I dislike people of all types.
04 Oct 2011, 6:24 am
Thanks, Greatsharkbite. That was exactly what I was trying to say.
It upsets me when people ignore my posts on this board - like with another post I made on another thread, someone assumed it wasn't going to be worth their time. All people have to do is read before making assumptions. It's not like my posts are very long.
04 Oct 2011, 3:02 pm
I feel you're missing the point entire. What the person was suggesting wasn't changing yourself, it was to learn how to talk to other people. I.E. If you didn't learn how to communicate in a human language (in this case English) you'd get no results from this post whatsoever. Body language is the same thing--it is real and it is studied.
You are depriving yourself of knowledge, knowledge isn't "not being who you are" Or some of this 90's rock band crap afterschool specials drilled into us so we'd think its ok to not grow. Let's look at a stubborn toddler potty training for instance (not that you are one) they keep complaining that their pull ups stink but they don't want to use the bathroom--I am very much trying to teach them how to solve their problem directly.
Well people should learn how to talk to me, instead of making fun and shunning me. I don't give a damn about some body language, it's not an excuse to treat people like s**t because you're different. I'm nice and friendly, and all I'm trying to do is make friends. It's like you people are taking up for them and condemning me.
This isn't just with body language either, is learning to find other interests YOU personally find interesting changing yourself? No, it isn't. You're complaining about being boring and not having other interests--this is just a solution to you refining who you yourself already are.
When I was younger I didn't like music whatsoever and I was close to 17, but the truth was I just didn't know enough music to make the classification that I didn't like any. Now I listen to several different types of music.
I don't have money or interest in anything else accept for snowboarding, and you can't do that here.
I understand anxiety and know what post your quoting because I relate, that being the case just because I thought someone might be talking about me or others might view me a certain way doesn't mean i believe what they're saying is true.
If a lot of people keep telling you something about yourself you start to believe it
Also what beautiful people are you speaking of? Because anyone who's a jerk enough to bully people-- that is closer to being "butt ugly" to me than anything
You society encourages the "butt ugly" of which you speak. It's all about talking down and being condescending to people to make you feel better about yourself. If you lack attractiveness, social status, money, impressive talents and/or skills, or an education, then you are nothing. No one wants to be your friend and no one will go out with you.
bold
04 Oct 2011, 4:26 pm
If a lot of people keep telling you something about yourself you start to believe it
Agreed that is a way to do it, but people can't force you to believe anything. It can hurt, the fear of being insulted can cause self doubt and anxiety. (It normally will if a large amount of people do it) but from someone who's "been there" the choice to continue believing it tho can be yours and not theirs.
Yeah--the world is definitely not fair, no one is trying to give you the illusion that it is, but you can adapt methods to improve yourself to adapt to or even mold/change certain portions of it that involve you directly.
As I said, interests can be adapted to your persona. You weren't born with a gameboy and a porn video in your hand, you adapted those interests. Also honestly I doubt you watched porn as a hobby before age 11, you yourself "grew" and found it as one. You can change/adapt new hobbys and not change your individuality.
If you think you've learned everything about yourself at 25, you are cheating yourself. Don't get me wrong your interests might not change for a long time, but by not keeping an open mind for things, isn't it possible you may miss new interests out there?
Well, i'm going to say this. Its not an excuse to tease or bully you, but I wasn't addressing that specifically when talking about body language. I was addressing the fact that this would help the problems you yourself bring up as far as girls not talking to you and understanding and bettering your relationships in general.
I'm not condemning someone who shares my problems with maintaining healthy relationships I am trying to point them in a direction that could help that as its helped me. By not understanding your body language you're unintentionally sending both vibes and messages that you might not want your body to send. I mean would you expect people to hang out with and approach you if your body language is saying "go away?" I am trying to explain it to you in practical terms.
"Change" isn't bad, not being yourself is bad, changing your individuality is questionable but you've changed all the time without realizing it, the porn was one example, playing video games and watching anime were also a couple. Aliens didn't abduct you from the womb and put those interests into your head, you grew to include them in your lifestyle.
If you don't take showers etc, lemme tell you hygiene affects health. Besides getting a cold, you are also more likely to spread other diseases like meningitis, hepatitis A, influenza and infectious diarrhea, bronchopneumonia, flu, skin diseases etc.
