Verbal Communications Differences and Difficulties Sticky

Post Reply New Topic

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ohg5qboHg10[/youtube]

Important to be cognizant that differences in communication (from the Autistic world to the NT realm) abound; a hallmark of Autism that can be unduly confining and is autonomous of 'level of functioning.' This video (Lab Pet likes) elucidates those difficulties that are common to all on the Autistic Spectrum but may manifest in different ways.

Although I'm 'high functioning' and in the isolated sciences communication, to convey ideas amongst others, is critical to understanding and learning. Maybe this forum can progress to meet the needs of all ASD individuals, where ever they are at communication, from entirely NV to 'chatty' (you know who you are....). That's why I like this video clip.

Hence, to invite all Wrong Planet Autists to NV Silent Forum at whatever degree their communication connundrum is manifested.

Thank you all - bye for now (or a while).

The most aspect I can relate myself to autism is my silence , thank you for your unique topic on this forum , which I read it and my face became wet with tears, being quiet and mute is my everyday struggle with my life having a very poor communication is going to make me a mad, every where I have been at university, parties, school,… I was the most quiet person, I reached to this point I was the only different (autism) person in my territory, that make me hate of every one ,every thing. For example at my work today, an event happened all the co-workers told their idea about it very clearly and openly and talked about their memories even one of them told my experience instead of me I wanted to say I “have a lot of things to say “ but I didn’t have , just the island of silence was with me. it really irritates me, how they can easily and intuitively express everything with even no trying. I think the link between my brain and tongue is torn. So no order can receive by my tongue and I stay mute, I am really tired of every day dealing with it, I actually so embracing to go my work tomorrow , I have 3 choices 1-sucide: to get rid of my tough past, vaguely future 2- not having any contact with NT( it means every one because I haven’t seen any auti person in my whole life).3-continue my absurd suffering life.
I prefer the first the best answer to life.

Just discovered this thread... illuminating my chatty world. Thanks!

Is it tacky to say I sometimes wish I was NV? I just blew it again, having very verbal meltdown and putting my foot in my mouth big time... again.
I'd be ordained by now if it wasn't for my words!! !

Again, enjoying the different perspective and courage...

Hello, welcome to this thread, I hope you like it here.

I could relate to everything you said. For me, the frustration comes not from an inability to join in conversations, because sometimes I can participate given enough time to respond and permission to contribute in a format such as written English. What is frustrating is the pervasive notion that because someone does not say anything with speech it must mean they have nothing to contribute at all. This is untrue. People always seem surprised that I can write in sentences, as though being mute involves having a mind void of words. They do not wait for me to contribute because it is supposed that I have nothing to say, and writing and drawing seems to be considered inferior and not worth waiting for. I tend to rely on pre-written statements a lot, when I want to indicate which drink I would like to have, or that I am going to the toilet, etc, just to keep up with the speed of conversation.

The worst one for me…“You’ve written it, so why can’t you say it?” Unfortunately if you can use a written version of a spoken language then your muteness is perceived as a choice regardless of whether you have medical ‘evidence’ of a neurological condition.

In response to the end of your post:

1 Suicide negates the sense of there being an ‘option’, I do not believe it is a choice any more than remaining silent is a choice. Please do not do this.

2 Not having any contact with NTs…I have some bad news for you...people in the autistic community can be just as cruel as NTs. I regularly (this is an optimistic use of the term ‘regularly’) go to social skills classes designed for people with autism, and the reaction I get from the people there with AS is very similar to the way NTs react to me. I do not know how to counter false beliefs about my interests and abilities when I am referred to as someone who ‘prefers to write than talk’. No, it is not a preference. I have to trust people not to misrepresent me in situations where it is difficult for me to enter into written dialogue. Mute: it is not a dirty word. Call it what it is. Do not define us by what we can not do, it is not a deficit. I think mutes ought to create a cultural identity with a capital M (Mute) like the Deaf community has done.

3 May I urge you to continue with your absurd and suffering life. You are in the company of friends now.

^ Very thoughtful post from ViatorRose. Welcome anahita and hope you're feeling better - in fact, you are articulate since you express well but maybe in another way.

Hi DonkeyBuster! And of course you fit right in too

Although Autists, even those who are chatty-Aspies (Lab Pet is Dx'd with AS too, a dual Dx actually) have very real communication differences and can struggle with interactions as a result. I'm meltdown prone as well and this sensory phenomena can render me entirely uncommunicative - that's like screaming for needed help in a vacuum. Regardless of the 'why' there is that struggle or dichotomy with being Mute (or partially Mute). I like ViatorRose's idea that Mute should be with a capital 'M' just how the Deaf community uses a capital 'D.'

Personally, I think Autism is a captial 'A!'

Lab Pet is not active on the Wrong Planet for the time being - my rigorous academic program means I must allocate my time (pursing that PhD and research is time consuming, but my passion too).

Not to be intrusive (I think we're all friends here though): Do hope KingdomOfRats is doing all right; I noticed she hasn't posted since last July. Age1600: I know you've had a struggle too; hope you're doing ok. If either of you are reading, 'Hi' from the Lab Pet! And miss you.

Just a thought question, may be a spurious observation, but I suspect, just from readings (other clues) that those who are NV, to whatever degree NV (or Mute), may be also more prone to the Autistic trait of inconsolable crying. I truly do not have a full-range of emotions, but I do feel! There's a difference. But I can/do cry and often with no control - this can be limiting not to mention embarrassing.

anahita: Sorry you've been crying and I know that hurts, but also may be correlated (unknown) with that you are NV; meaning at a neurological level.

