Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear AN,

Why would you do something like this? You are a creative genius, you are everything, why are you throwing it all away? Do you want to destroy yourself? Stop and think about what you are doing to yourself. If you believe this is a way of getting back at Peter or anyone else, you are wrong! He will continue living his life just the same regardless of what happens to you and so will anyone else! Does it hurt that bad that you cannot endure it until it lessens? I'm devastated by the realization of what you are doing to yourself. WAKE UP, WAKE UP AND STOP DOING THIS! YOU HAVE TO STOP DOING THIS! I CANNOT DO IT FOR YOU!! !

Dear Booyakasha & Zen_Mistress thanks the both of your for your Happy Birthday threads, as I found such to e quite pleasant and most heartwarming by all manner of speaking..Well, I wsh the both of you the most serenity one can find in the both of your lives through and through as well for all the people whom left Happy Birthday remarks as well!

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Signed,
ProfessorX

Dear ProfX,
wishing all the best in your future endeavours and many happy birthdays yet to come!

Also best wishes from me, ProfessorX. It's always nice to hear from you.

And hello to you too, Booyakasha.

Hello jennyishere!

Dear Everybody, soon I'll be returning to my normal work schedule but, don't worry for, I'll try to post when time permits and all.2nd, I've come to enjoy being here on WP with all that goes on and the many unique people that make up the entirety of the place.Anyways, that's the extent of my thoughts for the time being with one exception I'm most thankful of those persons whom have sincerely chosen to befriended me, Thanks...

Signed,
ProfessorX

Dear Nerves and an Overactive Mind,

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” (Yes, Virginia Woolf committed suicide. My best guess is that that’s irony but I’m sometimes not so sure. Is it? Anyways, I digress...) It’s been a long time since we read Mrs. Dalloway, and the context of that quote has been lost to our working brains, and the outcome of the book has been perverted by that movie, but our subconscious pulled it back to our memory for a reason.

This is no time for washroom runs and weak knees. No time for hot pink or the deep blues. No time for delusion and fear. Do you remember the sun? The moon? Delirious breakfasts and midnight brownie bake-offs? Three A.M. pajama swims, wild strawberries, the gambler?

Hear the flute and run free through the lines of the labyrinth.

Best,
- Me

Deleted!

Dear Kids who camp out in front of the "manga" and "independent reader" sections of every bookshop nowadays, and make no effort to move over so customers can pass and/or look at the merchandise,

Where the hell were you raised? You're in a place of business, not your bedroom. There's nothing wrong with reading a few passages of a book before you decide whether or not to buy it, but at least get your bleeding carcass out of the way when you see that someone is trying to shop for books in that section. Don't just sit there, with your legs stretched out across the aisle, so shoppers have to step over you, dragging their coats and handbags over your faces. For crying out loud!

If someone is trying to get by or look at books, the proper response from you is to get up off the floor and say, "Oh, sorry." You might even say to your friends, "Let's move to someplace where we aren't being a nuisance and blocking people's way."

And how come you didn't learn this when you were five? Where are your parents?

Sincerely,

Elderwanda

Dear Synchronicity,

Everywhere I go, there you are. You creep up in plays and around corners, in words, in thought, in others conversations. I'd think you were all in my head if you didn't show up in the lives of friends and family as often as you do. Thank you for that, it's comforting to be able to reason out insanity.

Your pervasive nature is weaving one intricate web! How does one navigate without stepping on the sticky strands? Without being impeded by the weight of the structure? Are you Ariadne (you worked overtime this week with that one) leading us along the torturous path?

“Everything must happen as if by chance, without attaching too much importance to it, without insisting that you are performing a decisive operation.” Of that, you are a master.

Lead me onward,
- Me

P.S. Should I cut back on the Calvino?

Dear Healthy Choice, your fish fillet/rice/brocolli/apple crap tv dinner is crap.

The apple stuff is yucky and smells up everything and spills over into the rice, the cuts of broccoli are cheap, and for gods sake stop putting the frozen fish on top of the frozen rice! Learn some thermodynamics! At the suggested times you give, this fish cannot get well done because it made into a thick frozen chuck with the added frozen rice under it.
A thicker frozen piece of anything requires a lot more time to microwave than something thinner. Your frozen fish of about 3/4 inch is more like an 1 1/2 with the rice added on.
Poor design!

Dear The Well,

Please, update your website.

Many Thanks

Dear person,

You don't know who you are, but I wish you did. I don't think you're disabled like the rest of us are. Go away or admit it.

Sincerely, Ferdinand.

Dear Ackman,

f**k you and your stupid Creedonia. If it was going to be anything, it wouldn't be the boring piece of s**t that it is now. All the people are stuck up. Why the f**k did you join WP when you just spread around your stupid s**t as always. Maybe you should just die and go to hell, like all the the people in your life are going to when they die. If it ever does become famous or immensely popular, it will be after you die and rot. Oh by the way, The Creedon family is nothing but a bunch of stuck up a**holes. Look at your father. I don't know why you made him president.

Sincerely,

NT Ackman

Dear Ackman,

I wish you would seek comfort in Wrong Planet, or atleast in me. I know exactly how you feel.

Your friend,

Ferdinand