I feel discouraged...

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...Briefly, I guess they wanted to get rid of me.
The going out was much, if not all, of it, I guess.
It's undreverssable now - I received a delivery here, at the cheap motel, of my stuff - almost. all of which I will leave behind me (I'm used to having all my stuff thrown away , and plan around it .) when I leave it.
Perhaps on Monday I'll go back to the ER.

Did you go out again after you returned from the hospital?

...Yes. However, I didn't for a while -;And throughout all this I never went out every day, or even the majority of days. Throughout the whole rehab period I stayed at the rehab all day the majority of days. TlI likely overdid it, I suppose, but there really some things I needed or wanted to have and I don't think anybody would have helped me!

I was just wondering about sequence of events.

Well now you can go wherever you please without breaking the rules. Unfortunately, you're back in the cycle of hospital/out on the street again. I guess if you ever manage to get into another rehab you'll know you can't keep leaving and doing errands or they really will put you out.

I suspect it was WHAT he was doing while out - eating all sorts of food bad for a diabetic and for fluid retention. With the medical attention he received at rehab his foot should have healed long ago.

That, and the diabetes itself, was the cause of his foot not healing properly.

I hope ASS-P is able to contact Homeless Services, or whatever they call it in Santa Cruz.

ASS-P is a smart person but he sabotages his own medical growth every so often.

As a homeless person, I've met quite a few people out here with a condition called anosognosia. To wit:

"Also called "lack of insight," anosognosia is a symptom of severe mental illness experienced by some that impairs a person's ability to understand and perceive his or her illness. It is the single largest reason why people with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder refuse medications or do not seek treatment."

In ASS-P's case, it's his follow-through/complying with the full treatment program that gets him in trouble. He interrupts his medical care by going out on excursions and indulging in things he shouldn't, like McDonald's.

Will ASS-P ever get with the program and be fully compliant with doctors' orders? One would hope so.

Above all, I believe it's a "freedom" thing more than anything else.

He doesn't believe people should infringe upon his right to enjoy Burger King.

I believe he has insight into his health problems...but his desire to enjoy what he enjoys interferes with that.

Ive known quite a few people like that.

ASS-P there are rules and there are consequences to breaking them and when you break the rules you are engaging in a business transaction. What you want at what it will cost you.

You wanted to leave the facility and did, and you paid the cost for doing so. To get your freedom, you gave up your spot. Just like when you buy a hamburger. To get the hamburger you have to give up some money.

This one is on you.

The rules are in place so they can properly treat your health condition. There is no sense in them keeping you there when you are non compliant because it defeats the purpose. Your condition will continue to decline and you will just be taking a bed that should go to someone who needs it and will comply and get better.

You have health problems and not all of them can be controled completely. I also have health problems that cannot be completely controled for but I am 100% compliant.

You have CHF, and are retaining dangerous amounts of fluid because of it, and diabetes that has cost you toes. If you are not 100% compliant with your medical treatment and think running out of the facility for errands is worth losing your place there you will die.

If you cannot manage your body and your life on your own, such that you are in the condition and situation you are in, you have to heed the professionals and let them manage it for you when they are trying to do so. You failed yourself here.

Is a run to McDonald's worth your life?
Is there really any errand you had to do that was worth your life?

When you are in the hospital or rehab for serious medical conditions, that is how you have to think of it.

Most people in the situation you are in now would not wait to go get pills because they know their blood sugar is going to spike and they will become ill. They would, at the very least, go get an emergency supply today.

Last edited by Chronos on 13 Jan 2018, 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I believe ASS-P is a fatalist.

He knows he's going to die eventually.

He figures....."why not enjoy KFC if Im going to die, anyway."

I've known many people like that.

You've gotta ask yourself: if ASS-P's a fatalist and knows he's going to die, and has no intention of following the advice of the medical professionals, why check himself into a hospital in the first place?

In my opinion, there's a side to ASS-P that really doesn't want him to die. I should have mentioned that.

There's lots of life-spirit to him, despite the blows he's received in the course of his life.

That's why he should get an apartment, and hang out with people who like comic books.

Maybe but I know a number of people with diabetes and they have successfully brought themselves back from the brink of destruction.

If he wants to be a fatalist then why waste his time even going to these facilities when someone else who isn't a fatalist can be there?

I don't think he is a fatalist but I don't understand his motivations. Impulsivity perhaps? Martyr syndrome? Temporary amnesia as to the consequences?

If he wants to live his life his way that is his choice but he should at least take ownership of that. Not "I was kicked out of the facility" but "I chose to leave the facility" because that is actually what happened.

I think impulsivity plays a role. There is no "amnesia."

He was kicked out. But it was mostly his fault.

...The reasons for going out also included plans for nessecary things, some done, some still not done or attempted - Getting/making work this smartphone, getting clothes, renewing my ID card, wanting a credit union card + ID!