scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Don't worry about something you don't need to pursue, the journey of life is about taking what resources you have now, as everyone else great has done; yes it's easier said than done as we don't have that kind of mental fortitude, but look into the good times you've had and understand that you can replicate...Keep up your diet and healthy habits; the misery of failure is harsher than pain of hard work...as I'm sure you've experienced


also what do mean wasted youth, you're 19 man.


also if -10 is deep depression, then I'd be a -6, but this song is making me...probably a 2, which is OK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vE6KJ1ShSZI

-8 give or take...

another night of pure night terrors. Don't feel like I slept a wink - which is probably pretty accurate...

Stress through the roof - can't think my way through the simplest of problems... Noticed truck was low on oil yesterday... Took me over an hour to resolve it (literally had the oil in the truck, took that long to get over the what's next, am I low on oil - how much, realize I've got 12L in the truck (that I've been cursing over being in the way for a month) - and add 2... Ffs!)

Stressed at possibly giving up self employment and getting a real job again - which makes the ex win - which REALLY - pisses me off... So debating how/where/when to proceed, or if I can tough it out and get over her setting the business back almost a year - in the near future...

Had a stranger ask me yesterday if I was autistic at the mall - i was stimming up a storm apparently. Never realized I did that... So now about as self conscious about body movements as you can get...

/rant

-4 forgot to water my plants and one collapsed. i hope it will come around. i am having more and more difficulty keeping up with daily living.

Ok up to -6

Found the correct tree to bark up this morning apparently. Finally seemed to get some action... Probably end up regretting it in the end... But for now - it feels good.

I'll take my little victories as I can get them!! !

bored, seems like this site has been virtually completely dead for about an hour....

Lately, it's been a rollercoaster. So much s**t has been going on.

Trying to embrace this tidal storm of a ride of emotions has been equally frustrating and rewarding.

I'm sure a score will emerge (of a positive nature) as soon as I fully emerge the other side of such 'chaos'.

-2 everybody's sick, and plans are shot.

0..... uhhh threw a cup of water earlier, I was trying to tell my moms boyfriend he was making a lot of noise upstairs and it was giving me a headache downstairs and he got all defensive and then when I tried explaining I was not criticizing him from working on the door(he could have just said he had to move the step ladder and it made some noise) I would have understood if there wasnt a way to avoid that noise right then but he just got all mad right off for me mentioning it and told me 'tough sh*t' and I kinda lost it and threw a cup of water across the room in his direction....it was better than hitting him I guess. Though at one point when he kept being an ass i was in complete fight mode and had to remind myself I was not playing a game of mortal combat.... I don't know he just makes me so mad sometimes....I don't want to hate people ever but he really drives me through the wall(id say up the wall but through the wall seems more like the likely outcome).

I actually never know how I feel, so I base by score on the events of the day.

I've just got up after a really good solid 7 hour sleep, so theres 1 point.

My breakfast went down a treat, (I sometimes have trouble getting food down) That's another point.

So up to now I'm on a plus 2.

Oh I'll give myself another point just because it's Saturday and I finish work early.

+3 already and it's only 08:00 in the AM.

-2, I am actually quite depressed, thinking maybe I will just go to bed....see how I feel in the morning, just not the best day I suppose.

0.

Too tired to feel

-8. After 20 years of marriage I remain unable to put my feelings into words that my husband will not misinterpret. I tried to explain I was missing him while he's away on a business trip. He's now really p*ssed off with me for 'finding fault and having no empathy'. The saddest thing is I cannot work out what I did wrong, so will probably continue to make the same mistake. Sometimes I loathe having Asperger's Syndrome.

It is probably not all your fault. He may not be good at interpreting what people are telling him or have a low self-esteem and assumes the worst. There is a good chance the responsibility is 50-50.

Thank you for your positive and supportive comment JKT. My husband is now home and acting as if all is well. I'm feeling much better; especially as my youngest daughter (14) has just told me I'm 'the best Mum ever' (and I worry like mad about my parenting skills!). She says it's 'not one thing, but lots of little things, that all add up' that made her say that. When my own Mother has never been able to find something about me she likes and persists in describiing me as 'different', my daughter's praise means the world to me.

A teenager would not say those things if you were not an awesome parent. Also, she made a very insightful comment about little things that all add up. She is wise beyond her years.

-5. I just want to stay in this house 24/7. I know it wouldn't be good for me but let it happen.