Why couldn't I have been born a boy?
tomboy4good
Veteran
Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,379
Location: Irritating people everywhere
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yeah it's cliche but it's also true. I've never been a raving beauty either, so I know where you're coming from. I was the Ugly Duckling, the Beast, the Monster, the Shipwreck, etc. Guys often insulted me while they praised the looks of other girls around me. Words & insults hurt, there's no doubt about it. Make a list of things you like about yourself, along with a list of what you don't. You can't change everything at once, but over time, I'll bet you have a list of things you like about yourself that's larger than the one you don't. Give it a shot.
What I meant by my statement above, is just make the best of it. I've known some people who weren't attractive, but their personality made them quite magnetic. It can be done. But you do have to at least try.
_________________
If I do something right, no one remembers. If I do something
wrong, no one forgets.
Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive
Let's get real. If you were a man, you'd be here complaining about how less qualified women get jobs before you because of affirmative action and how this is so unfair to you. You'd complain about how women can get any help they want by flashing their boobs or flirting, how they have the option to stay home and raise kids where you're pre-determined by society to work until you die, how you feel inadequate compared to other men in gym locker rooms based solely on the size of genitals, how you can't be nice to a woman without her accusing you of sexual harassment and stalking, and feel compelled to speak up as an exception every time a woman starts talking about systematic sexism and male privilege. Then, on top of all that, you'd have to carry around a penis in your pants all the time.
Drink beer, eat meat, burp and fart all you please... but you were born with a vagina because there's too many d*cks in the world as it is.
(That last statement is gonna get me in trouble with the fellas, I bet.)
If I was a woman, I would be complaining about how all guys want is sex, and how all guys are the same, and how guys are always allowed to say what they want, and how guys get to choose whoever they want, and how everyone is discriminating against me because I'm a woman, and how I can't be a doctor, and how I can't play sports, and how I can't be myself, and how I can't do this, and how I can't do that, and how I can't do anything because people tell me that I can't.
You can't be a doctor if you're a woman? Who sez?
~Kate
_________________
Ce e amorul? E un lung
Prilej pentru durere,
Caci mii de lacrimi nu-i ajung
Si tot mai multe cere.
--Mihai Eminescu
Anyway, why don't you tell us what episode brough these feelings on instead, it's a pretty general lashing out.
What happened to keeping up faith and working on losing weight a little at a time?
Wish i could say more to help, but it's not gonna do much good to open up the "boys have it easier" can of worms.
Anyway sorry my gender opresses your gender.
On a very serious note, why would u give up multiple orgasms?
I can't orgasm. Nope nothing. It feels like you were poking my arm. My vagina is broken, thanks for bringing that up.
Sorry, I didn't realize u had such problems. I was trying to tell a lame sexist joke to lighten the mood, guess I could have picked a better sexist joke. Are you sure it's not medication related(if u don't wanna change topic ignore that question)
Also, when u age a bit, so does men and with age and "wisdom" comes wanting to settle down with a PERSON instead of being the youthful idiot who just wants to nail some hot girl who's name he barely cares about.
*hugs*
_________________
"Quantum mechanics teaches us that anything can happen at any time for no reason, also eat plenty of oatmeal, and animals never had a war"
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yeah it's cliche but it's also true. I've never been a raving beauty either, so I know where you're coming from. I was the Ugly Duckling, the Beast, the Monster, the Shipwreck, etc. Guys often insulted me while they praised the looks of other girls around me. Words & insults hurt, there's no doubt about it. Make a list of things you like about yourself, along with a list of what you don't. You can't change everything at once, but over time, I'll bet you have a list of things you like about yourself that's larger than the one you don't. Give it a shot.
What I meant by my statement above, is just make the best of it. I've known some people who weren't attractive, but their personality made them quite magnetic. It can be done. But you do have to at least try.
I am trying. I'm just having a rough day, that's all. I was feeling really good about myself for the past few weeks and then it all came crashing down today. I'll be fine tomorrow, probably, but I guess I need to vent, that's all. Can't talk to my mom about it because she'll tell me to "shut up and stop being so damn emotional!" I can't cry without her yelling at me either. >.<
Anyway, why don't you tell us what episode brough these feelings on instead, it's a pretty general lashing out.
What happened to keeping up faith and working on losing weight a little at a time?
Wish i could say more to help, but it's not gonna do much good to open up the "boys have it easier" can of worms.
Anyway sorry my gender opresses your gender.
On a very serious note, why would u give up multiple orgasms?
I can't orgasm. Nope nothing. It feels like you were poking my arm. My vagina is broken, thanks for bringing that up.
Sorry, I didn't realize u had such problems. I was trying to tell a lame sexist joke to lighten the mood, guess I could have picked a better sexist joke. Are you sure it's not medication related(if u don't wanna change topic ignore that question)
Also, when u age a bit, so does men and with age and "wisdom" comes wanting to settle down with a PERSON instead of being the youthful idiot who just wants to nail some hot girl who's name he barely cares about.
*hugs*
It probably is medication related. But I can't get to a gynecologist as they're all so far away and I can't tell my mom about it because she'll assume I've become a slut and throw me out of the house.
Why do you think I've been trying to go after older men (4-7 years older usually)? Guys my age suck. They're shallow, immature and just not what I'm looking for. D:
but all i can say is, do u want a hug?
its not really my place to say, but if a guy only likes someone "cos theyre hawt" - then they're probably an asshat anyhoo.
Sadly, that's how the men are in my area. They're sports men who like the "cheerleader" kind of girl. I hate sports. I really want to move so I can get in with a smarter crowd. I hate the redneck part of Pennsylvania. D:
Oh, and PA rednecks suck! I grew up in small town PA, yecch! Once you get to a less rednecky kind of place, you'll find the caliber of men is much better!
