dragonsanddemons
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Joined: 19 Mar 2011
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Posts: 6,659
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28 Nov 2017, 5:29 pm
28 Nov 2017, 5:50 pm
Absolutely do anything you can to heal up & keep that impulse in check, though be sure to emphasize your own civility in the process.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
28 Nov 2017, 6:13 pm
You said you are not crying much, that you just feel numb. That fits with self harm. The pain of self harm is a real feeling that briefly fill the emptiness inside but it doesn't last does it 
. Have you googled self harm much? There is a lot of information and strategies that may help in the short term. Have you tried ice or snapping elastic bands to substitute the pain from the pins? These strategies are only band-aids because self harm is only a symptom of a bigger/deeper problem.
If you feel unsafe then being an inpatient may be the best place for you but a lot will depend on where you go. There are good and bad places. Bad places will make things worse. When I was 15 my Father had me sectioned because he is a douche. I was put on an adult ward and was sexually assaulted by a male patient. I woke up one morning with him getting on top of me and he held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. It was horrifying. I left that place in worse shape than when I went in.
If you can find a therapist who you feel helps and you believe you can be safe at home, then that could be a better option because psych wards generally do not offer therapy as such. It's pretty much just meds and they wont get to the real problem.
Do consider talking to at least one of your parents. The shame that makes you hide what you are doing just makes you feel worse about yourself. Find some good sites so you have lots of information they can read. If they know, they can help by keeping knives etc away from you. From what you have said about them, they love you and will want to help.
Take care. We are always here for you. 
dragonsanddemons
Veteran
Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,659
Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan
28 Nov 2017, 6:33 pm
bunnyb wrote:
You said you are not crying much, that you just feel numb. That fits with self harm. The pain of self harm is a real feeling that briefly fill the emptiness inside but it doesn't last does it . Have you googled self harm much? There is a lot of information and strategies that may help in the short term. Have you tried ice or snapping elastic bands to substitute the pain from the pins? These strategies are only band-aids because self harm is only a symptom of a bigger/deeper problem.
If you feel unsafe then being an inpatient may be the best place for you but a lot will depend on where you go. There are good and bad places. Bad places will make things worse. When I was 15 my Father had me sectioned because he is a douche. I was put on an adult ward and was sexually assaulted by a male patient. I woke up one morning with him getting on top of me and he held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. It was horrifying. I left that place in worse shape than when I went in.
If you can find a therapist who you feel helps and you believe you can be safe at home, then that could be a better option because psych wards generally do not offer therapy as such. It's pretty much just meds and they wont get to the real problem.
Do consider talking to at least one of your parents. The shame that makes you hide what you are doing just makes you feel worse about yourself. Find some good sites so you have lots of information they can read. If they know, they can help by keeping knives etc away from you. From what you have said about them, they love you and will want to help.
Take care. We are always here for you.
. Have you googled self harm much? There is a lot of information and strategies that may help in the short term. Have you tried ice or snapping elastic bands to substitute the pain from the pins? These strategies are only band-aids because self harm is only a symptom of a bigger/deeper problem. If you feel unsafe then being an inpatient may be the best place for you but a lot will depend on where you go. There are good and bad places. Bad places will make things worse. When I was 15 my Father had me sectioned because he is a douche. I was put on an adult ward and was sexually assaulted by a male patient. I woke up one morning with him getting on top of me and he held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. It was horrifying. I left that place in worse shape than when I went in.
If you can find a therapist who you feel helps and you believe you can be safe at home, then that could be a better option because psych wards generally do not offer therapy as such. It's pretty much just meds and they wont get to the real problem.
Do consider talking to at least one of your parents. The shame that makes you hide what you are doing just makes you feel worse about yourself. Find some good sites so you have lots of information they can read. If they know, they can help by keeping knives etc away from you. From what you have said about them, they love you and will want to help.
Take care. We are always here for you.
I used to do it for the pain, but now it's the blood I'm really after - and something about knowing it's my blood adds to it, too. I don't get the same thrill from watching someone else bleed. I'm pretty sure something like dripping red food coloring on myself won't help in that case. I've seen suggestions for providing some pain without doing real harm - I actually kind of wish that was still what I was after so I'd at least probably have a temporary solution. I've looked around a bit, and most of the suggestions are for replicating the pain.
The part of me that says "do whatever you can to avoid hospitalization" is afraid of bad places and/or bad things happening while I'm there, but the other part of me says that maybe I'll have a really good experience that will truly help, and doesn't trust me at home with easy access to stuff I can hurt myself with.