Forget what your friends think about your hygiene you are more likely to get diseases yourself by not maintaining it.
Also keep in mind exactly what you want out of others and give them the same, I can tell you, you'd want a girl/woman who bathed and showered on a somewhat regular basis. There is almost no doubt about it. You'd have to be a masochist to not want a girl to wash after their monthly cycle.
04 Oct 2011, 9:42 pm
05 Oct 2011, 10:08 pm
If a lot of people keep telling you something about yourself you start to believe it
Agreed that is a way to do it, but people can't force you to believe anything. It can hurt, the fear of being insulted can cause self doubt and anxiety. (It normally will if a large amount of people do it) but from someone who's "been there" the choice to continue believing it tho can be yours and not theirs.
Yeah--the world is definitely not fair, no one is trying to give you the illusion that it is, but you can adapt methods to improve yourself to adapt to or even mold/change certain portions of it that involve you directly.
As I said, interests can be adapted to your persona. You weren't born with a gameboy and a porn video in your hand, you adapted those interests. Also honestly I doubt you watched porn as a hobby before age 11, you yourself "grew" and found it as one. You can change/adapt new hobbys and not change your individuality.
If you think you've learned everything about yourself at 25, you are cheating yourself. Don't get me wrong your interests might not change for a long time, but by not keeping an open mind for things, isn't it possible you may miss new interests out there?
Well, i'm going to say this. Its not an excuse to tease or bully you, but I wasn't addressing that specifically when talking about body language. I was addressing the fact that this would help the problems you yourself bring up as far as girls not talking to you and understanding and bettering your relationships in general.
I'm not condemning someone who shares my problems with maintaining healthy relationships I am trying to point them in a direction that could help that as its helped me. By not understanding your body language you're unintentionally sending both vibes and messages that you might not want your body to send. I mean would you expect people to hang out with and approach you if your body language is saying "go away?" I am trying to explain it to you in practical terms.
"Change" isn't bad, not being yourself is bad, changing your individuality is questionable but you've changed all the time without realizing it, the porn was one example, playing video games and watching anime were also a couple. Aliens didn't abduct you from the womb and put those interests into your head, you grew to include them in your lifestyle.
If you don't take showers etc, lemme tell you hygiene affects health. Besides getting a cold, you are also more likely to spread other diseases like meningitis, hepatitis A, influenza and infectious diarrhea, bronchopneumonia, flu, skin diseases etc.
Forget what your friends think about your hygiene you are more likely to get diseases yourself by not maintaining it.
Also keep in mind exactly what you want out of others and give them the same, I can tell you, you'd want a girl/woman who bathed and showered on a somewhat regular basis. There is almost no doubt about it. You'd have to be a masochist to not want a girl to wash after their monthly cycle.
I can't do any of the stuff you mentioned because I can barely take care of myself. I hardly know how to bathe, I can't drive, I'm too slow and stupid even for a GED, so I won't be able to get a decent job. I live with my parents, and I've been living off SSI and foodstamps for most of my life.
That's borderline ret*d for a person my age not to be able to do these things. How am I supposed to become more "normal" like you say, when I can't even do simple and basic things that people almost half my age and less know how to.
06 Oct 2011, 8:59 am
I can't do any of the stuff you mentioned because I can barely take care of myself. I hardly know how to bathe, I can't drive, I'm too slow and stupid even for a GED, so I won't be able to get a decent job. I live with my parents, and I've been living off SSI and foodstamps for most of my life.
That's borderline ret*d for a person my age not to be able to do these things. How am I supposed to become more "normal" like you say, when I can't even do simple and basic things that people almost half my age and less know how to.
Have you taken any iq tests or aptitude tests? You seem to write pretty well to the point that i'm sure a lot of people your envious of wish they could do the same. There was someone in my family who thrived in highschool and at making friends and he was and is a very cool guy. Little did I know that when we were younger he was jealous of what my reading ability was for my age. (Hope he never reads this.)
