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auntblabby
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23 Nov 2020, 12:44 am

idntonkw wrote:
I was surprised my sister would despise me for not standing up to bullies or getting into a fight and for not being socially appropriate in public. It actually hurt her to see that too as she says she felt protective over me always, but couldn't do anything. But other times she would despise me for not financially supporting my mom or even her. I later realized that it would mean a lot for her if I went ahead and rented her an apartment or bought her a car or paid off her loan, because for women it is important to see a man put something on the life that is like part of their body - be it their physical safety through a fight or their physical safety by spending their limited amount of money.

that IMHO is unfair of your sister to expect you to pay her freight for her. that is a form of slavery AFAIC. if you have comfortable finances that is one thing, but if you struggle just to survive, that is too much for her to expect.



The_Face_of_Boo
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23 Nov 2020, 5:10 am

idntonkw wrote:
Hollywood_Guy wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
a lot of us incels seem to repel women somehow, no matter what we do. repel or anger. so no friendships possible. a continuing mystery sidestepped only with hermithood.



Women despise weak men. If you can't fight for yourself when another man insults you, they despise that. If you don't have the impulse to defend yourself, your girlfriend or wife, and your sister, they despise you. If you are easily scared and get paralyzed with fear, they despise you for that. Women despise weak men.



According to one study, both men and women get penalized if they behave against gender stereotypes, and both men and women seem to despite weak men:

Quote:
When women behave in ways that don’t fit their gender stereotype — for example, by being assertive — they are viewed as less likable and ultimately less hirable. Does that same hold true for men? Are they similarly penalized for straying from the strong masculine stereotype?


The short answer is yes. Research demonstrates that men too face backlash when they don’t adhere to masculine gender stereotypes — when they show vulnerability, act nicer, display empathy, express sadness, exhibit modesty, and proclaim to be feminists. This is troubling not least because it discourages men from behaving in ways known to benefit their teams and their own careers.


Quote:
What happens when they show emotions other than anger? Research demonstrates that men who show sadness at work are thought of as less deserving of that emotion as compared to sad women. A study from 2017 found that men who cry at work are perceived as more emotional and less competent than women who cry. And when men cry in response to performance feedback, the feedback provider rates them as a lower performer, less likely to get promoted, and less capable, as compared to women who cry. While we don’t want men or women regularly crying at work, an authentic work environment has to allow all employees to experience the same emotions without penalty.


https://hbr.org/2018/10/how-men-get-pen ... line-norms



idntonkw
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23 Nov 2020, 5:50 am

auntblabby wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
I was surprised my sister would despise me for not standing up to bullies or getting into a fight and for not being socially appropriate in public. It actually hurt her to see that too as she says she felt protective over me always, but couldn't do anything. But other times she would despise me for not financially supporting my mom or even her. I later realized that it would mean a lot for her if I went ahead and rented her an apartment or bought her a car or paid off her loan, because for women it is important to see a man put something on the life that is like part of their body - be it their physical safety through a fight or their physical safety by spending their limited amount of money.

that IMHO is unfair of your sister to expect you to pay her freight for her. that is a form of slavery AFAIC. if you have comfortable finances that is one thing, but if you struggle just to survive, that is too much for her to expect.


I had extra money at the time, and she had trouble with money, and she wanted me to put something on the line for her and something substantial that would make her survival easier.. on the other hand she never asked and we were both spending our money recklessly and were bad with finances.



auntblabby
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23 Nov 2020, 6:53 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
idntonkw wrote:
Hollywood_Guy wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
a lot of us incels seem to repel women somehow, no matter what we do. repel or anger. so no friendships possible. a continuing mystery sidestepped only with hermithood.



Women despise weak men. If you can't fight for yourself when another man insults you, they despise that. If you don't have the impulse to defend yourself, your girlfriend or wife, and your sister, they despise you. If you are easily scared and get paralyzed with fear, they despise you for that. Women despise weak men.



