scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-8. I've been sick for a week, all my kids are hacking, and my 5-year-old came home from school yesterday with swollen gums and loose teeth. I do everything-- 2 of the three girls have perfect teeth other than one chip and a hell of an overbite (the other one just cut her first tooth) and I take the same care of all of them, so it's not that I'm not keeping him clean. Brush, floss, deny candy, deny snacks, flouride rinse, I have put $3000 dollars into that kid's mouth (and that's just the insurance co-pays-- it would be like $15,000 if it had all been out of pocket). He's got spacers and caps and root canals and everything else. I have slaved over that kid's mouth and his teeth are still awful.

He lies habitually-- not maliciously but he will say anything if he thinks it's what you want to hear. He cannot, will not, just say what happened and stick to it, but changes his story 67 times trying to hit on what he thinks will make who-ever he's talking to happy.

He cries every time you look at him cross-eyed. You'd think I beat him with a garden hose. I don't.

I dream every night about all the people I care about ganging up on me about all my faults and everything I've ever messed up. I woke up this morning screaming, "Please don't hurt me, I'm not bad, I'M NOT EVIL!!" My husband is so sick of dealing with me that all he can come up with is, "You're going to end up back in the nuthouse with that attitude."

The harder I work, the messier my house gets. I try and try and try and try and all I get is crooked pictures, sloppy shelves, lousy food, cat vomit, dog piss, spilled trash cans and forgotten garbage days, and a sink full of dirty dishes.

I'm sick of this. I really, really want to know how NTs manage to keep houses that look like they were clipped out of magazines, shuttle all their kids to various activities which they watch with perfect smiles on their faces and praise appropriately, turn in perfect homework, never have behavior issues, serve delicious healthy meals with the veggies arranged in little smiley faces, and everything else they do...

...and still find time to entertain friends and hold down successful careers.

I am, basically, sick and tired of being a f**k-up and a failure. I'm sick of seeing myself in the mirror.

-1 very tired

+1

+4 right now, perhaps slightly less from an objective point of view but I find if you believe you can reach a certain level of happiness, you're more likely to

_________________
A smile costs nothing

Trying to keep it at a + 1 but some people are f***ing a**holes. , a big sarcastic smile works for this post.

+5

+2

-7

my crush hates me now
still hate my job and my life
at least winter seems to end in my area

-1. Everyone was so nice to me, but I still feel brittle, sad, and on the fence.

-1 simply wandering if some things do get better over time..

-10

I hate humanity.

-7 and dropping...

..the sadness I've come to refer to as, "The Beast" is rising up to the surface again... oh what I wouldn't give to have my family intact again.

...over 3 years of the "love tank" running on empty has taken its toll. My healthy body has become flabby and weak... my alert mind, dull.

My sweet wife... our love poisoned by a so-called friend, a treacherous mother-in-law, and two horrible events that allowed their rotten seeds to take root and grow into irrational fear and mistrust.

How glorious it would be to wake up beside my loving wife and our boys come in the room and jump in with us... my heart breaks for the wonderful moments we once had - lost for the most ridiculous reasons and outside influences.

-8

+1

-1

I'm at a 0