why do people care if others they hate kill themselves?

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I know the feeling.

how?

how do I know? all of my life I was never on anybody's frequency, so as a result I was always on the margins at best.

no they specifically say what they want on their ads and profiles. they list needing to have a decent job.
I'm not making this up nor am I lying to cover up for being rejected. I don't even talk to them because I don't meet their requirements to be allowed to talk to them. I haven't' messaged a girl in over a year now. ran out of one swho dont' list the great list of requirements. oh and guess what all the women at work say the same stuff. then go on facebook and yep they all say it too. men are gauged based on their income and work. you say you got married 28 years ago. well that puts you 28 years out of the loop as to what women want. also if your'e a aspie lady then you were never in the loop in the first place. problem is theres so very few of you and only aspie lady I met stopped talking to me after finding out I worked at the college. and when I say stopped I mean littler disconnected no by no explanation just gone.

actually women on tv are way more nice and accepting of guys. have you watched tv or movies. the guy like me always ends up happy with some girl who loves him for who he is. but thats not what it's like in rl. theres no happy ending for sad low income guys. I don' thave some author writing my story.

had a so called friend say the same stuff. women want a guy who can provide for them, spoil them, take them on vacations, buy them gifs, take them to dinner every night at some place.
women at work said similar things and even that theres no "decent" guys in our town.


one was talking about how a guy said he loved her but how could he he didn't get a good paying job or spoil her so he must not love her. nope cause love is solely income based don't you know.

why should I change whey is it men have to change, why the f**k can't women change you aren't gods. we don't have to bow to you or become someone new. f**k taht I don't want to be someone else tahts too stress ful and whats the point if I have to change and pretend to be someone I'm not for the rest of my life in fear that If I be myself she'll leave yep that sounds wonderful

bitterness has nothing to do with it. fyi I don't talk to people especially women about this. stuff. as far as people are concerned I'm happy, funny guy. ever date I went on they enjoyed. but that was long ago. only fery few often do people see I'm sad. oh when I get too happy and apparently me being happy annoys people and they say so aso I get sad.

yeah I've never said money and job is the sole and only reason its the gate though. if you don't have it you're never get to talk to them ie they'll never see the other things about you. 1. have a good paying job. then 2. do they have things in common.

if you dont' have 1. they don't care if you have 2. so until I get 1. which I can't I can't even start with trying to find out if I'm compatiable. sure I could lie, but not for long and they'll just dump me when they find out like the ladies at work's ex.

you're not all that way but the ones like you who aren't are all taken already. they got taken early on married, have family now. now its just the ones who are like this looking for that guy who doesnt' exist complaing about how all the guys in our town are crap because they dont' get paid enough.

you seem to think all women are angels and think like you. thats the problem all men are guilty all women are unable to be wrong and mean. yet I hear from aspie women similar expeiriences about women they've met and dealt with. so you have a whole bunch of men and a whole bunch of women saying the same thing but we all must be wrong?

or maybe women now adays from the me generation are mostly superficial?

go on okc or other dating sites look at proflies. go on facebook look at posts about it. google it. its really quite depressing.

gyms cost a lot. Im on ssi I can't afford to go to a gym and when I work I work slep work sleep, so no time to go spend 1-4 hours at a gyme. I have to drive that takes 1 each way, then 1hour to shave/shower, 30 min bathroom time so i dont' have to go at work, time to eat and get dressed. then drive to work(have to get ther eearly) then 8 1/2 hours work, then drive home. get stuff ready for next day eat, and pass out. I won't have the energy or time to go do a lot of wieght lifting and walking.

also why so I lose wieght like I have it doesn't matter unless I have a good paying job. I still can't talk to any women.

I can't go to clubs and try to pick women up. 1. I am too shy and not good sociallly, 2. not the type of women I want. 3 I can't afford it. I make $2 an hour after taxes and ssia takes it's cut. so i make like 150 every 3 months. clubs cost like $20 a night. then the drinks are like $5-10 each. all so I could fail at trying to pick up a girl that wouldnt match with me well. I also not into the whole one night stand with strange people stuff. clubs and bars are more for sex not relationships.

I want a girl who likes being inside and going on occasional hikes/camping. not some party going gets wasted every weekend girl.