EDIT: I do NOT agree with whoever said it's the same everywhere. I grew up in small town PA-ville and when I got out of there and started meeting people from all over the place, I saw a definite difference.
~Kate
Even Kutztown is better than were my hometown is. I feel like I'd do better in the city...so long as my apartment doesn't have rats or bugs. >.<
I can only apologize for the lies and BS that society gives you about being a woman.
The turth is when lies and BS are knocking you self believe, Society been giving you trash view about being a woman. Now please do tell me what you do trash now? As you need to the same to the trash society has been giving about being female, get rid of it. As getting rid of it will you help you to quickly to achieve what you what in your life.
Please stop telling the patriarchal misogynistic bastards that they're wrong, show them that there wrong as thats the best way to wipe there f***ing sumg smiles off there faces!! !
NEVER LET THE PATRIARCHAL MISOGYNISTIC BASTARDS GET YOU DOWN!! !
NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS, AS YOU CAN DO IT AND MAKE THEM COME TRUE!!
*backs up* I feel like I have to march now. I don't know why.
I can only apologize for the lies and BS that society gives you about being a woman.
The turth is when lies and BS are knocking you self believe, Society been giving you trash view about being a woman. Now please do tell me what you do trash now? As you need to the same to the trash society has been giving about being female, get rid of it. As getting rid of it will you help you to quickly to achieve what you what in your life.
Please stop telling the patriarchal misogynistic bastards that they're wrong, show them that there wrong as thats the best way to wipe there f***ing sumg smiles off there faces!! !
NEVER LET THE PATRIARCHAL MISOGYNISTIC BASTARDS GET YOU DOWN!! !
NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS, AS YOU CAN DO IT AND MAKE THEM COME TRUE!!
*backs up* I feel like I have to march now. I don't know why.
lol that the feminist in me that came out to play
If you what to march be my guest, can I join you on the march then?
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,573
Location: In my own little country
I wish I was a guy so my body will match my brain. Hang in there. Things might seem hard now, but they will get easier. I felt the same way when I was your age. Now, i've learned to cherish and accept all things about myself. Even my size, which I didn't always accept.
_________________
The Family Schlager
Ok, let me say this. Erisad, I find you incredibly attractive. Physically at least. I am male. I tease you sometimes because what I really want to do is take you and show you how a REAL man gets it done.
But seriously, what men DON'T find attractive is the poor-me whining you do. I don't think it's your fault-there's something wrong in your brain, I know because I had the same problem, and I have to take Risperdal for it. Like you, I was convinced that all medication was evil and that other people were to blame for all my problems. I finally found myself in a situation where there was nobody to blame except myself. That's when I sought help.
You will not seek help until you realize that "men" or your mom are not to blame for Erisad's attitude, lack of success, or even lack of an orgasm. You and you alone have to take responsibility for your life. I keep telling you this, but you refuse to listen. You will need to find yourself in a situation where you will be forced to take responsibility. Nobody can make that happen except you.
You need to step outside of your comfort zone and find yourself in a position where only Erisad is to blame for Erisad's issues. There are three pages in this thread, and EVERY SINGLE piece of advice you have been given has been met by you with "the Wall of Whine". You need to break down the brick wall in your brain and seize the day. Only YOU can do it. We can't do it for you.
/rant off
So...I'm not allowed to get pissed off every now and again? I've been doing a lot better lately. I haven't made a haven post in several weeks, if not longer. I just needed to rant and get all this s**t off of my chest, mmkay? I don't need anymore medication. That's only going to make me feel worse. I never blamed men or anyone for my lack of orgasm, okay? Just my medication. I've tried working towards it and I haven't gotten anywhere. I'm allowed to be frustrated. I've been busting my ass to better myself. I'm 32 pounds lighter than I was last August and wearing smaller pants. I'm taking driving lessons and applying for jobs so it's not like I'm doing nothing and whining about how nothing's getting better. I'm taking action and just had a moment of weakness, that's all. Thank you for your help, really but I will be okay.
P.s. I laughed and joked with cdfox's advice, okay? So I didn't whine at him. ![]()
What? He's always telling me that I need more medication and I'm trying to break away from that mindset. I didn't think I was being rude. I was explaining that I'll be fine. I said thank you too so I'm really confused as to where I was rude in my post. I'm sorry if it came off that way. D:
It wasn't rude. I thought it was a little rude to come into the haven and start telling someone she's whining but JMO. I thought the haven was FOR being able to say stuff like that WITHOUT being accused of "whining".
~Kate
_________________
Ce e amorul? E un lung
Prilej pentru durere,
Caci mii de lacrimi nu-i ajung
Si tot mai multe cere.
--Mihai Eminescu
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 44
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,677
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
What? He's always telling me that I need more medication and I'm trying to break away from that mindset. I didn't think I was being rude. I was explaining that I'll be fine. I said thank you too so I'm really confused as to where I was rude in my post. I'm sorry if it came off that way. D:
I was overmedicated too as a kid. I'm several inches shorter than I should be because of Ritalin. I had a string of idiot shrinks whose answer to my problems was to increase the medication. Finally, at 14, I said no more, and was that way for six years. It wasn't until later that I realized that some things DO get better with medication. You need a good psychiatrist, not one that is some medical school reject who can't get hired in Philly so he works in the sticks. I suspect that a general practitioner is giving you ADHD and depression meds, which is about the worst situation that it's possible to be in. GP's usually don't understand mental health, they are there to hand out pills. I sympathize but you really need to get treated by a qualified psychiatrist. All doctors aren't bad, the ones who work in the sticks are because they can't get hired in the cities because they're incompetent. There are actually good doctors out there. Please, get qualified help. You will always be depressed and angry unless/until you get help.