You also debate well but my fear for you is that while you definitely have flaws (as do the rest of us and then some) you might be closed to the things you can change and debate yourself into a corner. Barely knowing how to take a bath or maintain hygiene versus not taking one might be the difference between confidence and depression. I'd prefer you debate for things in your favor sometimes. Even if its just the 1 or 2 things. I can't speak much for "porn" its not really a hobby as it is more an indulgence (if it is a hobby, i doubt it can be shared). Video games are really popular nowadays. Anime still is popular with the right crowd.
This reply to you isn't written by someone who wasn't (and sometimes still struggles) with getting teased, bullied and picked on as many of my posts have said. I also used to have hygiene problems as well when I was younger and you'd be surprised how little things can make a difference. If not to your self confidence--to your health. If its something you struggle immensely but still is possible--still try to do it.
06 Oct 2011, 5:00 pm
I can't do any of the stuff you mentioned because I can barely take care of myself. I hardly know how to bathe, I can't drive, I'm too slow and stupid even for a GED, so I won't be able to get a decent job. I live with my parents, and I've been living off SSI and foodstamps for most of my life.
That's borderline ret*d for a person my age not to be able to do these things. How am I supposed to become more "normal" like you say, when I can't even do simple and basic things that people almost half my age and less know how to.
Dude, the fact that you're making this post here tells me you can get the GED. I took my GED, in f*****g jail no less, and it was about 6th grade level. The highest math is Pythagorean theorem, figuring out the area of a triangle. You can skip all those problems and pass. Also, the algebra consists of stuff like 3+n=5, solve for n, as long as you know multiplication and division and whatnot, you're fine. Social studies consists of you reading a paragraph and answering questions about it, requires almost no background knowledge at all. English you're fine, one essay, and answer a few grammar questions. If you want to know for sure if you pass, go to the library and borrow a GED test prep book. If you can pass the tests in the book, great, the real GED is easier.
But yeah, you're being a bit too negative. Things are bad, but there are people who do have it worse, and I know it's not terribly much consolation, but it's true. People have had it worse and done more with what little they have. As evidenced by your grammar, spelling, etc, you're at the very least not ret*d, like with down syndrome. Then again, there are down syndrome people who do lots. I think we got it pretty great compared to other birth defects. For me, I have a 130/80 IQ, my verbal IQ is 130, but my nonverbal is like 80. It makes things odd, yes, but in a lot of ways it's an advantage. It has it's downsides, but everyone has their downsides.
I wanna give you this parable by Jesus.
Even if you're atheistic or whatever, think about that story. If you do nothing with your life, when it comes to a close, you'll regret it. Yup, things could very well be more difficult for you, but just do something even if you can't work and are on SSI, take up some sports or hobbies or something. For me, I found out the physical activity I loved was ice skating, you could very easily find out some kind of thing you're good at that you never even dreamed that you'd be good at. If someone told me last year that I'd be a figure skater, lose 40+ pounds, and end up because of it being attractive enough to have girls ask for my number, I'd have laughed at them. You never know 'til you try. Yes, sometimes you fail. But you must adapt and overcome. That's life, adapting and overcoming things. Hell, the SSI could be a good thing, use it not to just sit and die, but to get back on your feet. Get yourself in shape, learn some stuff (especially how to cook, learning to cook has been a lifesaver for me) and then eventually when you're ready, get a job. I'm saying get a job last, because if you have a job, your time is going to be devoted to your job, and you won't have time to improve yourself, and you'll burn out. Improve yourself first, use the SSI to do that, and then go get a job, or hell, once you learn enough stuff, you may be able to even be self employed.
The main point is, you must try. Obviously, insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result, so don't do that, but you can't honest to God tell me you've tried everything. When one thing doesn't work, try something else. If you run out of options, look for more options.
This is coming from someone who spent high school in Special Ed for what they thought was just random unspecified disorder, and got expelled, arrested, and spent time in jail over some kids from said SPED class robbing me and framing me for assault. So if you think I'm talking out of my ass on hardship, then please do rethink that. In high school, I was also a semi-fat loser, didn't think I was good looking, and watched anime and porn all the time. I was bullied, etc, even by girls. Lots of bad stuff, stuff I still think about daily.
Just do something, anything, to improve your life. It doesn't have to be a huge thing, but just do something. At least bathe... Learn to cook, take some walks, any small thing to improve yourself. Promise me you'll do something this week to improve yourself.