I'm very quiet , I often wonder how much of my quiet-ness and difficulty in taking part in group conversations is shyness I can improve and autism quiet-ness I have to accept. I think my inability to join in with big group talks is not shyness but inability to process lots of people talking at once and gaps in diffrent peoples speech. I am louder with less people and people i know or feel comfortable with. I can strain for a while to be loud and entertain a group, but it tires me. I identified with some mute autistic people i have met, although i am far more less affected in speech than them. I oftenhave felt conflicted in the past as i didnt relate to the asperger description of loud, talking to people about interests like a teacher. I used to go on about my interests as a child, to my parents and teachers i felt safe with, but they let me know when it was to OTT and i then felt embaressed. So i think i had the awareness to stamp it out of myself and stop. But im always quiet with big groups and new people. I have improved my outgoing-ness with joining new groups and starting conversations with strangers there.

Those cats are the cutest most adorable thing I've ever seen.

I'm really frustrated. I've been trying different search combinations for DANA. I don't know if it's a device or what it is for communication but I'd really like to know more about it. If anyone can let me know as soon as you can how to find something like this I would really appreciate it.

Thank you

Meadow: I know! DANA, a writing / communication device, is by 'alphasmart.' Google alphasmart & you'll see their products. Personally, I use a NEO which is quite similar. NEO (& DANA) run on batteries - NEO has far better battery life but DANA has more features.

Each of these, by alphasmart, has an infrared beam so you may instantly access your PC or another DANA/NEO if you wish. And a USB port for your printer. Both are EASY to operate and quite rugged (I've dropped mine and it's OK)!

Also - keep your receipt! My NEO costs ~ $130ish - so worth it! You can get a Text-to-Speech add on if you wish too. But your receipt is likely tax deductible as a medical expense. Apparently some med insurance will cover (mine did not; I'm a grad student at University & don't have much coverage). But it's tax deductible.

I think you'll really like a NEO or DANA - check out alphasmart. I know a medical doctor (Neurotypical) who loves NEO since he says he can jot notes with ease - I use mine for University to take notes too.

Apologies, looks as Wrong Plant is having 'high-traffic' and I lost contact! Meadow - I love those talking cats too
They seem to have their own language, don't they?

Anyway, I miss my cat, Tesla, more than anything.......<tears>
When I moved in late Oct (within my town here) I had to give away my Tesla since the new Apt. doesn't allow pets - I miss him so much.

Today is Christmas and I cried for Tesla. His birthday is Dec 29th too. During the night I woke up crying for Tesla.

The good part is that my friend, from upstairs lab, did get to adopt Tesla so I know he's safe & happy. But I miss my friend, and maybe especially right now.

Oh LabPet, I know how hard this is. I know the pain. This exact scenario happened to me in my early twenties, I had two kitties, and was still grieving for them two decades later. One of them a friend took and I went to visit her and soon after that visit she disappeared. I'm sure she went looking for me as she was all around my neck. It grieves me so to remember it but just want to say I know what you're going through. If you can visit it might be good for you both but if you do ask your friend to keep her in if she goes outside so she doesn't try to go looking for you. It's such a heartbreak and so unfair. Oh, I'm so sorry this happened for you. We really need our pets. I couldn't live without mine. I will never again live somewhere where they won't allow pets. I'm sure you had no option as I didn't in the early situation either. My heart just breaks for you right now.

Thank you so much for the information. I will do some googling and take a look. I saw a device after I posted last night when I took out NANA from the criteria and began to think maybe it wouldn't work anyway. People are impatient or in a hurry and I don't imagine they will be any less patient as it would take even longer using a device, though they might be less confused in the long run and understand better but I'm hesitant for some reason as I've been coping the way I have for so long. It appears people either think I'm of low intelligence and/or even crazy by the looks I get when I try to speak. It isn't fun. I'm kind of slow to work out what I need to say in a given situation and people generally don't have time for it. I think it will be a worthy device but I'm afraid of appearing even more handicapped I guess. I otherwise look and appear intelligent. The problem is only when I open my mouth and if I can just avoid that I tend to do okay. I think it may be useful though in the long run.

Thank you so much for this information. It is very helpful.

I'm sending you much comfort and love *hugs*

I miss my kitties too. I may start a catspam thread.

I find it difficult to talk on the bad days when my crappy mental health exaserbates everything. I'm going to learn sign language just so I can communicate at least a little bit on those days and the days I'm just not comfortable talking. I feel much more at ease with non verbal communication in general anyway and if I didn't have to speak, I probably wouldn't

I've been having a meltdown since last night, literally screaming at the top of my lungs, my neighbors have probably heard me and today I'm incredibly depressed and hopeless. I'm just so tired of how hard it is with communication. I'm considering giving it up altogether. It is the main source of hell and frustration for me. Trying to talk as well as listening, particularly on the telephone is actually painful. How am I supposed to survive out here and do what I need to be able to do for g sake! I'm tired of crying I cry all the time and have wrinkles under my eyes because of so many years of it. I feel trapped. I don't want this. I have amazing technical skills artistically but I am stuck. I could make a fortune and maybe will but how to get there. I'm tired, burned out. I don't have the same interests in life anymore. I haven't had any help, only interference. I don't care anymore. I honestly don't. It's too much work and my spirit is already broken. I can't do it alone. It isn't worth anything to go through all this. I would like to give up. I don't honestly know how I keep going sometimes. I've lost interest in everything. My spirit has been broken.