Aspergers SUCKS.

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Joe90, it does get better, I promise you. Please hang in there. Even if you can't be friends with NTs yet, just being around them you can just watch what they do and learn from observing. Ask questions, but not too many at once. Give yourself time to digest the answers. I have been through eating disorders, self mutilation, depression, suicide attempts, you name it, because I was so lonely and felt so defective for such a long time. It did take me a long time but I had my first real committed relationship at 27. I met my husband at 33 and got married at 36. You have plenty of time--It really can happen, but you have to hang in there and not exude anger at the world. Try to hold in your "desperate" vibes, because that chases people away. Show interest, but show it in spurts, so as not to overwhelm others. It is like a muscle you have to exercise. I promise you the rewards are there. Just don't give up ok?!

Well in the UK a lot of people are very shallow. When you're young, you're expected to be into drinking, dressing-up and dancing at bars, with a pile of mates, and if you admit you don't do all those sorts of things, then people think there is something wrong with you. While the majority of youngsters do all that, (admit it, the MAJORITY do), it does kind of make you feel rather worthless. At least over here people don't criticise those who are single. So whatever age you are, you are not expected to be in a relationship. Well, that's what I experienced anyway. People only look down upon those who don't have any friends.

I did have counselling, but it wasn't really for me. The counsellors were trained more for NTs with issues like marriage, money, job, etc, not for miserable Aspies like me who just want help in bettering myself to be happier. I've got a social worker but she doesn't do a lot, and I've looked into seeing about getting counselling that are there specifically to help adults on the spectrum, but apparently there is none of that in my area.

I just seem to be caught in a trap.
Forced confidence + self-awareness = being too clingy
Selective mutism + self-awareness = being too quiet/standoffish
Taking away my self-awareness = self-destruction
Trying to be inbetween is somewhat very hard, although I try my best to do that.
I can't take away my self-awareness because self-awareness is built into me. Taking away my self-awareness would be like chopping my fingers off or cutting my ears off. But sometimes self-awareness can be the problem.

There's a ton of stuff I hate but one thing i hate is how some people see it. I hate how everyone says things like "we aspies" as in "We aspies should stick together" Last time I checked my last name is not aspie. I dont belong to a group, religion, orginization, club, clan, tribe or family that has aspie in it. That is what those people want me to think that im one of "them." People with epilepsy dont say "We epsies" or cancer patients dont say "we cancies" like they are some sort of family. Yes they have their groups but at least they know to fight it and there is nothing to celebrate or embrace or take pride in something that ruins your life. That is why they have at least some respect. Honestly when people want me to be proud I want to vomit. They are acting all aspies are nice and NT are the lowest of the low. Which isn;t true. Also people saying that aspies/autistics are like a separate "evolved" race or the new improved bodies of the future dont know what they are talking about. The worst part is they say it to try and get me to be honest but the truth hurts to other people. If I lie I feel important because I get respect for being someone else. I haven't met the real me and I dont think I want to anytime soon.

I had a grade 9 science teacher that talked about ADHD like this, the evolution may or may not be true however it takes so meny 100's or 1000's of years for the evolution to mature to a point where all the disadvantages are weeded out and only the advantages are left. Since we will likely only make it to 80 or so, we or anyone posting on WP will never know. If it is an evolution what we have got the indeveopment, work in progress verson and thats what people will get for meny years to come. Does that sound better? Thats what she would say if she were here anyway.

I think I want to die really, because I don't know what I want. I can't be bothered with a boyfriend, but I don't like being single and still a virgin. I don't like living with my family, but I don't want to move out and live on my own either.

I have signed up for CBT. I've done CBT before, but that was just reading books, and I found that hard because I can't always focus on books. So this time I have got in touch with my counselor who has helped me sign up for CBT where I can go through it with someone face-to-face. I know I'm an Aspie, but I can express my feelings and thoughts to someone, and I'll rather do this because I find it helps the most. I've even been told I am good with opening up to people about how I feel, so I think doing CBT with someone one-to-one will help me a bit more.