God bless and try to take care of yourself.
08 Oct 2011, 2:05 am
Because I am none of those things and I haven't had any of those things. I'm just a pathetic, depressed, bitter, angry, suicidal, miserable, and lonely 25 year old hermit that does nothing everyday but play video games and look at porn and anime.
I don't care what people say. I'm gonna keep posting on this site, regardless of whether people hate me and want me to just go away. (not any different from RL)
I have a right to feel this way. I'm tired of people in real life and on every site, blog, tv show, forum (this one included) bragging about who they've been sleeping with, how many parters they've had, or how they're so "in love" with a person when I can't even f***ing get a person of the opposite sex to even to talk to me. Or how they went out partying and having fun with their friends, when the "friends" I had in the past hung out with me just to use my stuff. They always treated me like sh**, never respected me, and never wanted to go anywhere with me in public.
I"m so sick of this sh**, I JUST WANT TO SCREAM. It's maddening and frustrating that I'm alone and miserable when so many people are out having fun and living life. I hate it, and I hate the fact that there's pretty much nothing I can do to change it even more.
Well that makes two of us. You might also like Thomas Hobbes. I do.
08 Oct 2011, 11:10 am
I can't do any of the stuff you mentioned because I can barely take care of myself. I hardly know how to bathe, I can't drive, I'm too slow and stupid even for a GED, so I won't be able to get a decent job. I live with my parents, and I've been living off SSI and foodstamps for most of my life.
That's borderline ret*d for a person my age not to be able to do these things. How am I supposed to become more "normal" like you say, when I can't even do simple and basic things that people almost half my age and less know how to.
Dude, the fact that you're making this post here tells me you can get the GED. I took my GED, in f***ing jail no less, and it was about 6th grade level. The highest math is Pythagorean theorem, figuring out the area of a triangle. You can skip all those problems and pass. Also, the algebra consists of stuff like 3+n=5, solve for n, as long as you know multiplication and division and whatnot, you're fine. Social studies consists of you reading a paragraph and answering questions about it, requires almost no background knowledge at all. English you're fine, one essay, and answer a few grammar questions. If you want to know for sure if you pass, go to the library and borrow a GED test prep book. If you can pass the tests in the book, great, the real GED is easier.
But yeah, you're being a bit too negative. Things are bad, but there are people who do have it worse, and I know it's not terribly much consolation, but it's true. People have had it worse and done more with what little they have. As evidenced by your grammar, spelling, etc, you're at the very least not ret*d, like with down syndrome. Then again, there are down syndrome people who do lots. I think we got it pretty great compared to other birth defects. For me, I have a 130/80 IQ, my verbal IQ is 130, but my nonverbal is like 80. It makes things odd, yes, but in a lot of ways it's an advantage. It has it's downsides, but everyone has their downsides.
I wanna give you this parable by Jesus.
Even if you're atheistic or whatever, think about that story. If you do nothing with your life, when it comes to a close, you'll regret it. Yup, things could very well be more difficult for you, but just do something even if you can't work and are on SSI, take up some sports or hobbies or something. For me, I found out the physical activity I loved was ice skating, you could very easily find out some kind of thing you're good at that you never even dreamed that you'd be good at. If someone told me last year that I'd be a figure skater, lose 40+ pounds, and end up because of it being attractive enough to have girls ask for my number, I'd have laughed at them. You never know 'til you try. Yes, sometimes you fail. But you must adapt and overcome. That's life, adapting and overcoming things. Hell, the SSI could be a good thing, use it not to just sit and die, but to get back on your feet. Get yourself in shape, learn some stuff (especially how to cook, learning to cook has been a lifesaver for me) and then eventually when you're ready, get a job. I'm saying get a job last, because if you have a job, your time is going to be devoted to your job, and you won't have time to improve yourself, and you'll burn out. Improve yourself first, use the SSI to do that, and then go get a job, or hell, once you learn enough stuff, you may be able to even be self employed.
The main point is, you must try. Obviously, insanity is doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result, so don't do that, but you can't honest to God tell me you've tried everything. When one thing doesn't work, try something else. If you run out of options, look for more options.