I can't afford to go out. so women won't like me. I dont' like going out anwyays. my car could break down anytime for all I know and I can't afford the gas to go do something I hat and spend more money doing it.

also most group gatherings are all just a bunch of lonely old men. yep that sounds liek a great place to meet women. the ones who show up are the ones looking for a "real man" ie good job, looks, etc.

really sick of seeing that. that's why I feel worthless. because to the majority of women I'm not even a man. so what am I?

also its funny how no single woman eve speaks like you its always married/relationship women who say women dont' want that? why do you think that is?

and yeah I am starting to become bitter and hateful
not somethign I like and yet another reason to kill myself.

but lots of men are and its really no wonder why.

only thing therapy did is suggest finding a woman on welfar, but it not like theres SSI dating meet ups, and women on SSI can and do want guys with jobs, so f**k me.

you just make it worse, becuase you come iwth this its all the guys fault so it must all be my fault all this does is make me fee even worse and more angy at women. how is it my fault I was born defective and can't find work. I'm trying the gove is trying and with all their power they can't find me a job. so sorry I so worthless I didn't ask to be born in this s**t of a world.

Cmon, Sly...you have to use the Fox in you, sir.

I know you're having a hard time. I wish I could help.

Just play your video games this weekend, and forget about all this crap.

Are you still working at the book store?

no thankfully. I won't have to deal with that til steptember.

I'm going to clue you in on a few things Sly. Some of them you had no way of knowing and others I thought you already knew. Here goes.

1. I was in the loop when I was single, aspie or not. I wasn't dx'd till middle age and by then I had learned to pass as NT and get by. I never knew I had anything that caused me to be the way I was so I didn't see why I couldn't work on it and change it, which I did with a lot of long term help from a handfull of people I met when I was about 13 who saw something in me. That is what I encourage for people to do when they can. Even if you can't get to where you pass as NT, you get better. I dated a lot of guys when I was in my teens and until I married my husband at 22. I have a WHOLE LOT of dating experience. Probably more than I should have. I got around. Thats find though. However, this leads us to number.....

2. Just because I'm married doesn't mean all my friends are or that I don't know any single girls. Most of my friends are single either from divorce, never having married yet and one is a widow (the widow has been one for about 10 years now and that is the cougar I talk about, my best friend). I'm still aware of whats going on in the world and I go out with my friends alone, just us because my husband doesn't like going out places like that. I hear what the single gals say to me about what they way. I know tons of single guys and hear the problems they have too. Your's isn't that uncommon for the guys, except for the fact that you don't see why you should try and they do. Lots of them don't have jobs yet. Some aren't even in college still, and they don't have a job. Many get jobs, many get girlfriends, and many times not in that order. This brings us to number....

3. Dating sites are where you advertise for what you have in your mind that you want. They advertised for this type of guy so on there they don't want to talk to any guy who doesn't fit that. However, in the real world when they meet a guy who is smart and funny and they are attracted to, many times guess what? He has no job or he has a s**t job. Guess what happens, usually they date him anyway. My best friend is with a guy who WON'T keep a job. Oh, he can, but he won't. She supports him. She's about ready to dump him though, thank god. He's the skinhead who used to hit her. And she's pretty, and smart and has a job and nice and sweet. With him. She's not like some of the other girls out there, which there are a bunch of, I don't at all think we are all angels, not by a long shot. So here comes number......

4. There are shallow women and gold diggers out there. There are some who only want you if you fit this or that profile and some who only want to use you. I have a friend who has never been married, has two kids, and cuts hair at peoples houses occasionally for money. She just came by last night in a brand new 40k convertable. She didn't buy that cutting hair. The guy she's screwing bought it. Put it in her name too. She's one of THOSE. Gold digging b*****s. She's gotten by that way since I've known her. Her son is my younger son's best friend, so we have been friends a long time, about 8 or 10 years. She lives with a guy, he supports her and he has to support her in the style she's accustomed to. She puts up with anything, and when he can't anymore for whatever reason or she just can't put up with a lot of the s**t she has to put up with a guy who would live with her anyway, she dumps him and gets another one. There are also girls who think they are better than any guys who don't meet certain qualifications. Also girls who want to only date a guy who fits in with them and their social status etc, and all that is fine. There are guys out there who are the same way. If I was suddenly single do you think I'd stand a chance with a guy who has a good white collar upper middle class job? One who goes to the country club and has savings and investments and has credit cards that work and who is the "nice suburban guy"? Oh hell no! They wouldn't want me for s**t! Well, they might hire me to clean the house or something. I could sound and act like I fit in for a while and that would be fine for being a friend to them, but as a girlfriend they would find out fast that I'm a blue collar, redneck chick and that is NOT what they want. It works both ways.

