scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-5 my dad won't leave me alone so I can't watch dirty stuff..

-2. The machinery that propels the world seems hypocritical and self serving. Serving self interest over all is framed as virtuous, and spin doctors spew us soothing discrepancies.

-3 due to my depression swinging in for the night, though I was at -7 a two hours ago.
(Fried Cheese Sticks made me feel a bit better, though I baked them...)

Flat 0. I'm satisfied but sleepy...

I can't figure out the appropriate number of how I feel now because it is such a mix of relief (I am glad to still be alive and that my brother is still alive) yet life is in such a muddle as we both recover from sudden and serious medical events which happened only 3 days apart. I collapsed in a supermarket carpark and was unconscious and fitting after a cardiac event. Fortunately people rushed to put me in the recovery position, did the immediate checks and get an ambulance urgently. I was very lucky that I was there and not home alone. (so relief over these good things). I was in hospital 2 days and no residual damage from a nasty episode of unstable angina. It really shakes you up though. The day after I was discharged my foster brother had a heart attack and he is still in critical care. He is stable today.

I won't be posting much for a while as I need to minimise all the stress that I can. PMs are welcome though and my "new" cat is now well domesticated (for the catlovers who were following the story of this mature stray cat I brought home five months ago). He is a terrific little guy to live with and love.

Wow, that is a really frightening experience, I hope you have a speedy, but chilled out recovery

double zero. My life seems to be well and truly falling apart at the moment, I won't go into detail but a lot people I care about have been going through alot of s**t. Factor in one of my fellas stupid friends talking s**t about me and blaming me for my fellas current health problems, so he can score himself some attention at the expense of my fella, I feel like punching someone or just escaping.

-1

1 I live my entire life searching for only one thing to feel happy and content with life yet at every turn I should take something new emerges and pushes me further away from it. Now I have given up my seemingly endless quest for it in the hope of not driving myself over the edge and further into the void of ill health. Without any direction or attachment I simply drift aimlessly until the time I should pass or with the ever slightest chance find something new to take meaning in. Overall not too bad for a one I suppose

-1 if some co employees would actually realise that I don't believe in being lazy..

-5 my friend ditched me, he was turning into an idiotic douchebag anyways..

3 or so, I've not been doing so well the past couple weeks. It started with my pilonidal cyst. Which led to an Emergency Room visit at 3:00 in the morning. Which led to me being cut into awake in a situation where they normally put the patient to sleep. Because the doctor was under the impression that me being an Aspergian made it so he could not put me under (despite the fact that i have been put under tonnes of t times. which lead to the doctor prescribing me an antibiotic. which led to me sleeping a lot and missing an essay for an English class. which led to me Stressing out more. Which in part led to me coming down with the flu. Which led to me throwing up a lot (which happens to me pretty easily when I was younger some of the medication i took destroyed my stomach and its lining. I vomit for essentially everything) Which led to my throat hurting. Which led to me sleeping some more. Which led to me missing more school. Which led me to getting more stress. Which allowed my pilonidal cyst to get reinfected while on anti-biotics. which led to me getting a different anti-biotic which some how caused me to get an ear infection that i did not notice until last night. Which ultimately resulted in me having another trip to the Emergency Room at 2 :00 in the morning on account of a sudden onset of excruciating pain. That caused me to not sleep. which caused me to miss more school. Which caused me more stress. Especially since I do not have school Friday, and Tuesday i leave for a school sponsored retreat. Which ultimately led to me loosing bladder control and urinating on my bed while I was asleep. (something which i have not done since i was four or five) Which led me to feel quite embarrassed. Which in turn caused more stress. Which in turn led me to deal with my problems by myself instead of asking my parents for help. Which in turn almost guarantees a urine stain on my mattress. Which caused me to wonder if I might have an underlying disease. which caused me to realize my sides hurt....

I know correlation does not prove causation. I just thought it would be fun to write that way regardless of rather or not there was an actual cause-effect link and considering the past couple of weeks i need as much fun as i can get

-5

-7

-2

1