This is coming from someone who spent high school in Special Ed for what they thought was just random unspecified disorder, and got expelled, arrested, and spent time in jail over some kids from said SPED class robbing me and framing me for assault. So if you think I'm talking out of my ass on hardship, then please do rethink that. In high school, I was also a semi-fat loser, didn't think I was good looking, and watched anime and porn all the time. I was bullied, etc, even by girls. Lots of bad stuff, stuff I still think about daily.
Just do something, anything, to improve your life. It doesn't have to be a huge thing, but just do something. At least bathe... Learn to cook, take some walks, any small thing to improve yourself. Promise me you'll do something this week to improve yourself.
God bless and try to take care of yourself.
Are you happy with your life? Do you have any friends or dates? What about a job? Do you have an active social life?
08 Oct 2011, 4:02 pm
I don't know, I'm not too in touch with my feelings. Whether or not I "feel" happy or not. I'm not like, miserable about my life, so I guess I am happy about it.
I had jobs, don't have one currently. My last job didn't quite work out. I've managed to get jobs fairly quick, but maintaining them is the hard part for me. I was actually doing quite an extroverted sales job, I'd yell at people to come to my booth to check out windows at carnivals and stuff. I did well for that, but I'd pretty much crash if I had to talk to people on the phone doing basically telemarketting. Before that, my last job was working in a restaurant with a crazy boss, and I didn't last long. I did delivery driving there, which didn't go well. Right now I have an offer on the table for data entry. Maybe that'd be better for me.
As far as friends, I always had a few friends. I have about 4-5 people I talk to regularly, do stuff with occasionally, and can rely on to help me with stuff. I have like 4-5 internet friends I've known for years, too. I actually got many "social connections" ala the game Persona 3, just I can't maintain them all.
As far as dates, I'm not good, but that's more my fault. Girls seem to actually think I'm cute, and interesting and stuff. I have some quirks that make them go "wtf" sometimes, but overall, I don't believe I'm horrible looking. My problem is, I'm scared of a relationship. Bad things happen in relationships, and I'm very much like my father, and my father and mother's marriage was bad. I don't want to end up like that, so I don't try basically. In fact, my last thing, like a week ago some girl started talking to me, I'm thinking she wanted to do something that night and/or screw me that night, and she asked for my facebook and/or phone number. Initially though, she asked me if I knew anything fun to do and I was like "nah, I pretty much don't do anything fun" so by saying things like that, I close myself off. I'm afraid to get hurt, or hurt someone else in a relationship, and that's my problem. I'm Christian, too (at least I try I guess) so I don't want to randomly screw girls promiscuously.
One thing that sort of helped me, I got really social when involved in my church. However, my church, I eventually couldn't handle the socialness of it all and sorta withdrew. I'd be at people's houses like every couple nights hanging out, and I liked it, I liked the "social high" if you would, but I just couldn't maintain it anymore. It got to be too much. Before that, my sorta social club thingy was Connecticon anime club, that was neat I guess, but still, social club. Connecticon was good, cuz even though I was nerdy and whatever, there were more pathetic guys there than me, haha, so girls would actually talk to me and stuff. But in school, I was in SPED, hated it, bad things happened, all that sorta stuff. After I got out of high school I really did a lot better, as high school really is set up like a prison, whereas in the real world you have more control over who you interact with and whatnot.
Right now, my social life consists of me going to the gym and talking to random people there, and going ice skating and talking to random people there. I'm going to an Orthodox church now, where it's much less socially focused (my old church was a nondenominational Evangelical church type thing, neat in lots of ways for lots of people, just I don't believe it works for me right now) so there's optional coffee hour where I talk to old people. Old people I find very easy to talk to, just people my own age I find much harder. That, and occasionally some time with my handful of friends, but that's like once a week or so. I end up driving my sister and her friends around, so I talk with them a bit, but that's more acquaintances. I'm good at making acquaintances, just I'm not good at, having lots of "friends" as it's hard to prioritize them all, and most importantly, trust them all.
