scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-10 and +10 makes a 0 right? Hmm..

I'm BORED because I'm lacking the stress in life.
I lack the coping stress of an autistic, I lack the social stress of an NT.
I lack the stress against the environmental pollution, I lack of stress towards myself. I don't have a 'high standard' stress, nor had a stress of unfulfillment.

I'm not being negligent either, it's just things are becoming too easy. I wanna aim higher, but ah, what options do I have? I'm still inexperienced.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

-6

-4. I worked over eighty hours last week. Is it that hard to at least keep up with dishes when I'm gone?! !

-1000000

Losing reasons, I might win the battle but the war is hopeless.

-7 I feel like I'm a super ugly monster or something

0.

Typical mood everday plus angry that I can't go to school because Probation ruins everything.

-8
I feel trapped, I have no real freedom, I hate myself and people around me, I hate the house I just moved into (what the f**k was I thinking moving here!?), not to mention how the f****d up and stupid the world is...

-10

{Incoming Rant}

I see some of my so called friends out my window, I hope they kill themselves to be honest but alas I suppose I shouldn't think such things and I can tell its wrong but I need to put the emotion some where. I don't really hope they kill themselves, that would suck, but just the rage I feel about everything says they can. I know I am a horrible person and can f**k up any social situation but why tell someone you care if you don't? So I am horrible, then just f*****g leave. I don't know why they are here anyway, I guess my old church didn't tell enough people in my building that they are going to hell. Way to go pastor, you'll save the world yet with that s**t. Preach about your brothers drug dealing and your sisters whoring, thats going to attract so much attention for God and change so many people (sarcasm).

I think my ex pastor should write a book on how to turn peoples hearts to stone and away from God, last time I check God never condemned those beneath him. Why is this dude even preaching in a low income metropolitan area? Did he honestly expect anything different then a lot of broken people? Going in telling everyone how scummy they are ain't going to have the desired result, love changes people, condemnation reinforces the same behavior.

Sorry I just need to rant...

love changes people. amen.

Still negative, -2 damn

I am realizing how much worse of a horrible person I am, everyday there is some situation I am reminded of in which I could have handled better. But there is hope, I am with my family today so lets hope that goes well. Will post back with results but I can normally handle them in small dosages and even, dare I say, have fun around them. So long as my sister doesn't use me as game guide, I regret getting her into video games. Just because I have won everything does mean I want to tell other people how to.

So -2 now, but today can get some what better or a lot worse.

-5 wish I was attractive

8

So today was pleasant outside of my parents laying waste to my checking account

Still in context, its reasonable, its my dads Birthday.

-8