Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear you,

I know that you've been through a couple of stressful weeks, but you don't have to swear anymore. You have a role model who doesn't swear.

Mick

Dear You,



Sincerely,

Me

Dear you,

I love you. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I love you. And believe it or not, we're in the same boat. I hope you love me too.
Now ask me to homecoming because if you don't, I'll have to go with my friends.

Sincerely,
Me

Dear Object Of My Infatuation,

I want you the right way
I want you
But I want you to want me too
I want you to want me, baby
Just like I want you

I give you all the love
I want in return sweet darlin'
But half a love is all I feel
It's too bad, it's just too sad
You don't want me now
But I'm gonna change your mind
Some way, somehow, oh baby

I want you the right way
I want you
But I want you to want me too
I want you to want me, baby
Just like I want you

This one way love is just a fantasy, oh sugar
To share is precious, pure and fair
Don't play with something you should cherish for life, oh baby
Don't you wanna care
Ain't it lonely out there?

I want you the right way
I want you
But I want you to want me too
I want you to get down, baby
When I get down with you

I want to get down, baby
Listen, precious
I want you for all time
All I want is you
...Oh baby

I want you the right way, baby,
I want you, babe
But I want you to want me too, babe
Got to, got to, got to
Love me sugar, oh the way that I love you

From the guy who admired you from afar.. I miss you deeply..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmZ03Q7AoaU[/youtube]

Dear Family,

I love you all dearly, but please! One of these days you've got to stop shouting me down and allow me to have an opinion... I'm not stupid, ret*d or a freak, just because I have an opposing view from you.

You cannot keep using my diagnosis as a reason for making me look stupid in front of my friends (and you wonder why I've stopped socializing with them if you're following me). At this rate, if you continue humiliating me, I'll have no friends left by the time the 16 year old comes up to the Young Single Adult group at church... and you wonder why I'm so terrified of being in YSA with him in two years, if that happens maybe I'll just not show up to Institute and Family Home Evening so that I can't lose my friends by having them shown what I'm (apparently) really like. The only way I can get out of YSA by the time he gets there is to get married... but then again, if I lose my friends, no wonder I always lose my boyfriends,

but oh yeah, I'm a ret*d, stupid freak....

Sorry, I forgot about that bit... Now just get a life and leave me ALONE!! !

dear you,

i'm not the person i was 3 days ago, 3 weeks ago, or 3 months ago. you're right there with me, holding my hand in some virtual way while i shine a torch in the dark corners of my inner self. your acceptance and support is inspiring me to try to be a better person than i ever thought was possible. i am honoured to know you.

from,
me

p.s. <! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

How do I delete my posts???

I just want to know so that I dont have to "edit" them and put a random message like I have done here....

thanks...

there isn't any way to delete it after someone has posted after you, and after about a week you cannot edit it either. your best best is to edit it and put something like this in there:

-deleted-

or

.....

(that's what most people do). it's not uncommon to change your mind after posting.

Dear ________,
She has kept your identity secret, but never mind, I'm 99% sure that you're a girl too. If what I posted online had offended you, then give me a call to ask me for an explanation. How dare you called her up to b***h about what I posted online. If you didn't want me to post your remarks online, you shouldn't have made those remarks in the first place. Thanks God most netizens probably don't know who we are.

Just for clarity: This is a reply to my old bf's letter that he thought I am better off without him. I know that no matter what I say, he will never really love me because he has no emotions, or very little. He also drinks and thinks that I would find this repulsive. He has never done so around me. I realize he finds himself repulsive. But I think he is wonderful. If only he could see himself through my eyes. But I guess you need empathy to do that and he doesn't respect my opinion.

I am absolutely sure you don't understand.

I don't need a man to be happy. But it would be nice to have one.

I don't think you are too nice. I have seen your "bad" side.

I love when you are nice. I love everything about you.

I was willing to wait for the nice side to emerge.

I wish you had tried to get to know me.

I wish you had let me get to know you.

What did we have to lose? We lost it anyway.

I had to leave because I love you and I can't get over you.

Being friends with you was torture for me.

I can't be near you without wanting you.

I would have done anything to be with you.

Do you have any idea how much it hurts to know the one you love,

the one you miss, doesn't care if you come or go?

So it really doesn't matter does it?

I wish you had allowed me to be the judge of whether or not I would be better off.