According to one study, both men and women get penalized if they behave against gender stereotypes, and both men and women seem to despite weak men:

Quote:
When women behave in ways that don’t fit their gender stereotype — for example, by being assertive — they are viewed as less likable and ultimately less hirable. Does that same hold true for men? Are they similarly penalized for straying from the strong masculine stereotype?


The short answer is yes. Research demonstrates that men too face backlash when they don’t adhere to masculine gender stereotypes — when they show vulnerability, act nicer, display empathy, express sadness, exhibit modesty, and proclaim to be feminists. This is troubling not least because it discourages men from behaving in ways known to benefit their teams and their own careers.


Quote:
What happens when they show emotions other than anger? Research demonstrates that men who show sadness at work are thought of as less deserving of that emotion as compared to sad women. A study from 2017 found that men who cry at work are perceived as more emotional and less competent than women who cry. And when men cry in response to performance feedback, the feedback provider rates them as a lower performer, less likely to get promoted, and less capable, as compared to women who cry. While we don’t want men or women regularly crying at work, an authentic work environment has to allow all employees to experience the same emotions without penalty.


https://hbr.org/2018/10/how-men-get-pen ... line-norms

men tend to reward sociopathic behavior, in my experience.



Pepe
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23 Nov 2020, 7:08 am

auntblabby wrote:
men tend to reward sociopathic behavior, in my experience.


Say, what? :scratch:
In wot universe?

"Please explain." :mrgreen:



auntblabby
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23 Nov 2020, 7:11 am

Pepe wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
men tend to reward sociopathic behavior, in my experience.


Say, what? :scratch:
In wot universe?

"Please explain." :mrgreen:

my experience in the army was that "burning" some scapegoat GI was rewarded with promotion and other brownie points.



Jakki
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23 Nov 2020, 10:12 am

auntblabby wrote:
Hollywood_Guy wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
a lot of us incels seem to repel women somehow, no matter what we do. repel or anger. so no friendships possible. a continuing mystery sidestepped only with hermithood.


Auntblabby, I didn't know you were an "incel" :?

i don't have the social genes at least f2f. i tend to creep people out no matter what i do.


Has yet to be creeped out by Auntblabby.


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auntblabby
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23 Nov 2020, 10:13 am

Jakki wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Hollywood_Guy wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
a lot of us incels seem to repel women somehow, no matter what we do. repel or anger. so no friendships possible. a continuing mystery sidestepped only with hermithood.


Auntblabby, I didn't know you were an "incel" :?

i don't have the social genes at least f2f. i tend to creep people out no matter what i do.


Has yet to be creeped out by Auntblabby.

thank you :heart: you are one of the few, the proud, the UNDERSTANDING... :star:



Jakki
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23 Nov 2020, 12:33 pm

Your very welcome .


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Sylkat
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01 Dec 2020, 3:58 pm

Don’t most Aspies/ Autistics have some degree of social difficulty?
I sure do.
My self-acceptance would have been SO different if Autism/Aspergers had been known about when I was in school.


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blazingstar
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01 Dec 2020, 6:06 pm

Jakki wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Hollywood_Guy wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
a lot of us incels seem to repel women somehow, no matter what we do. repel or anger. so no friendships possible. a continuing mystery sidestepped only with hermithood.


Auntblabby, I didn't know you were an "incel" :?

i don't have the social genes at least f2f. i tend to creep people out no matter what i do.


Has yet to be creeped out by Auntblabby.


Me either.

But I don’t get the f2f. Don’t you mean m2f?


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Pepe
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01 Dec 2020, 6:09 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Jakki wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Hollywood_Guy wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
a lot of us incels seem to repel women somehow, no matter what we do. repel or anger. so no friendships possible. a continuing mystery sidestepped only with hermithood.


Auntblabby, I didn't know you were an "incel" :?

i don't have the social genes at least f2f. i tend to creep people out no matter what i do.


Has yet to be creeped out by Auntblabby.

thank you :heart: you are one of the few, the proud, the UNDERSTANDING... :star:


I'm not. :mrgreen:



funeralxempire
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01 Dec 2020, 7:33 pm

blazingstar wrote:

But I don’t get the f2f. Don’t you mean m2f?


He means face-to-face.


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