MR20 wrote:
hyperbole wrote:
In that time span when everything went to hell, did you at least contact social services? If your situation is that poor, there is help available. The problem is that you do not seem to be able to ask for help. No one can ask for help for you. If you are agoraphobic you should be on some kind of medication, and be going to a therapist to help alleviate those symptoms and give you coping tools. Usually a social worker can set you up in cost free clinics and arrange transportation. If You send me a private message I will even go so far as giving finding the proper agencies and getting the numbers for you. But YOU must make the calls and ask for help.
I don't have the kind of money to get real help from doctors and therapists and even I did they wouldn't do anything but put me on medicine that I don't need. That would probably make the situation worse.
I doubt it's your looks that turn people off. It is more likely the depression you are suffering. It is very difficult to watch someone in pain, that is unwilling to do anything to help themselves. A friend doesn't care if you have money or dress like sh**. You have more to offer than having been in special ed. and an education level to share. You seem very articulate, but very depressed and very lost.
It is my looks, the way I dress, the way I smell, the way I talk. (I have a speech impediment so I talk kinda funny and it makes it hard for people to understand what I'm saying) I'm uninteresting, boring, and don't have anything to offer anyone. That stuff does count, no one wants to be around a bum. or hang out with one in public.
As far as the original question..... is life worth living for you? I bet it is, but you have to start living instead of merely existing.
Do you have dreams of a better life? What do you want from life?
Yeah I do, but it's unrealistic. I wanted to go to prom. I want to go skiing in the rockies with friends. I want to go on a road trip. I want to go on vacation and see other parts of the world. I want to go to parties and concerts with other friends. I want date and have a girlfriend ( it's been nearly six year since I've so much as hugged a girl my age) I want to get married and have a family. I know all this stuff are just dreams and very unlikely to happen.
in bold
Social services can help you with a decent place to live, food, having hot water and medical coverage with no expense to you.
you mean housing projects where crackheads, gangmembers, and thugs can come in a steal everything you have? It is not all about MD's and medication. There are steps you can take to improve your situation in part without medication that you do not want.
Your self image is very poor. There are things you can do to be your best. Bathing, of course brushing your teeth and hair etc. You may not be everyone's cup of tea. No one is. But you seem to focus on nothing but these very superficial things. What do you have to offer friends?
Nothing. I'm boring and annoying to hang out with. I talking about nothing but video games and anime as those are my only interest. noone wants to hear that crap.None of your dreams are unrealistic. But unless you are willing to take the fist step, they are nothing but dreams.
First step? There are no steps it's too late for me. So you're right, they're nothing but dreams.It seems like your self esteem has taken a real beating over the years and you might be afraid of rejection and hard work, but in order to obtain any of those things, you must make a
sincere attempt.I tried doing that when I was young. It didn't work, people still treated me the same. There is no hope and life isn't worth living. I wish god would grant mercy on me and end it sooner or later.
19 Nov 2010, 1:59 am