Neither of us will ever know this way.

Dearest former wife,

Why didn't you understand my angry email was a cry for help? I was alone, working on the other side of the country and very depressed, why didn't you see that?

Did you really love me?

Dear 16-year-old me,

You have every right to be angry, disappointed and resentful. You were given a glimpse of a beautiful life that couldn't last. You were shown what life could be like for independent people who love the things you love. And then you were dragged back to the ordinary life you've been struggling so hard to leave behind.
I can see that you've still not made up your mind as to what exactly it is that you want from life. Things are going to get unpleasant, and sometimes you're going to feel as if there weren't a chance to sit and think and make the good choice. Some bad choices are awaiting ahead. Some of them are going to hurt, for a long time.
The wonderful people you have met are still going to be there, but they have their own lives to live. Not all of them will be available to you at any time. Yes, you will very often feel completely alone, even living in a family that at times seems to have too many people in it.
You will have jobs you won't like. You will meet friends you wish you hadn't. You will be pushed very hard in directions you loathe to go. You will feel like you peaked at 15 and life has nothing good to show you anymore. Being honest, there will be times when you will feel like giving up for good.
Yet I'm here. I'm writing you this letter from a future when you live in the city you love, when you do the things you like to do, when you are respected for doing the things you excel at. I'm not writing you this letter because this is a good moment for us. I could be writing you this letter from any other future, but this is the one we've built, and this is the only one you'll have. You are confused, bruised and mad at the world, but you still know clearly which things matter to you. And I always knew you wouldn't lose sight of them. While I was living those dreadful years, I always reminded myself of what really mattered. And I want to thank you for your sincerity to yourself.
Dear past me: the years ahead are going to be tough. And I'm not writing you this letter to cheer you up or to give you any hope. You know we've never been like that. I'm writing you this letter to thank you because, even while doing the very unpleasant and burdensome things life forced you to do, you still were you. Now you are me, and that's what lets me honor the promise I made to myself, that all the pain would be irrelevant. Today the pain is still not over. But now it doesn't weigh on my shoulders as it used to. Today my life is mine.
Hang on. Interesting things are coming your way.

Love,

The man nobody can keep you from becoming

dear you.
Thank you for sheading a spotlight on who i really am and making me realise my unusualness isnt so unusual after all. You have made me feel like i can accept who i am. I now am begining to understand myself. Remember i really do love you, and yes you're real to me where so many others have been not.
I will wait an eternity or more for you to be ready to be with me. <3

Though no thank you to all the people who don't believe me when i say i am what i am.
No thanks for all the put downs... the depression, its cause of you.
I hate you, and for me its hard to hate.
I am what i am, but of course you'd never understand. I have to be normal for you... unfortuantly i never will be because I am not neurotyical like you..... WHy must you be so ignorant?
You call me 'Immature and Childish'and that i need to 'Grow Up'
But yet you are the immature n childish one because you cannot accept that i am diffrent from you..
And you take my son off me because you think i am not a fit parents... I have aspergers and you don't believe me.
Sure i cannot handle stress very well and yet your not willing to even help me.
I was made to fail from the start with you... you trapped me n took him from you, u ignorant baffoon...

ACCEPT IT ILL NEVER BE NORMAL LIKE YOU....

Family: Why can't you just accept it too... all i ever feel like in your eyes is a failure, a person who never make it on their own, and yet you do not give me any real encouragement. I am spoken down to like i am stupid.
all of a sudden i am being yelled at for no reason, and no one will tell me what i have done wrong to even deserve to be yelled at.
Why can't you all just give me a break...
Like ill get my drivers licence when i am good and ready to!!
Driving is hard for me at any normal given time and yet you're trying to rush me.. it doesnt help.
I really cannot take this, and it is making me depressed agian i just want to run away.

but no one in my family understands how this aspie thinks.... acts etc... I just really need a break... everyone get off my back and just accept i have aspergers n that i am different from you neurotypical ignoranuses....

Kind Regards to the one I love, In love n waiting for you.

Pissed Regards to everyone freaking else...

You're not a bad person. It was my fault as much as anything, one i wasn't careful enough with something i should have been treating as priceless and two I put a lot of pressure on you because you couldn't see something that was so obvious to me. I forget about the fact that i've spent a lot of time in my life trying to get in touch with my intuitions, trying to understand my instincts. It sounds silly but i think a lifetime of playing every variation of game i could find, puzzle games, strategy games, etc etc, has given me quite a developed ability to make decisions and know what i think. To expect that from you was just wrong.

