Alcohol and Substance Abuse Counselling Thread

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I think I'm going to try and stop drinking. I drink about half a 750ml bottle of whiskey a night. On a few occassions I've even drank the whole thing. I've gained so much weight from drinking, I feel like crap most of the time. I always tell myself that I'm not happy because of other things but I think its really because I don't like the way I feel from drinking. Here lately I've had a few sharp pains that come and go as they please and its right around where my kidneys are. I've even felt like someone stabbed me in the chest a few times. Somethings up, I know, and I'm not going to to go pay a doctor to tell me to stop drinking. It might already be too late, but I think I'll be ok. I have so many excuses for why I need to drink and really thats all they are.....excuses. I've used it as a way to put me to sleep at night because on the few nights that I don't drink I can't sleep at all, but thats because of withdrawal. Drinking hasn't brought me anything positive other than the temporary buzz which I love, but I know is killing me. After 6 years of constant punishment to my kidneys, I think its time I did something before I end up on the operating table with a tag on my toe.

I'm not really posting any of this to get any of those "don't give up!" replies. I think its more or less something for me to visually see.....in writing. Positive feedback from other people isn't going to help me kick the habit. It'll be the way I look and feel that will make me stay sober. All I know is that the next few days are going to be absolute hell.

No. I've just been in a similar situation a while back.

i smoke marijuana and drink alcohol quite often to replace the lack of people/bonds in my life. whatever i can get my hands on, i'll almost always pick MJ over alcohol if i have the $. as long as there isn't connection in my life, i will continue to use.

i know this...because despite my problems, i used to actually have a life. or something more like it anyway. i really don't know if i'm looking for help or not (i also toke for medical reasons), i really don't even know why i'm posting this. i've had a very weird, sobering day

wanna relapse so bad. if my family had no way of contacting me, id do it in a hurry.

I think if you stick with it the feeling will pass though. You could perhaps be having a rough night.

oh i'm not going to do it. but it does keep passing my thoughts. i really don't want to go back to that but i can't stop dreaming or thinking about the euphoria of it. only the pleasant memories come to me without thinking. whats strange is the certain smells that bring it on like the fresh air or incense, nice smells. like i want to escape just for a moment but then i have to look back in my journal at the consequences which pail in comparison to those overwhelming "good" thoughts. i am always aware how much mind is apt to playing tricks on me.

Well, it sounds like you are doing well, though you are having the cravings, you can also see that you dont really want it. You just want to be feeling better, and see an improvement in things.

Anyway it is bedtime here. I hope you keep posting if you are not feeling so good, and keep it up with the journal. I think I might start one up to, for my eating disorder.

Goodnight....

i think this place helps a little. this forum or haven is where i can be honest without being put down or ridiculed. not a lot of people understand addiction. it's still a battle for me but one i know the patterns of all too well.