Again, on dating sites you advertise for what you want, which you obviously haven't yet met. In real life you meet somebody and if you are attracted to them you work around the job s**t. Unless you are one of the b***h girls who want all this money and some do. I'd say maybe 40% of women under 30 and over 23 or 24 will reject a guy on a job issue, especially if she is working at a good job. Others would reject you if you didn't have any job at all unless you had a reason or were looking, but thats not a problem for some, believe it or not. To some women a good job is a blue collar steady job with a paycheck every week. My sons make about 400 to 500 a week (more with overtime when it's available) and it's a steady job, 40 hours a week, he has work every day. To many women that is a good job. To them it is, to us it is. My husband brings home 500 a week and we are in our early 50s, he's an electrician. "Good" means many different things, depending on who says it. To one girl it's enough to pay for a summer home and an overseas vacation and to another it's enough to pay rent and the bills without worry. Lots of guys down here where I am are fine with their women not working and being housewives, so a "good job" (one that pays the bills) is important to being a grown man down here, but this is the Deep South so things are different. Of course I don't know any who get mad if their girlfriends or wives work, but a lot of them like the idea of being able to support a wife and kids by themselves. It's a Southern thing I guess. The women can work if they choose but some choose not do, while others do. It's personal choice.

Don't take what you see on those sites as a reflection of anything other than what it is. The hopes and dreams of the girls who advertise there. If there are such a great f*****g catch why are they advertising for a husband on the internet anyway? Remember that too. Not that there is anything wrong with doing that, there isn't. When you need to get back in the dating scene and don't know how it's a good way, and it's harder for most guys to get dates than it is most girls, so guys are on there more frequently as well. I think you would do better meeting somebody somewhere than you would on those sites. I think it's probably more of a last ditch effort to advertise there for most girls.

ALso, why can't you buy some used weights and work out at home? Also, Google exercises and workouts using only your body weight. I have a friend who is a bodybuilder, really nice boy too, I promise, and he loves to help people that way. PM me and we can talk and I'll put you in touch with him and he can give you a workout you can do without weights and also a diet and he can help you figure out that side of things. He really is an expert.

I'm sorry you think I'm making things harder. I'm kind of a tough old bird and that is how I am, but if I didn't want to try to help I wouldn't have said anything in the first place. For real. You can take me seriously, this is me trying to be helpful. I also am understanding. Sometimes you just have to make me understand, cause I'm hardheaded. PM me ok?

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

cans of veggies can be used for weights. also, resistance bands aren't expensive.

I would also suggest work on how you look, which you are, work on how you come across and practice some things to say to girls and to talk about with them, find topics of interest that are good, and then go places and meet somebody. I don't mean bars. You usually don't find good quality at bars. Bars are for a hookup, I only know one guy who met his wife in a bar. If you don't have friends you can go out with to places or to parties where you will meet somebody, find clubs or organizations that do the things you like or want your girl to like and go to the meetings. Go more than once. Also, meet people there and make friends. Get invited to things with them and go. You might like their friends.

Basically, go places you would like your girl to like. Make friends with people who seem nice to you and also who seem like people who the girl you would like would hang around with.

There are two ways to meet a significant other. 1. A chance meeting somewhere that you were both strangers and had no reason to start talking to each other, like a bar or a store, etc. 2. Parties and gatherings with friends or through friends or relatives. I met my husband with number one. I was working in a gas station, he came in for gas, beer and cigarettes. I said he was awesome. That was that. We talked, hung out, moved to DC, got married. My kids met theirs through friends or family. My oldest daughter's fiance was my older son's best friend. My younger son's girlfriend was a girl he went to school with and who hung out in the same crowd as him. My younger daughter met a boyfriend when she went to a friends house with some other friends and that boy was there with other friends.

I've met people through friends, and from hanging out in the same group with them but I've also met a lot of guys I dated from chance meetings. Chance meetings work if you are outgoing and willing to take a chance. I've been shot down a lot too, and you have to be willing to let that happen and go on with it. I can do that, some can't. I understand. It's a lot easier to meet people who are there with friends of friends. I'd suggest that. First order of business is expanding your circle of friends. Be friends with guys who have girlfriends. Their girlfriends will bring their single friends to things. And no, it's not just couples who do things together. My kids have couples friends and lots of single friends. Everybody does things together, there is no pressure like their used to be.