I've told my mom that I self-harm and that I've been doing it again recently, but not the extent to which I do - she thinks I'm still just scratching myself a bit with my fingernails. I'm not so much ashamed of it - my mom, in fact, showed me an article about how self-harm can become an addiction, so I'd trust her to understand. Mostly I just don't want to worry my parents - but then again, if I end up hospitalized for it, that will probably worry them, too. I'll also mention to my therapist the next time I'm in that I'm annoyed by the amount of small talk we do, and hopefully he'll try to cut down on it and we'll have time to actually get somewhere.
28 Nov 2017, 8:18 pm
dragonsanddemons wrote:
bunnyb wrote:
You said you are not crying much, that you just feel numb. That fits with self harm. The pain of self harm is a real feeling that briefly fill the emptiness inside but it doesn't last does it . Have you googled self harm much? There is a lot of information and strategies that may help in the short term. Have you tried ice or snapping elastic bands to substitute the pain from the pins? These strategies are only band-aids because self harm is only a symptom of a bigger/deeper problem.
If you feel unsafe then being an inpatient may be the best place for you but a lot will depend on where you go. There are good and bad places. Bad places will make things worse. When I was 15 my Father had me sectioned because he is a douche. I was put on an adult ward and was sexually assaulted by a male patient. I woke up one morning with him getting on top of me and he held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. It was horrifying. I left that place in worse shape than when I went in.
If you can find a therapist who you feel helps and you believe you can be safe at home, then that could be a better option because psych wards generally do not offer therapy as such. It's pretty much just meds and they wont get to the real problem.
Do consider talking to at least one of your parents. The shame that makes you hide what you are doing just makes you feel worse about yourself. Find some good sites so you have lots of information they can read. If they know, they can help by keeping knives etc away from you. From what you have said about them, they love you and will want to help.
Take care. We are always here for you.
. Have you googled self harm much? There is a lot of information and strategies that may help in the short term. Have you tried ice or snapping elastic bands to substitute the pain from the pins? These strategies are only band-aids because self harm is only a symptom of a bigger/deeper problem. If you feel unsafe then being an inpatient may be the best place for you but a lot will depend on where you go. There are good and bad places. Bad places will make things worse. When I was 15 my Father had me sectioned because he is a douche. I was put on an adult ward and was sexually assaulted by a male patient. I woke up one morning with him getting on top of me and he held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. It was horrifying. I left that place in worse shape than when I went in.
If you can find a therapist who you feel helps and you believe you can be safe at home, then that could be a better option because psych wards generally do not offer therapy as such. It's pretty much just meds and they wont get to the real problem.
Do consider talking to at least one of your parents. The shame that makes you hide what you are doing just makes you feel worse about yourself. Find some good sites so you have lots of information they can read. If they know, they can help by keeping knives etc away from you. From what you have said about them, they love you and will want to help.
Take care. We are always here for you.
I used to do it for the pain, but now it's the blood I'm really after - and something about knowing it's my blood adds to it, too. I don't get the same thrill from watching someone else bleed. I'm pretty sure something like dripping red food coloring on myself won't help in that case. I've seen suggestions for providing some pain without doing real harm - I actually kind of wish that was still what I was after so I'd at least probably have a temporary solution. I've looked around a bit, and most of the suggestions are for replicating the pain.
The part of me that says "do whatever you can to avoid hospitalization" is afraid of bad places and/or bad things happening while I'm there, but the other part of me says that maybe I'll have a really good experience that will truly help, and doesn't trust me at home with easy access to stuff I can hurt myself with.
I've told my mom that I self-harm and that I've been doing it again recently, but not the extent to which I do - she thinks I'm still just scratching myself a bit with my fingernails. I'm not so much ashamed of it - my mom, in fact, showed me an article about how self-harm can become an addiction, so I'd trust her to understand. Mostly I just don't want to worry my parents - but then again, if I end up hospitalized for it, that will probably worry them, too. I'll also mention to my therapist the next time I'm in that I'm annoyed by the amount of small talk we do, and hopefully he'll try to cut down on it and we'll have time to actually get somewhere.
Maybe it would help to have to have a family meeting with your parents, and you can tell them how badly you are feeling, and that you need help because your therapist is not helping you at all. Likely, it will not be fun, but it may be the only way that they will fully understand how much you are suffering. It seems to me that they can not comprehend how badly you are struggling. It makes me sad that they do not give you their undivided attention to your problems, and that they just let you live this way.
dragonsanddemons
Veteran
Joined: 19 Mar 2011
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 6,659
Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan
28 Nov 2017, 8:27 pm
300series wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
bunnyb wrote:
You said you are not crying much, that you just feel numb. That fits with self harm. The pain of self harm is a real feeling that briefly fill the emptiness inside but it doesn't last does it . Have you googled self harm much? There is a lot of information and strategies that may help in the short term. Have you tried ice or snapping elastic bands to substitute the pain from the pins? These strategies are only band-aids because self harm is only a symptom of a bigger/deeper problem.
