scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-10

I wish I was dead. I just have nothing to live for, anymore. :/ My thread about this was deleted, though..... whatever. -_- Better not speak of the details of it... so, I guess I will just have to hold it in... -_- fun fun.

+7

Convinced yet another college-aged person to leave the church today. That makes 27 in the last four years.

I'm on a roll!

+1

-3. Scared and depressed at the same time. I showed one of my workmates my letter today to see if she can give me any feedback on it's presentation/wording/convincingness. Wish my future wasn't in other people's hands all the time.

+1

-10

I don't know whats going on anymore.

+1

+4 feeling halfway human I've been stuck inside way too long...

I don't know.

+6

Sold some stuff very high, bought some stuff very low... finances are safe. YAY!

0 so good so bad so so is life

-2. Workmate likes my letter and is happy that I wrote it. I'll give it to the partners late tomorrow afternoon so they can think about it while I'm working in the other office on Thursday. I'm worried they might find it intense or blunt or accusatory, maybe even manipulative (I'm always worried that I'm manipulating people). I'm worried they might fire me for rocking the boat, interrupting the "energy" of the office and hiding my feelings from them for so long.

I'm supposed to be studying too but I'm too tired and lethargic.

Three.

Would be a seven, but I have a story that need writing and I'm procrastinating too much ><

-3
Very ill and annoyed because I have less self-control when I'm in this state. I could have studied more this weekend, but my mind kept getting too tired after a short period of time and I needed to go back to WP. I also waste more time on household stuff like cooking when I'm sick because I become even more slow and not attentive than usual. I would normally be very anxious right now, but I'm feeling too sick to be anxious.

-3