I wouldn't put too much stock on what you see on tv, and none in what you see on those dating sites. I'd also bet you cash money that those girls get tons of messages from guys nowhere near what they have asked for. It's a given that will happen and they know it. While they may ask for a Mercedes, they will be willing to test drive quite a few other models, and might even end up with one. As long as you aren't a 72 Nova with 6 out of 8 cylinders firing, with no brakes, a cracked windshield and has to be started with a screwdriver and a rusted out floorboard, you have a chance.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

see the problem is I bought a weight which cost $6 for a 10 pound weight, but then I outgrew it. I can't afford to keep buying weights. my friend is super into weight lifting, he goes to a gym not just any gym because he has to pull weights off of other machines to keep up. he doesn't' buy weights for home because he'd have to spend a fortune. I thought about buying a bench but 1. dangerous to lift alone, 2. I have no space. I don't know how it is in the south but in the west people keep their garages full of s**t(boxes and boxes of s**t.) there's barely enough space to walk into ours.

most I can hope for is bring home 150ish a week after taxes if that. thats at $10 an hour. currenlty I only get 9.30 min wage is 9.20 here. I have taxes, then theres credit debt(they get 25% of anything over 200 a week) then if I get a full time job I'll have to pay 50-100 a month to school loans. oh and ssi they take half of every pre tax over 85 a month.

which is why I made like 544 for a 2 weeks and only get like 150 of it.

I can't afford to go anywhere and I'm dead afraid my car will break down, perhaps because despite what the shop said and despite them having it for 3 months it still broke down 3 times after they fixed it. hasn't yet again but could anytime :S so guess it would be better to give me dating advice you'd give a minor with no income.

everything cost money. thats why I took dates on walks, well they wanted it too and I like walks, get to talk vs movies where you can't. I have to budget and I budget for things that will make me happy even if just for a little while because its all that keeps me alive. been suffering through food. chicken/rice is good for weight loss, but it really is sucky after weeks of nothing but chick/rice v8 and bratwursts. I get pizza once and awhile but its so high in calories I can't eat much.

I such at remembering how to do lifts even with a teach telling and showing me I had hard time remembering and had to ask him. and if you do it wrong you can mess up your body, like guys who can't put their arms back and are always having them outward. I don't want that. over all though its a lack of moral. I don't even do wall pushups. I either don't remember ADHD,, its always at the wrong time , or I'm depressed in which case I'm lucky if I keep hydrated non less do pushups.

I'm on dating sites because I can't talk to women in person. I need to have 3 days to 2 weeks of text based conversation first. so I can feel comfortable talking to them. probably why the women I dated said I seemed confident. I was able by the time we met to open up. I don't even know what to say to this girl I met once 9 months ago. my sister is dragging her feet to talk to here. we walked 9 months ago was suppose to go on another 2 weeks after that, but nope sister forgot and all her church stuff is more important. but I don't know what to say to her and all the stuff on here and people told me in the past has me so afraid that anything I'll say in a message will just be creepy.

people here made it clear don't talk to women in public because they just want to be left alone. so thats out. I dealt with women at work all the time they come check out, small talk, and leave. I doubt any of them want to be bothered by a worthless man who's so far below them. not to mention ugly. I wear sunglasses and look toward the ground when I go shopping. I'd rather just be able to order my groceries and have them delivered.

I live on the edge of the poor city(which is one of the more wealty areas). most people and things are in downtown of the bigger city. so it cost money to get to the things and then it cost money to do the things.

not that there's groups or get togethers for video games, shooting, shaving, etc.
people get together to play magic of gathering, I don't like, big investment, cost to go to, and is 99% geeky guys. theres no board game socials here, no dating socials, no single groups, any convention is up in portland, so $50 gass, $30-150 to go to. and its mostly in relationship girls that go to them. I couldn't drive either so I'd have to take the train and that's another $100-200. then using the light rail up there is another $10.

I wish everything wasn't so expensive. food is cheap here compared to other states, but everything else is so expensive.not going burn through what savings I have in few days to possible and unlikley met some girl who will be to far away to date and won't like me when she finds out I'm too poor to take her places.

I need a poor girl who likes simple things, walks, hikes, camping, cuddling to movies/shows, playing video/board games. so like 60-70% indoor and rest outdoors. not into clubs/parties/nights on the town. eating out every so often is ok.

as for parties to meet. I have no friends. well I have some but they can't afford to go out either and don't know any single women, couples only hang out with couples. I was invited to their bbq, other guests were 2 other couples and ther many kids. yay a bunch of strangers and their kids while I sit in a corner alone.
family well like i said above only girl is the one my sister knows and what can I expect from my sister who forgot her own court date twice. that ws important to her I'm not so no wonder its been 9 months since any contact with the girl