I don't see why you would think that would make me hate you though. I don't subscribe to the hate someone that rejects you theory of getting over someone. My reasons for liking you were because i liked you as a person and that could never change. The only thing i regret is that through making my feelings known you'll never be able to go back to treating me the way you treat every other person you interact with in your day. I just want what everyone else gets without any suspicion of my motives, i still really like you as a person and always will :/

Dear M,

I knew your friend was going to be at an event I was volunteering at, so I practiced for a week preparing to see her. It was a good thing I did. I stopped crying after about 4 days of practicing. The morning was going wonderfully. I even spoke to her. I was so proud of myself. I didn’t cry at all.

Then you walked by.

I hadn’t seen you for 5 long months. Crying and thinking of you every day has become a habit unfortunately. My heart sank, and I felt panicky. I hadn’t practiced for this. You looked at me, but I wasn’t prepared to see you. I looked away, and cowardly hid behind a friend.

I caught little glimpses of you throughout the day while trying to act like it didn’t matter to me whether you were there or not. I saw you playing your violin with your friend, and even heard a little bit before I had to walk away. I saw you walking away from me with your friend, and her gently rubbing your back the way friends sometimes do. Why are we always walking away from each other? I saw you standing to the side, looking away with your hair down. Then I saw you talking to a group of people with your friend.

I did see you, M! I knew you were there! I wanted to run to you. Throw my arms around neck.
Bury my face in your chest, and feel your strong arms around me. Smell your long dark hair as it brushed against my face tickling my nose. I wanted to feel helpless as you pulled me in close, tilt my head back and passionately kiss me. But none of that happened. I didn’t even cry.

At least not until you walked passed me with your friend. Got in your car, and drove away. You didn’t even look at me as you walked by. Did you look back at me, and I didn’t see? I wouldn’t know. My eyes were full of tears, and I couldn’t see anything let alone you driving away.

I think I did too good a job of hiding the fact that I still love you. My heart stopped each time I looked at you. I’ve been crying pretty steady now for the last several days. It’s been wonderful for my sinuses, but my eyes are red and swollen, and I’m afraid I’m not hungry again. I guess I’ll lose another 20 pounds before I can get to the point where I was before. Is it going to take another 5 months? I know I’ll see you before then. Hopefully I won’t see you with someone else. I’m afraid that would kill me.

I still keep second guessing my decision of breaking up with you. Did I see things wrong? Our mutual friends have been telling me that you aren’t the right guy for me. Another friend even called you a man-whore since you have so many women. Do you have a lot of women? It looked like you did. That’s why I left. I had to protect my heart. I didn’t know that not being with you would break it into so many small pieces it would be difficult to put back together. I’ve always hated puzzles.

I told myself I wouldn’t write any more sad songs about you. So I’m writing this instead. You’ll never read it, but I had to write it for myself. I’ll put it away somewhere and find it hopefully when I’m over you. If not, I guess I just cry some more.

I do love you, M. I don’t know why, but I do. But then again, I do know why. But at this point it doesn’t matter. Does it? Just remember I did see you. It did hurt, and still does.

I miss you so much! L

PS: I can't believe I saw you 6 days later, but you were with someone else. I sat in my car as you walked by with her and watched you both walk away and disappear down the street. I turned the other way so I couldn't see you with her again.
I was numb driving home.

I don't know if this is to myself or to someone else or something else,

All I need to say is I must get through tomorrow morning,get through the seminar without stumbling over my words like loose paving stones, without shaking without attracting everyones elses fear that makes the atmosphere tense. I have to be bright, confident and knowledgable and smile, I need to be the person I know I can be and not let my fear get in the way of doing my best.

I know I write as though I am going to a battle and in some ways it is a battle against fear and comfort, the comfort of not pushing myself of letting others be proven right instead of me. I might be deluded but I feel that this is my chance to prove to myself I can do this, there will never be a better chance for this after this it will count for too much in academic or professional terms and the people will be less familar less kind less accustomed.


I need to be able to do this on so many levels.

To my friends,
please don't sell you're panic everyonehas their own
Me