Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

Post Reply New Topic

dear me,
i know you're not doing the right course at uni and i know you're sabotaging yourself academically because you hate it so much. you were weak when you let your dad pressure you into it and i hate you for that so much. you shame me.
from me.

Dear random redneck in parking lot,

Go ahead and run me over next time. I could use a few thousand bucks in the bank. Oh, I can read lips, and i'm not going to even dignify that with a response because your simple brain could probably not understand it.

The random guy that you seem to think is invisible.

Dear whoever you are,

I found this online and though you might find it handy. Important parts in bold.

dear ex best friend.

i think it's better this way.
and it makes me sad even though you betrayed in the worst way possible, i'll still miss you for a long while.
i hope one day you'll be a better person, like you always said you wanted.
i think we both have to be strong.

Dear Christine:

I say I love you, and I mean it. But sometimes love means being able to let someone go. I need to focus on my life and just be myself. I keep trying to convince myself that you are the one, but it's not fair to you that I try to make you my only hope for a normal life. You aren't me, and it's not good to think of you that way. After all, you are one of the strongest people I've ever met, so every time I wonder how you are doing, I always remind myself that you will be fine. So who exactly am I worried about here? That's why I need to just be me, and let all that other stuff come naturally. I love you, and I always will, but I'm not in love with you. There is a difference, and although I've crossed that line a couple times, it was a mistake, and I'm sorry I bothered you. I know you just want me to be happy the same way I want you to be happy. So I'm going to do just that.

Love, Matt.

Dear Naomi,

I know I really hurt you and implied that you didn't care about me, but the past few months you've been the best friend I could've hoped for. I really need you to stay in my life, because I don't know how long I would last without you. And, well, if you've decided you hate me and the last wish you'll share with me is a desire to see me dead, I'll oblige you, and be glad for it.

Dear ``,

I love you. Just because I suck at saying it the way it's supposed to be said doesn't mean I don't.

Dear asperger's syndrome,

Go f**k yourself.

To the ones it concerns,

Thanks for making my life hell in the past, but I've got over it now, much stronger than I was before, and I've got over you too, so you haven't won, I have.

Dear _______

I'm sorry about the problems I've had, and the misery that they've caused you. I promise to try my best in working with a clinical psychologist. You're just unbelievably kind to me, and I desperately want to sort myself out and make our lives easier.

I love you,

crouton

Dear mom,

Please slow down for a minute! I really need to talk with you at some point! Very very soon actually. And I'm very afraid of how you're going to react. Please don't make me have to write another letter like this because you didn't believe in me or trust me to know myself better than you do. Because you know what? I do know myself better than you know me.

I know that I should have spoken up for myself better all of those times I was bullied and laughed at. And I should have spoken up to you too. I never wanted you to know how bad things really were because I didn't know what would happen. I didn't want you to know just how awful having to go to school was for me. I didn't want you to know how set apart I was from the other students, how I didn't have a single friend until I made it to high school, and even then they were the worst people I could've chosen to befriend.

I didn't want you to know that I used to make things up when you would ask me what I did during the day and who I hung out with. I never told you about the first boy I liked. Why? Because he found out and wrote me a freaking "love letter" and then got all of his friends to watch when I made a complete ass out of myself at a dance. You don't know about the English teacher I had who used to make us give presentations and who would keep interrupting me over and over everytime: "Look at your audience! Speak up! Stop pausing so much when you speak! Why aren't you saying anything???" while everyone laughed at me.

I never told you that I hated and skipped my Algebra 2 class so much because the teacher would stand in the front of the room and watch and do nothing while the other students threw things at me, came up with as many insults as possible, and made up nasty rumors about me. In all of my years in school I got many bruises you never saw (physical and emotional), I was pushed down steps, spit on, laughed at, gossiped about, used, and humiliated...by students and by teachers. I could go on and on forever here.

Do you know what it's like to have no friends on your side everyday? To try so hard to be liked and be rejected by everyone? For the most part, from age 5 to 18, I've felt very much alone.

You may not know any of those things. But you knew enough. You listened outside my bedroom door while I cried, tried to give me advice, tried to help me keep going, you went and spoke to teachers many many times. But you still don't know it all. If there is one thing I do know, it's that for every tear I cried, you probably cried three because you didn't know how to help me. The walls in this house are thin.

Now those school days are over. I made it to college. Wasn't that the goal? I'm not successful in everything, but I'm doing well enough. Somehow though, even on a campus of 4000 people, I still don't know how to make friends like everyone else. I'm not completely alone anymore, but the people I have around me, I don't think they are people I can confide in. I think I still need that to be you, just for a little longer.

Believe me this time. Just please. If you don't I don't know what to do.

Love always (even when it doesn't show),
Me

To the idiots who wasted so much time and energy trying to make me miserable:

I just want to say this:

You lost.

You didn't destroy me. You didn't make me less than you are. The bruises you gave me WILL heal.

