scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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+2
I've been quite happy in general for the past 3 or 4 months.
What's getting me down now is a headache.

+5.5 I am kinda sorta happy right now. I sold an original piece (I am an artist) for $125. I drew a Cocker Spaniel. I do commissions for people of their pets or any animal they want. Also a new store is selling my art and already sold 3 cards. Also a restaurant is selling my cards believe it or not because we are good friends with the owners. I am doing well there as well. I am currently drawing giraffes. I do have 2 other pictures of giraffes and they always sell well so I decided to draw a big picture with many giraffes doing different things. I am going to be in a reptile expo in June of next year that has up to 15,000 people going to it and the person who puts it on is the one that is obsessed with my art and gave me a booth for free. They are normally $200. It is in Seattle. I live about 90 minutes to 2 hours away from there. Next year I hope to push my art in vets, pet stores, casinos, and gift stores. I do have one of the biggest selection of animals out there (around 400 designs) most artists have about 20 or so pictures it seems like. I have been going on different artists websites and they hardly have the selection that I do. I have to draw more. Someone said that likes my art and others said I need to draw weird things like a Buffalo and chickens. Even a spider! The thing that keeps me down though is Ventures. I didn't even receive any check this month. I hope I am not doing the worst out of everyone there. I think I am based on how my checks are lately. I know the owner said that cards are not doing anything. I hope I will do better with prints. I know if I say I was going to do anything that would be delusional. I said i was going to be in all these stores in 2009. I projected in 2009 that I would make $260,000 gross profit and actual profit was $2-3,000. I pray I am lucky this time around. Back then we didn't have any accounts on the Social Media sites. My mom does the marketing on the sites. I am going to be in several autism books next year on top of the ones I am in already. I am in 2 books in the US and 1 in Poland (even though I never been to Poland). That makes me an internationally known artist. So that is what is going on now.

+8

(((((hugs))))) to you, too. my message above could have been towards you as well. nobody came through that situation unscathed.

-10

Anyway, I'm done with the Haven. No need to let her possibly see stuff when it's not mutual, nor is it fair on me. I'll keep my own journal. Funnily, my mother thinks it's cruel for her to just vanish and do what she did; blood, water, and all that.

ironic, no?

He sees the irony in it, don't worry.

Quite. Though, I like to think I disappeared due to in part by selfless reasons (I didn't want to, and I did it all for her; a twisted form of selflessness that hurt someone), not just selfish (I don't think there was any selfish reason there, come to think of it). To add, I'm well aware of cause and effect, and that above takes no blame from me; I'm fully responsible for what I did.

But, that's a dry creek bed under a broken bridge now.

I'll walk around bridges from now on, it's much safer, as the road doesn't break the same, nor does it only give you two paths to choose.

+4 glad i"m am home.

-10. this was stupid

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jq9TnI7ssTU[/youtube]
CHEESE FOR EVERYONE
+7

Your mother is right.

-0

-7

-7.

I feel alone. I am alone, and it's late. I'm tired, but I drank too much caffeine tonight, so I can't really sleep at the moment. Most of all, I just wish that I could talk to someone about how lonely I feel, but all of my friends are asleep. My family members would go crazy and tell me to "stop being inconsolable" if I brought up my troubles. Actually, that would be their normal reaction during the day; since it's really early in the morning here, it'd be worse.

-8, since I haven't recovered from my meltdown yet.