If you feel unsafe then being an inpatient may be the best place for you but a lot will depend on where you go. There are good and bad places. Bad places will make things worse. When I was 15 my Father had me sectioned because he is a douche. I was put on an adult ward and was sexually assaulted by a male patient. I woke up one morning with him getting on top of me and he held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. It was horrifying. I left that place in worse shape than when I went in.
If you can find a therapist who you feel helps and you believe you can be safe at home, then that could be a better option because psych wards generally do not offer therapy as such. It's pretty much just meds and they wont get to the real problem.
Do consider talking to at least one of your parents. The shame that makes you hide what you are doing just makes you feel worse about yourself. Find some good sites so you have lots of information they can read. If they know, they can help by keeping knives etc away from you. From what you have said about them, they love you and will want to help.
Take care. We are always here for you.
. Have you googled self harm much? There is a lot of information and strategies that may help in the short term. Have you tried ice or snapping elastic bands to substitute the pain from the pins? These strategies are only band-aids because self harm is only a symptom of a bigger/deeper problem. If you feel unsafe then being an inpatient may be the best place for you but a lot will depend on where you go. There are good and bad places. Bad places will make things worse. When I was 15 my Father had me sectioned because he is a douche. I was put on an adult ward and was sexually assaulted by a male patient. I woke up one morning with him getting on top of me and he held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. It was horrifying. I left that place in worse shape than when I went in.
If you can find a therapist who you feel helps and you believe you can be safe at home, then that could be a better option because psych wards generally do not offer therapy as such. It's pretty much just meds and they wont get to the real problem.
Do consider talking to at least one of your parents. The shame that makes you hide what you are doing just makes you feel worse about yourself. Find some good sites so you have lots of information they can read. If they know, they can help by keeping knives etc away from you. From what you have said about them, they love you and will want to help.
Take care. We are always here for you.
I used to do it for the pain, but now it's the blood I'm really after - and something about knowing it's my blood adds to it, too. I don't get the same thrill from watching someone else bleed. I'm pretty sure something like dripping red food coloring on myself won't help in that case. I've seen suggestions for providing some pain without doing real harm - I actually kind of wish that was still what I was after so I'd at least probably have a temporary solution. I've looked around a bit, and most of the suggestions are for replicating the pain.
The part of me that says "do whatever you can to avoid hospitalization" is afraid of bad places and/or bad things happening while I'm there, but the other part of me says that maybe I'll have a really good experience that will truly help, and doesn't trust me at home with easy access to stuff I can hurt myself with.
I've told my mom that I self-harm and that I've been doing it again recently, but not the extent to which I do - she thinks I'm still just scratching myself a bit with my fingernails. I'm not so much ashamed of it - my mom, in fact, showed me an article about how self-harm can become an addiction, so I'd trust her to understand. Mostly I just don't want to worry my parents - but then again, if I end up hospitalized for it, that will probably worry them, too. I'll also mention to my therapist the next time I'm in that I'm annoyed by the amount of small talk we do, and hopefully he'll try to cut down on it and we'll have time to actually get somewhere.
Maybe it would help to have to have a family meeting with your parents, and you can tell them how badly you are feeling, and that you need help because your therapist is not helping you at all. Likely, it will not be fun, but it may be the only way that they will fully understand how much you are suffering. It seems to me that they can not comprehend how badly you are struggling. It makes me sad that they do not give you their undivided attention to your problems, and that they just let you live this way.
I'll probably have to do that if my next appointments with my psychologist and therapist don't go well. You're right, it won't be fun, but they can't help me get help if they don't know I need it. A significant part of why they don't know is because I'm very secretive about this sort of thing in person, and hate talking about it. For example, when asked how my day was, I'll say "fine" even if it was horrible because I'd much rather be left alone than answer a bunch of questions about what was so bad about it, and then I don't bring it up again after I've had my much-needed alone time. So a lot of it's my fault, not my parents'.
29 Nov 2017, 1:44 am
dragonsanddemons wrote:
300series wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
bunnyb wrote:
You said you are not crying much, that you just feel numb. That fits with self harm. The pain of self harm is a real feeling that briefly fill the emptiness inside but it doesn't last does it . Have you googled self harm much? There is a lot of information and strategies that may help in the short term. Have you tried ice or snapping elastic bands to substitute the pain from the pins? These strategies are only band-aids because self harm is only a symptom of a bigger/deeper problem.
