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Feeling hopeless (trigger warning - suicide)

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dragonsanddemons
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03 Dec 2017, 3:04 pm

300series wrote:
I forgot to mention that the same thing happened to me with Trazodone that happened with Abilify; I quit taking it just because my refills ran out, and I never requested more pills because they were not helpful. I was on the 50 milligram tablet dosage.



How are things going with you today? Are you spending time with Merlin? Have you done any chores or raked leaves? Is your mood any better today?



Waiting until Tuesday for your therapy appointment is the hardest part, and I really hope it goes better than your previous appointments. I will still be here for you.



300 big hugs.



Things are going all right. I just downloaded The Sims 4 on my mom's laptop (with her permission) so I can play, which will hopefully distract me some. My mom actually finished the leaves yesterday while I was at social skills class. My mood's OK for the time being, though I don't know how long that may or may not last. Yeah, waiting for my next appointment is indeed the hardest part. Only two more days. And I have an appointment with my therapist two days after that, so hopefully we can make some progress there as well.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


Raleigh
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03 Dec 2017, 3:11 pm

Do you do any creative arts, d&d?


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Raleigh
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03 Dec 2017, 3:14 pm

I know you make costumes.
Do you sew?


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dragonsanddemons
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03 Dec 2017, 3:17 pm

Raleigh wrote:
I know you make costumes.
Do you sew?


I don't sew, I've mostly been using paint, cardboard, and scissors to add to pre-made clothes. I do also write, color, and draw sometimes, and have been learning to play the guitar recently.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


Temeraire
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03 Dec 2017, 4:27 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
Raleigh wrote:
I know you make costumes.
Do you sew?


I don't sew, I've mostly been using paint, cardboard, and scissors to add to pre-made clothes. I do also write, color, and draw sometimes, and have been learning to play the guitar recently.


So here goes.
I am going to try and practice what I preach and take the dog out now.
Then I will have an early night.
I have managed to keep myself awake all day so I can try and change this pattern.
So I won't be on here later - not until tomorrow that is.
Sleep well Dragons.



kraftiekortie
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03 Dec 2017, 4:42 pm

Did you have your “Sunday roast?”



dragonsanddemons
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03 Dec 2017, 5:17 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Did you have your “Sunday roast?”


We have a big brunch for our main meal of the day on Sunday, which we did have. Or did you mean have I roasted anything with my fire-breath? :wink:


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


kraftiekortie
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03 Dec 2017, 5:20 pm

The fire-breath, of course! :wink:

You’re a nice “dragon lady.” :D



dragonsanddemons
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03 Dec 2017, 5:33 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
The fire-breath, of course! :wink:

You’re a nice “dragon lady.” :D


Thanks - dragon hugs for you!

I haven't had any reason to use my fire-breath yet today.


_________________
Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


kraftiekortie
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03 Dec 2017, 5:37 pm

Sometimes, I growl in the subways. Do you growl when you are alone?

I do it sort of as a joke......I am the Wolfman!



dragonsanddemons
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03 Dec 2017, 5:47 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Sometimes, I growl in the subways. Do you growl when you are alone?

I do it sort of as a joke......I am the Wolfman!


Yep, I growl, snarl, hiss, trill, etc. I try to only do it when I'm alone to avoid drawing attention to myself :)


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


dragonsanddemons
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03 Dec 2017, 5:50 pm

And now it seems I've reached the point in the day where my depression's starting to really hit me again.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


kraftiekortie
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03 Dec 2017, 6:26 pm

“Trilling” sounds sophisticated....



dragonsanddemons
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03 Dec 2017, 6:31 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
“Trilling” sounds sophisticated....


Well, what I call "trilling" is really just a brief purring sound, with a little vocalization added.


_________________
Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


300series
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03 Dec 2017, 6:50 pm

dragonsanddemons wrote:
And now it seems I've reached the point in the day where my depression's starting to really hit me again.





I am sorry that your depression symptoms are getting worse again. Are there certain times of the day when your depression is worse than others?



Sometimes, my depression is worse at night time than day time. Other times it is worse during the day than the night; maybe it is just because I will be going to sleep soon. I don't know.



dragonsanddemons
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03 Dec 2017, 7:02 pm

300series wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
And now it seems I've reached the point in the day where my depression's starting to really hit me again.





I am sorry that your depression symptoms are getting worse again. Are there certain times of the day when your depression is worse than others?



Sometimes, my depression is worse at night time than day time. Other times it is worse during the day than the night; maybe it is just because I will be going to sleep soon. I don't know.


Mine tends to be worse later in the day, after 8pm or so, although today was a few hours earlier.


_________________
Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"