Rants

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Ignorant Democrats. Most of them ignore all the medical evidence supporting the effectiveness of sex reassignment surgery, cite a few studies that appear on the surface to support their points, and then complain when coverage starts, helping more trans people get the health care we need, to lower our suicide rates (you attempt suicide much less after you've had the surgery) and allow us to live in confirmation with our minds, with possible medium- and long-term benefits for such investment (as found by the California Department of Insurance a couple years ago).

Of course, they'll all ignore that. And they'll be all bipartisagism [sic] with the Republicans, appearing reasonable on the surface (but being completely unreasonable below the surface); they'll react to Medicare's opening of coverage by joining with the GOP in enacting a federal law banning the use of all federal funds for sex reassignment surgery, which would set us back, and not just with Medicare. It would also ban it in California's and D.C.'s Medicaid, and in the plans sold on the exchanges in 5 or 6 states. We would be right back where we started.

And the Democrats will be cheering their compromise, oh so reasonable concessions, as trans people, who were just starting to get a status equal to that in other western countries, fall back into despair.

f**k you, Democrats.

Yep. Just had another discussion on a liberal forum, and they were all supportive of the South Carolina DMV forcing the boy to remove the makeup he usually wears. "Well, they made me take my eyeglasses off," they said. BS.

I called them out for it and I was the one told that I was being hateful.

Trans people, beware of liberals and Democrats! They will impale you for a nickel!

Dear 'G':

I'm done asking people for help.

You just don't understand. No one does. No one seems to understand why I'm in such a rush, or why this is important to me. You think I'm a 'creeper', probably 'pathetic' even. Well don't you all.

You were my last option?the only mutual friend 'P' and I had.

You had the power to help me, to talk to him and tell him what's happening with me and tell him I'm feeling crushed. You had the power to improve my bleak situation, to help him understand what I want and how I've felt for ages.

Call me a 'creeper'. Roll your eyes and tell me I'm 'obsessed'. All I want is to partially mend a broken heart by seeking out a friendship with 'P'. Of course I'm 'obsessed'. Anyone who'd been in this situation for eight months would feel the same. Eight months of pain. Three months spent dealing with the pain of rejection and no silver lining.

One giant blow to my self-esteem. Just like last time. And the time before that. That gets tiring after three years. Is it a crime that this time around I wanted to preserve what little self-esteem I had left?

It is too much to ask that you take two minutes to inform 'P' of what's been going on with me, thus saving me from months of pain and internal struggling?

Do I have to bonk you on the head and read this to you before you realize that this issue is important to me, and that because of it I haven't been happy?genuinely happy?in ages?

But I get it now. Oh, I get it. You think I'm just some sad, silly girl who needs to calm down. You don't care enough to help me with one simple task that might get the ball rolling again so for once I'll have the chance to change my situation.

But I understand that people are selfish and will only do favors that might benefit their own agendas. So forget it.

-Lauren the 'Creeper'

"But you know what? Just forget the whole thing, and you take care of yourself and I can take care of mine!" -Abigail Breslin as Sandra Andersen in Perfect Sisters

I seeking a part time job right now and I am having trouble because I spent 8 years of my life on a work program where I was labeled as mentally unstable and disabled.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Au3PYUf ... TwXbU3_GdA

If it was just me I'd let it all go. Not only has failure come around again, but now I'm sick and immune system is crashing, leaving me even less energy for this seemingly hopeless quest. Maybe Things Are Darkest Just Before Turning the Corner.

Stupid obsessions. Well, got another address that makes more sense to me. Avoided spending money on any silly websites though. Don't know how much of a plus that is, how about none?

I really really really really really really don't want to go to work tomorrow. The last time I think I managed to offend both my co-worker and my boss who are fighting with one another in one go.

"I thought you'd be glad I was talking to the Red Queen. I thought you loved Looking Glass Land, Wonderland. I thought we loved it together."

About 20 minutes ago I had a very short and fleeting, but also very intense thought that I should self harm again. I did not act on that thought. But for a moment I seriously doubted my restraints against doing so. I'm on most part freaked out that I even considered it, but a very small part feels like I should have.

Having to wait 2 months to see a counsellor for my Post natal depression. Then the oh so brilliant add on that depression has for relationships....yep, home life isn't too good either. I ended up screaming and kicking a hole in the gate of my back garden, now I feel like a complete failure because I've lost my composure totally. I feel very alone, I don't know any other women in RL with aspergers who have similar experiences to myself.

Geez, you try to speak up for a child who's being abused because he had an accident in his underwear and you know the abusive father pushed him around the washroom and banged him into the walls. The father tells the son that he'll stop treating him that way when he stops having accidents in his underwear. He tells his son not to look at him and than he nails him onto the blanket with his fist. You stick up for the child by saying that a person is a person, no matter how small and than he calls you a ret*d and he keeps calling you that name, even though it's causing things to heat up quickly. His wifey that you saw at the church Easter Dinner that was doing something to another child of theirs comes walking up to you. That's the last time I ever speak up for a child that's being abused. I'll just get called a ret*d and have a meltdown when I get home. I know I'm not the sharpest steak knife in the cutlery drawer and I've made a very dumb mistake. I'll have to find another way to make a stand against child abuse. I also won't repeat that mistake ever again. I hate how people use the word, ret*d without knowing the other person and what they've gone through. That word is not a deterrent, it only adds heat to the conflict. I wasn't going to hurt that loser either. I also told him I wasn't ret*d many times. he's such a skank. I hope he rots and burns in Hell.

I can't drink coffee. I'm allergic to it. I'm walking to 7-Eleven to buy the most potent energy drink that they have.

Why can't I just come out and say what I want to say, instead of only saying around half of it? Then after the conversation is over, I know from experience that if i try to initiate another conversation about it, people think I'm just harassing them because I didn't get my way, when in reality it's only because I didn't say everything I'd wanted to the first time.

I hate having to walk everywhere even though there is a f*****g car parked in the parking lot that belongs to my sister, simply because I was born a f*****g ret*d and can't drive. And I have waited till it's too dark to go anywhere because I stupidly decided to stuff my face with chocolate cake and milk and bubblegum.

My birthday also sucked ass and I don't have any real friends. Everyone thinks I'm weird or feels sorry for me, but no one actually respects me. I'm a loser and lame and disabled and stupid and strange. If I didn't have a hulking controlling hawk of a mother and a bitchy sister who cries too much I would've hanged myself forever ago. But they want me around until they're sick of me.

I don't hate my f*****g life; I just suck at it.

I wish life wasn't such a f*****g uphill struggle with - in my opinion - absolutely no reward at the end of it. I try to be a good guy, try to please people who are supposed to be my friends, and they still don't respect me. They rarely bother to return any favours, just leech and leech until I'm nothing more than a shrivelled, dried-out husk. Why am I such a f*****g joke to most people? Why does everyone assume I'm an absolute moron just because I'm not some sort of master of sociality? Since when did intelligence and being social become the same thing? Why do nearly all jobs insist on employees who are "bubbly" and outgoing? What the hell are the introverts supposed to do then?

What's up with my ability to feel bad about any memory, even the good ones?

Sometimes I think that there are people wishing me harm, but then I realize that they probably don't think about me at all. I don't even know which I consider worse.