Getting old and not getting to live.

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33 here and on the scrapheap for about 10 years, although i was involved in some voluntary stuff for the first 3 or so. I wont pretend to be any sort of rolemodel because i feel trapped between inertia and time passing, i know what matters (realistically) isnt a job per se, but having some kind of meaning - if you cant do volunteering officially, but you really want to, just go out and do something anyway (you could even make your own stencilled fluoro jacket lol ). I try and put myself in perspective by thinking how lucky i am not to be in prison or a chinese sweatshop with suicide nets round the edge or far more severely disabled. But even if i was it wouldnt be the end. I think about nature and existance as a whole etc and how indignificant my own worries are which im mostly creating myself.

Keep in mind that the anti-disabled anti-unemployed stuff in the media is out and out propaganda - nothing short of a mass brainwashing campaign by the elite. Were in a sort of war if you like, so you could even take some meaning from that i suppose? maybe acknoledging the ''fight' and moving it from lurking in the background to on a more conscious level will bring some peace? There IS a protest movement among disabled people, although for obvious reasons you will not see much of it on the BBC etc. From organised events like the ATOS direct actions to the lone guy on youtube i saw with a megaphone attached to his wheelchair putting out some hard-hitting truths while moving through the town centre.

well put, if you cant 'differentiate between your own and someone elses dreams' and allow youself to become defined by societal norms then your not really living as a free conscious being. In as sense you wouldnt be fully 'alive' at all. A quote from someone very wise that sticks with me is 'people wonder whether there will ever be artificial intelligence; most people are artificial intelligence!' i suppose i am for the most part, still. but everything can change in an instant.

Last edited by psych on 27 May 2011, 8:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Unemployment is pretty bad here in the States too. I'm also 27 and unemployed. My dad says in the near 63 years of his life he has never seen unemployment in this country so horrid. The only ones in our household making money are my aunt and mom. They run a Beauty Supply together but they're barely hanging on.

Anyway one thing that makes me feel depressed at times about being my age is that everyone my age in the states seems to be living a life in a dot.com millionaire style or are already in that phase of newlywed or family starting mode. Watching shows about 20-somethings in an apartment together depress me. I hate Friends so much because it's a reminder of a life I know I am incapable of living. I probably would feel even worse if I didn't know I had Asperger's. And I don't have any interest in marriage or children but living with the parents (in an isolated rural area) who keep asking what I eat every day is depressing and pretty lonely.

Well anyway I've pretty much given up. Despite my training in Medical Coding I was being taught using a coding system that was already in the process of being out of date once I got my certification. I would have to go back to school and relearn it all again cuz I know the workplace wouldn't do squat to help me. Oh well, not like I am socially capable of getting my foot through the door anyway.