I am also thinking about going to the doctor to see if I can go on anti-depressants, but I'm afraid that they might not work or they might either give me side effects I could do without, or make one of my other AS symptoms worse or something. So I might just discuss with the doctor what other meds I can try. Whatever I do, meds won't work miracles, but I'm still willing to try because I can't seem to defeat all these bad thoughts on my own.

the dark guy well at least that's how I feel right now

Don't worry. I hate this disease too. I struggle to have a life I can enjoy or anything like that. I hate people saying Aspergers makes you who you are because it makes me who I don't want to be. I have to lie just to be confident and feel acceptance. I don't really like being called We Aspies either. People with epilepsy don't say we espies. people try to make it look positive but its not. They think every scientist had some sort of AS or something of the kind. Plenty of people have worse disorders and yet have come further then most of "us" ever will. Aspergers isn't anything to be proud of or brag about.

I suppose when you strip it down it does suck.

I do have the feeling that many enjoy the the whole group thing, because it give a sense of unity and acceptance among a group which is something many autistic/aspies individuals often have lacked in a long period of time in there lives. I can totally understand feeling and I find it very logical for people for to search after that

However I also feel that people might be a bit on wrong, on embracing there outside the norm (aka neurotypcial people) side of themselves to much. When you do that kinda ultimately end up you with distancing yourself with everything and everyone way more than it in realty is the case.

Besides you people have things in common with NTs, you are even the same spices aren't you ^^ So please, stop seeing them as the common enemies of aspies.

Even though I know how difficult it can be to go against that feeling, besides would you like someone to stereotype you just because you are an aspie? then you shouldn't do the same thing counter wise right


I wish that I could say this out loud instead of writing it down, because I find my way of expressing myself through writing, to be a far inferior version of myself and sometimes very confusing to understand for others

quality of life on the autism spectrum is largely to do with personal attitude and positive thinking, encouragement from others, required level of understanding from others, support-to required level,attitudes of staff/family,equipment,accomodations,medications and adaptions are also aspects that boost quality of life and help change how we think of ourselves.

am not of the belief it has anything to do with severity at all,am severely autistic and lower functioning,have lived in LD institutional and residential care for a decade and have had a very bad attitude towards self because this is the attitude have been shown throughout entire life, have even been treated like dirt by some members on here due to being LF-everything from hearing that am not of the same worth as everyone else with opinion and shoud stay away from threads, to being called a ret*d burden on society.
everytime theres a topic about cures theres always someone suggesting forcing us to have cures but allowing high functioning autistics to have a right to be who they are;thus believing us to have far more negative connotations.

people do not seem to realise the difference good support makes.
have been in a specialist residential centre for the severe and profound spectrums of autism for the past four years and within that time have completely changed attitude to self and own autism,am from a very bad family background; mum had turned to alcohol when was a toddler because she coudnt cope with neither the guilt put on her from the doctor or the disabilities of mine and was beaten for all behaviors and difficulties by dad,was bullied by sister-she did things like smash plates because was unable to communicate and woud get a beating,was beaten and roughly restrained at school as well every day,was resented by all the family including distant members of dads side because of the burden they thought was on them,sister of course;the gifted IQ aspie was loved by all and always spoke about by these family members.
had grown up beaten by mum when she was drunk to and regulary faced her screaming about wishing am dead and swinging knives in face when she was really on one,its why had ended up being forcibly moved into an LD institution,was also severely physicaly and mentaly bullied from playschool age onwards to the present-purely due to disabilities....so am not a privilidged autistic incase anyone thinks thats what it is.

have just learned that we can choose to be victims of our labels;the expectations people have on these and our past or we can try to move on and help ourselves by accessing as many coping strategies as possible to get around the barriers and learning to apreciate the qualities we have.
we need to do things that shows we are useful-this can be very helpful to mental health because we can see we are appreciated through other peopels actions to us even if we dont trust ourselves.

Im a 40 year old woman and just realized i have Aspergers . I would have to say i think it sucks but it does explain quite a few things that happened in my life. I have had 80 jobs and always get fired for behavioural issues , i cant use a knife to cut food properly , cant dance , have only a couple friends , get sick under florescent lights , and avoid social situations . This is going to take awhile to put together and figure out what to do about it . But right now i feel validated in my complaining about lights etc but depressed about my future.