fail miserable despite working as hard as I could?Well, Atleast, I'm doing something worthwhile for, I'm not getting on anyones' nerves or being a hindrance,buden,annoyance,bother,etc!! !

Dear dad,

I've learned so much in the past three weeks...I don't know what to think of you anymore.

I looked up abuse on the internet, trying to figure out why people were always trying to call CPS on you when I was in my early teens. And guess what? When you push me down and hold your hand over my mouth, it's abuse. When you tell me to "shut the f**k up" because I don't want to go to the bar with you, it's abuse. When you drink and drive with me and tell my mom that I'm lying when I tell on you, it's abuse. When you make fun of my Asperger's and my weight, it's abuse. When you refuse to buy my medication even though you can, it's abuse. Just because you never left a bruise and never molested me doesn't mean you never abused me.

Are you really the same person who read 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock' to me every night when I was a baby?

I've learned from other sources that you cheated on my mother, that you hid money from my mother, that you committed a felony and never came forward, that you might be secretly gay or bisexual. Now when I try to conjure up an idea of who you are, I literally get a headache. It's confusing to me in a way that you might not understand - you are not the person I thought you were when I was, say, seven.

You're going to have to do a lot to fix this. You probably won't agree to that. However, you should know that I am no longer proud of you, despite your cool job and your awards. You are an alcoholic, an adulterer, an abuser, a felon, and a thief, and you don't deserve you daughter's esteem.

...,
[MissPickwickian]

Dear You,

Despite what I initially said, I never respected you. I didn't outright lie; I just mistook you for someone else. Not like I thought you were a nun but really you're a streetwalker! mistook but the I thought you were the woman who lived down the street, not the gal upstairs way. I confused you with a completely different person. Really, beyond gender and a vague physical resemblance, you have nothing in common, but by the time I realized that, it was too late. What was I going to do? I couldn't very well say sorry, I take back all of my compliments, they were meant for another lady. That would be rude.

Besides, it wasn't that I disrespected you, I just didn't know anything about you. You weren't significant enough for me to pay attention to, so I never really bothered. I left my mind open, because there was a possibility that I would respect you.

But I never did, and to be honest, my apathy is slipping into disrespect. Reality is a nice enough place, so feel free to join the rest of the world in it sometime.

Sincerely,
Me

Dear OBGYN,

Why exactly did my out of whack hormone issues not raise a flag with you? I distinctly remember you calling to say that one in particular was elevated, but you said it wasn't important. I assume that was because we were still operating under the PCOS assumption at the time - I hadn't had my ultrasound yet, if I remember correctly - but when we discovered there were no cysts, and thus no PCOS, wouldn't it have been kind of important to go back to those levels? I foolishly took your word that it didn't matter, but the symptoms have only been getting worse over the years, and lo and behold, a web search informs me that the one disease that fits all of it is caused by an elevated level of the exact same hormone you said I had an elevated level of. So now I'm making another appointment with you, because you're the only one around here. Please be useful this time.

I had better not be infertile.

Still sincerely,
Me