Rants

Post Reply New Topic

its for your own good

Surprisingly, that actually feels quite a bit better. Take that, wall! I'll teach you for not keeping sound out and giving me a headache.... AGAIN!

I wouldn't be so mad at a wall if it wasn't suppost to be a good noise cancelling material in this room.

I'm so f*****g mad at myself! I'm the most annoying ridiculous person I know! The second something is going wrong with a job/school program or anything in my life I just quit....I just give up right away.....and I've known for years that I always do this because of stress and should learn to manage my stress and stop impulsively dropping courses at school etc. and yet I must not really care enough because I keep repeating this pattern over and over again in spite of my knowledge of it. In short...I'm just a loser who takes the easy way out.....

Ugrhhh why do college computers have to be so slow?! It's not like there was heavy computer use, maybe five people in the whole library. I pretty much gave up on getting any work done after it took half an hour to look through a few web pages. But I don't feel secure working at home so I have no choice.

Also people take a long time to reply to my messages sometimes! I mean really... I understand being busy but who in the world takes over a week to reply to something? I feel guilty if I take more than a couple of days to reply to a message. Makes me suspect that people just don't care.

I guess I have a lot of minor gripes at the moment.

BAR BAR BAR.

I need more self-control.

I am annoyed when people say stuff like "if you can do x some of the time, why don't you just keep doing it?".

Hey, if you can stay awake for some of the time, why don't you just stay awake all of the time? If you can hold your breathe some of the time, why not do it all of the time? If you can juggle some of the time, why not do it all of the time? You see where I'm coming from?

The other day, my mother was all like "You should have spent the last year dealing with your perfectionism". First off, I've made tremendous leaps and bounds and she's acknowledged this. Second, it's not easy to change how you view yourself when that's how you've felt your entire life. Not to mention that my neurotype means that I'm more prone to obsessing over details. I know she means no harm - I know she just doesn't know what to make of my 'issues' at times, but it's really annoying. If I have to just get over my perfectionism, then she should just get over her stoicism.

Just had a meltdown, currently on the phone with my mom.

Repeatedly get trapped in the same old spider web of words.
I need armor-plating and happiness inducing 'something' maybe a long run with my music.

Sometimes I try to pretend it isn't but the world is literally just people using each other and the people on bottom getting thrown away. It's impossible to view people without being constantly cynical about both their intentions and your own. Welcome back, horrible pervasive depression! Now to play videogames and buy things to pretend you don't exist.

e: while I'm at it, I really wish I hadn't broken up with my ex. I really miss her and she hates me cause of it so I haven't seen her in almost half a year. I'm a screw up :/

vvvv seriously!

Last edited by Almajo88 on 11 Jun 2012, 3:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

God I hate other people so much. Everyone makes me so paranoid and threatened.

I can't stand the people at my job. Being a cashier, it's expected to come across idiots and the like.
But, for f**k's sake:
-I don't want to hear your stupid little jokes, they wouldn't be funny to me even if I weren't an Aspie.
-Just because I don't smile as much as you see necessary doesn't mean that there's something wrong with me, I'm upset, or unfriendly--fuck you, seriously. Who are you to make these audacious judgements about me when you don't even know me. People are more complex than face value (in this case, literally) alludes to, and the fact that you feel it necessary to arrogantly point out what you think about me makes me think that you're a little bit worse off than "unfriendly."
-I do have a sense of humor. You're just not funny, and who are you to say that I have no sense of humor. That "just made it line" has never been funny, and I've heard it damn near every time that I've had to check a bill larger than a twenty. Don't you think that I've heard them before, and that they're so much more annoying than words can describe? Admittedly, I have difficulties understanding jokes sometimes. This is not my fault, and, despite how odd I feel in saying this, I have to work harder everyday just to get by (never mind fitting in, just getting folks to not bother me about how I'm different); so much harder than you can comprehend. Have some respect for me, because I respect you until given a reason not to.
-Literacy. Look it up. Seriously, the aisles are labelled with big, bold-printed lettering. Figure out for yourself where the damn bread is. And for that matter, read the flyers and coupons. If you have the time to become irrationally upset about not getting ONE DOLLAR off of your order, than you have the f*****g time to figure out that you didn't purchase the right item.
-Stop taking advantage of the fact that whining enough will get you what you want. You know it, I know it. Goodness gracious, grow up people. I'm twenty and I don't pester and whine about my SHOPPING ORDER as much as you all seem to do. It's retail, and it's REALLY NOT that serious.
-I'm not there to be your friend, or your therapist. I don't want to hear about your cat, or your unbelievably personal issues. I'm merely there as a guy, working for a paycheck. I have my own problems, but I don't go on about them. It's staggering how much I'm expected to baby you all. Again, I'm twenty. I really should not have better sense than people sometimes twice my senior in age. Again, grow up and stop acting so immature. This includes fighting in the store over items and coupons and the like. COME ON!

