scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Meh. Zero is too definite, and I don't want that kind of commitment.

2. I had a bad back spasm which brings me to zero. However, I took my prescribed Valium so that brings me up to a 2.

+4 I'm alright.

Sigh

+3 Feeling better. Just wish I could get a good night's sleep.

Meh, somewhere close to zero.

I feel zero

2 I feel terrible.

-3. Crabby, can't sleep, and trying to decide which job would suck less (it's pretty even).

Aloof

-6ish.

If I do all these things that, according to the gospel of the therapists' office, are supposed to be so f*****g healthy (like being honest about my thoughts and feelings, reaching out for help, not engaging in image-crafting, reaching out to people IRL in an open honest and authentic way, blah-blah-blah)...

...then why am I more miserable??

If these things are so all-fired great, why do they mostly get me castigated and cussed out??

And we wonder why people lie about their thoughts and feelings, try to avoid asking for help, engage in image crafting, and are not open honest or authentic with 'friends'.

Because the problem is that advice you get from a therapist, while technically very healthy, relies on the presumption that you are going to be interacting with other people who have solid mental health as a goal.

Which is almost never the case. Most people you interact with are directing most of their effort and energy at either ignoring or servicing their pathologies, not trying to actually deal with them in a way that reduces them with the long-term goal being to have minimal pathologies.

They want to "look better now" and "feel better fast" as opposed to actually BEING BETTER in the long analysis.

Well-intentioned mental health advice is useless. It's a dog-eat-dog world.

Lets put it at a range between -3 and -10 this last week or so. I can momentarily distract myself but there is just this sick feeling sitting in my chest that's always there, I am not happy with my life and I don't know if I have the ability to achieve any measure of happiness. It's tiring when nothing in your entire life ever goes the way you want it, it's harder yet doing it almost totally alone. I can't do this forever, things have to get better.

+5. I feel pretty content with things now.

-7

Please kill me. I am a fυcking loser.