If you feel unsafe then being an inpatient may be the best place for you but a lot will depend on where you go. There are good and bad places. Bad places will make things worse. When I was 15 my Father had me sectioned because he is a douche. I was put on an adult ward and was sexually assaulted by a male patient. I woke up one morning with him getting on top of me and he held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. It was horrifying. I left that place in worse shape than when I went in.
If you can find a therapist who you feel helps and you believe you can be safe at home, then that could be a better option because psych wards generally do not offer therapy as such. It's pretty much just meds and they wont get to the real problem.
Do consider talking to at least one of your parents. The shame that makes you hide what you are doing just makes you feel worse about yourself. Find some good sites so you have lots of information they can read. If they know, they can help by keeping knives etc away from you. From what you have said about them, they love you and will want to help.
Take care. We are always here for you.
. Have you googled self harm much? There is a lot of information and strategies that may help in the short term. Have you tried ice or snapping elastic bands to substitute the pain from the pins? These strategies are only band-aids because self harm is only a symptom of a bigger/deeper problem. If you feel unsafe then being an inpatient may be the best place for you but a lot will depend on where you go. There are good and bad places. Bad places will make things worse. When I was 15 my Father had me sectioned because he is a douche. I was put on an adult ward and was sexually assaulted by a male patient. I woke up one morning with him getting on top of me and he held his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. It was horrifying. I left that place in worse shape than when I went in.
If you can find a therapist who you feel helps and you believe you can be safe at home, then that could be a better option because psych wards generally do not offer therapy as such. It's pretty much just meds and they wont get to the real problem.
Do consider talking to at least one of your parents. The shame that makes you hide what you are doing just makes you feel worse about yourself. Find some good sites so you have lots of information they can read. If they know, they can help by keeping knives etc away from you. From what you have said about them, they love you and will want to help.
Take care. We are always here for you.
I used to do it for the pain, but now it's the blood I'm really after - and something about knowing it's my blood adds to it, too. I don't get the same thrill from watching someone else bleed. I'm pretty sure something like dripping red food coloring on myself won't help in that case. I've seen suggestions for providing some pain without doing real harm - I actually kind of wish that was still what I was after so I'd at least probably have a temporary solution. I've looked around a bit, and most of the suggestions are for replicating the pain.
The part of me that says "do whatever you can to avoid hospitalization" is afraid of bad places and/or bad things happening while I'm there, but the other part of me says that maybe I'll have a really good experience that will truly help, and doesn't trust me at home with easy access to stuff I can hurt myself with.
I've told my mom that I self-harm and that I've been doing it again recently, but not the extent to which I do - she thinks I'm still just scratching myself a bit with my fingernails. I'm not so much ashamed of it - my mom, in fact, showed me an article about how self-harm can become an addiction, so I'd trust her to understand. Mostly I just don't want to worry my parents - but then again, if I end up hospitalized for it, that will probably worry them, too. I'll also mention to my therapist the next time I'm in that I'm annoyed by the amount of small talk we do, and hopefully he'll try to cut down on it and we'll have time to actually get somewhere.
Maybe it would help to have to have a family meeting with your parents, and you can tell them how badly you are feeling, and that you need help because your therapist is not helping you at all. Likely, it will not be fun, but it may be the only way that they will fully understand how much you are suffering. It seems to me that they can not comprehend how badly you are struggling. It makes me sad that they do not give you their undivided attention to your problems, and that they just let you live this way.
I'll probably have to do that if my next appointments with my psychologist and therapist don't go well. You're right, it won't be fun, but they can't help me get help if they don't know I need it. A significant part of why they don't know is because I'm very secretive about this sort of thing in person, and hate talking about it. For example, when asked how my day was, I'll say "fine" even if it was horrible because I'd much rather be left alone than answer a bunch of questions about what was so bad about it, and then I don't bring it up again after I've had my much-needed alone time. So a lot of it's my fault, not my parents'.
Your parents really should be more understanding & sympathetic about your problems, and attempt to get you the help you need. I have had meetings with my parents, and sometimes they were successful, and other times they were unsuccessful. The only way to find out is by talking with them. I am also very secretive about my problems, and I hate talking about them. I would always have to answer questions because my parents could tell that something was wrong, but I knew that they had good intentions.
dragonsanddemons
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29 Nov 2017, 2:06 am
The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Nov 2017, 3:03 am
dragonsanddemons
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29 Nov 2017, 8:33 am
29 Nov 2017, 2:50 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
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29 Nov 2017, 5:01 pm
dragonsanddemons
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29 Nov 2017, 7:42 pm
dragonsanddemons
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29 Nov 2017, 8:03 pm
dragonsanddemons
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Location: The Labyrinth of Leviathan
30 Nov 2017, 12:15 am
30 Nov 2017, 12:33 am
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