Also, D: I've been there for four years now. Stop treating me as if I'm new and show some damn respect--I may be twenty, but that's no excuse to reprimand me as if I were a child. I'm better at my job than you are, I know more than you do, and whenever you screw up or show general incompetence, I hold my tongue. It's consideration, plain and simple.
Yet, when the time arises where you see me make the slightest of slights, you berate me to hell and back. It's not the end of the world if you must be troubled to give me change when I run out. It-is-your-job, and I can't help the influx of customers and transactions. Just because I didn't need quarters a half-hour ago doesn't give you the right to call me "ridiculous" for requesting something that you're required to assist me with.
You don't work quickly to begin with, so it's not too great of a loss if you need to take the minute-and-a-half out of your day to exchange my till's cash for a roll of coinage. I'm not deliberately screwing around, and YOU'RE being ridiculous.
And for that matter, the only time that I EVER ask to use the restroom, I have to go number two. I can't control when this happens, nor can I control the speed (the last time that I tried, I got a hemorrhoid). So when I ask, don't get suspicious or hold again me that I take a little while.
See, your problem is that you take the slightest of instances and then proceed to hold them against whomever for as long as they are employed with the store. Now, you say you will check my drawer every time that I ask for change, or you hesitate before letting me use the restroom and then come in to check in on me? FOR f**k'S SAKE. You are THE most incompetent jackass I have ever met in a workplace environment--and this is the same environment where someone honest to goodness thought that they could catch my conjunctivitis through eye-contact.
So, in closing, you customers that come in are all horrible people, and D, you suck... soo hard, man. I may get irritated easily, but it takes quite a great deal of effort to get my steamed. You not only accomplish this, but have done so for four years. I've never before had to maintain this type of threshold for the gamut of homicidal thoughts that spring up during the day, so thanks a ton jack-ass.

I am sick of the NT's at my work... Things change and it turns my world upside down! Yet im expected to just deal with it and get over it like everybody else. The older nurses think im just being difficult or dont want to work when i wander slightly, i wander so i can keep composed at work when people are doing things that annoy me i cant just ignore it... im too busy ignoring the lights flicking or the beepers going off or everybody else talking, im trying to supress the urge to count the lines on the floor already

UHRTGHJHHJHJGBHJEFGFHJKGHDJFRAJK;RHG;JKAHJK;

Nothing can quite sum up how bad the last couple of days have been (but that won't stop me from trying). First of all, I got a college email from our 'course coordinator' informing us that the final deadline for all work is this Friday. We were literally not told beforehand. I even asked, several times! Now I knew I had to do at least an assignment or two a day so I spent a good amount of time doing work yesterday, disobeying the instructions of the doctor who told me I had to keep my leg up as much as possible for two weeks due to cellulitis (an infection of the leg, it's swollen to like twice the normal size). I stayed in all day and completed a couple of pieces of work including a report. I've been feeling really ill and stressed and keep getting this kind of detached feeling and anxiety as a result, so I'm not exactly in the right state of mind to be doing this. I was barely able to work today but I made an attempt, until I got an email from a tutor telling me that the previous day's report was really good and would have achieved a distinction... if it were handed in on time. Apparently the extension he granted me over my leg (which at the time we thought was a blood clot) only ran through the half-term week, when college was mostly closed and I had nowhere to work as a result. Couldn't really stay after that, ended up sending a fairly honest email to the course coordinator (although if I were more honest I'd call her incompetent) after sitting in a toilet cubicle wishing it would all end.

I would have done this work last week if I'd known about the deadline or didn't have a massive, bulbous leg. This is the most important thing to me right now. And one of my tutors has failed to tell me about an extra unit I desperately need to do for either of my choices, despite me asking at least twice.

Sometimes it just feels as if everything is conspiring against you...

Oops...double posted...ummm...posted imperfectly? Win

Last edited by Guybrush_Threepwood on 13 Jun 2012, 3:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hey MindBlind

I know this area is for rants and not for advice, but I suffer from the whole 'perfectionism' problem as well. I know how frustrating it can be, so felt compelled to write a short reply in the form of advice. My job involves creating technical drawings and administrating contracts...In case the potential for frustration is not obvious...rereading lines in documents multiple times with mental tools to ensure I have the correct understanding by substituting words, referring to earlier segments to ensure continuity in meaning...and drawings! Urgh! Every drawing has to be to scale, regardless if it is required or has an indicative purpose only...consistency in style such as where text leader arrows point to on objects...and when a drawing is finished, then comes the process of ensuring a high level of aesthetic appeal by aligning text to common edges...and calcs!! ! Oh magic space cow pbuh!! ! Equals...ok, rerun calc from beginning...now do it in reverse to ensure a zero result...hit clear all ten times...one more time to be sure... D:

I read a piece of advice once that suggested practicing doing things imperfectly...the example given was washing dishes, but I can't do that...takes me a very long time to wash up still but for me, practicing to hang out clothes, wash the car, fold clothing, and making coffee works...and it feels really good when I stand back (or take a sip) and realise that I have done something half-assed I even chuckle to myself sometimes...joy and relief

I hope this might help you, and I now realize that I ranted to...so my reply belongs here after all (:

Guy

Dear idiots at work who keep trying to make me feel bad about myself,

I don't care what you think.
No, I will not start wearing more make up. No, I will not stop wearing the clothes I like, just because me wearing a dress offends your feminist sensibilities. No, I will not stop wearing all of the other clothes I like. No, I will not let you gulit trip me into eating crappy MacDonalds with you, when I have perfectly good mole poblano there. No, I will not straighten my hair or dye it lighter just because you tell me to. And finally, no, I will not stop dancing and doing the other sports I like, because I actually enjoy them even though I know that is a foreign concept to you.

So f*ck off and go be miserable by yourself, because I sure as hell won't be joining you.

Sincerely,
the annoying little brat who drives everyone bonkers