Chances are you'll all be bullies your whole lives. You'll be the mean ones: the abusers and users and the lost. This doesn't stop me from hoping that you one day feel regret for all of the things you did so meanly and thoughtlessly.

I'm a firm believer in "what goes around comes around" and I hope that when it comes back around you get kicked in the ass. I hope it's so painful and so awful that it takes you to a point only just less than you can bear. Why? Because you deserve to suffer in turn for all of the suffering you caused myself and others.

It's unbelieveable to me that you put so much energy into causing others pain.

I just want to know: Why did you do it? How? Did you feel anything at all? Any shame? Or guilt?

No apology will do. Not ever.

I hope you pay, I hope you hurt:

-The one who never fought back

For a very dear person:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qa5nUD0k9XQ&feature=related[/youtube]

Dear Random People in Portland,

Go take a shower and do your laundry.

Why must you smell like very bad BO, of which you have?

Buy some deodorant while you're at it.

Signed,
Random Portlander

PS: Go f**k yourselves if you don't think having bad BO is wrong.

Dear Dad

I'm going away to college soon, so I guess I'll say goodbye. It's kind of sad that I can't bring myself to tell you this in person, and that I'm only writing it because I know you'll never read it.
I wanted to thank you for all the wonderful childhood memories. Did you know that I can't remember a single time when you made me laugh or smile? I remember cowering in my room, crying, as you raged at my mother, my brothers, and I. You yelled everytime stuttered or didn't look you in the eye, which was often. Every time I did something 'wrong' I was punished. Maybe you didn't see it that way, but the damage has been done. Do you know that I have almost no self esteem? That I can't bring myself to speak in class? It's because when I was little it was imprinted in my mind that being wrong would lead to your anger.

Do you remember last fall when I ran my first cross country race after being injured? It wasn't my best time, but I was happy because it was a really good time, considering how long it had been since I'd last trained. But in the car on the way home you told me you knew my time was bad and that if maybe I tried a little harder I might actually be good. I wasn't ashamed of my race, not until you told me that.

Did you know that you are the reason that I want to go to college out of state? Because you are. My brothers are grown up and gone, and mom will never leave you. So I'm going to leave. As soon as I have enough money for an apartment, I'm never coming home. It might seem cowardly, running away, but I'm tired of trying to protect mom. I've tried to do every thing right, but it isn't enough for you. It's called self-preservation. I'm done with you.

From your daughter

Dear Mom

Yes, I'm writing to you to. It's not what you did, it's what you didn't do. First of all, you put up with that bastard you call a husband. Not once did you stand up for your children. You just go along with him, no matter how much he hurts us. You said you were trying to make everyone happy, but you were only making yourself miserable, not to mention us kids.

Now I'm not sure about the details of this, mainly because you won't talk about it, but you were the one I went to. When I realized I might have Asperger's Syndrome the last thing I expected was for you to tell I had been under observation from kindergarten through elementary school. You never told me. You never even got me an official diagnosis. One thing you know about me is that I will only talk to you if its an emergency and I really need someone. Three times. Three times during the course of six months I tried to talk to you about it. I wanted to know the details of what was 'wrong' with me. You changed the subject and completely blew me off. Why didn't you get a diagnosis? Were you ashamed of having a child on the autism spectrum? I don't know. I just don't know. When I was younger I looked up to you. Now I see you as the weak, pathetic, naive woman you are.

From, your daughter

Dear P******

Let me tell you a story. I wonder if you remember it like I do. We met in the last month of eighth grade, on the busride to Washington DC. I played mariokarts with you. I didn't meet you face to face until a week or so later at lunch. I didn't see you again until that day at the movies when M asked me out. A week later at his beach house you were with us. It's funny, when I first meet a person I know instantly if I like them or not. I liked you. You made me laugh, and at the beach house I was happier than I should have been to get your phone number. But whatever, I was dating your best friend.

School started. Freshman year. Homeroom. I hated everyone in that class. Then you walked in. There'd been a problem with your schedule, and they'd transferred you to my homeroom. I was happy. M and I broke up after a relationship that wasn't a relationship. You were my friend freshman year. Sophomore year I toyed with the idea of having you as more than a friend, but I pushed the thought out of my head.

It was at the birthday party at the end of the year that I realized I liked you a lot more that just friends. We never talked over the summer. At the beginning of this year, I thought maybe you felt the same way. It seemed like that at first, but it didn't last. I spent the entire winter trying to figure out why we weren't talking as much as we used to. I blamed myself and my sh***y social skills.

It was one month ago, maybe a little more. I think it started with our conversation about particle physics. For a few weeks it seemed like you might feel the same way about me. I guess not. You're going back to being distant. I just wanted to say I don't care. My feelings probably won't change, but I'm still hoping yours will. I just want us to stay friends, at least. When I talk to you I feel like I can be myself, like it doesn't matter so much that I have Asperger's. After all, with who else will you spend an entire period discussing particle accelerators? Please talk to me. You're one of the only good things left in my life.

From me

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6bARIaMhCM[/youtube]