What else, uh... I guess that answers most stuff. Yeah, life isn't perfect, but neither is it for anyone. It's more that once I became Christian, I found it easier to not feel as bad about my life compared to others. It's better if you stop comparing yourself to others and just do what makes you happy as long as God's OK with it. Right now, I know I could go work 50+ hours a week, have tons of money, but I feel happier having more time to do things I like. Yeah, sometimes I covet other people that have that, but then I realized when I was working 50 hours a week, I didn't even have time to cook meals for myself anymore. I think you have to learn to be grateful for what you have, learn to use what you have effectively, then you'll be granted more. I'm sorry, all my stuff is quite religious sounding, but it's true.
One difference compared to maybe a few people on this board, I'm not technically Aspergers. I was diagnosed NVLD, nonverbal learning disorder. I have a 130 verbal IQ, but my nonverbal is something like 80. I found this out after I went to jail and did a court psych eval. During the court eval, I certainly wasn't seeking any sort of diagnosis of any kind, I tried to be on my best behavior if you would, act as normal as I could, and got that. They basically said I was borderline Aspergers. I think also there was pressure to not DX me Aspergers, as with an Aspergers DX the court would have to be easier on me. After I got the diagnosis, I didn't think anything of it, as psychologists screwed up before many times with me. But the more I read about NVLD, and after another psychologist I actually got along with told me about the NVLD, then that's when I started realizing that the diagnosis was true.
NVLD, the big problem is, you're half a genius. But only half. It's pretty obvious in every post I write here, I write like essays. This is actually condensed from what my brain actually thinks. The "verbal" part of my brain is really good, and basically it has to compensate for a bad nonverbal part. I have to basically premeditate everything I do, I didn't realize other people didn't have to do this. Most of my issues with Aspergers/NVLD are kind of different, as I was sort of just "pushed" through my childhood. When I was a kid, people thought I was really smart, and they still do now, but I do really ditzy/dumb/weird things and people question my smartness. It's quite as odd, as since you're "smart" people expect so much of you, then you can't deliver, and it's sort of inexplicable why. I know technically how to do almost everything really, just the difference between my ability, and my...ability, is a lot. If everything is in exact conditions, I can do almost whatever I want, but then I end up not being able to do everything I know I can do. I end up with encyclopedic knowledge about almost anything imaginable, from, say, Sweden, to how to fix a sink, I can tell you about in detailed paragraphs, but then I end up getting stressed out like crazy dealing with driving my sisters to school in the morning.
The big thing too, because I kinda know everything, I tend to be incredibly hard on myself. I put myself to professional standards, probably to cover over lots of self esteem issues. In figure skating, my current hobby/obsession/whatever right now, at first, all I wanted to do was 3 turns. I'm doing it entirely myself, everything, with only advice from a few random old people I talk to at the rink, no coaching, only what I learn from talking to people, reading, and youtube. I'm doing very good, all things considered, for what my circumstances are. Like now I can 3 turn sort of OKish, but now that I've conquered the 3 turn, I wanna axel jump. Like, my expectations of myself are ridiculous, to be as good as some of the semi-pro people at the rink just by myself skating public session. That, and the other problem is, I have visual spatial issues, I can barely like...talk on my phone while driving, hell I get overwhelmed driving sometimes, meanwhile I got friends that can eat dinner with a knife and fork while driving. I'm not cut out for figure skating, but I do it anyway because it's fun and I just sort of go at it with massive determination compared to others. Maybe I'm just naturally gifted with determination, who knows. But yeah, I end up holding myself to super high unrealistic goals and standards, that are even high by normal people standards, and then I get pissed at my inability to do them sometimes. I think this is because I tend to fail at the "regular" goals people give me, so I try hard for my own special goals, to make me feel better.
The big thing for me, with all that said, I need to figure out priorities. I've learned in many cases, less is more. I'm tempted to just live in a van or buy some cheap land somewhere and build a simple house out of cargo containers or something. I realize if I tried as hard as I do, say, figure skating, to be a millionaire, then hell, I'd be a millionaire, just I'm not cognizant of all the sacrifices I'd have to do to get there, so I have to learn to not do everything I know I can do. I have to figure out what I want, vs what other people expect of me, what other people want me to do, etc, and weigh the consequences of all the actions.
Sorry for my long long confusing post.
One last bit of advice, try an anime club or anime convention. There's more lame nerdy people there than you can imagine, and you'll at least make some friends with like interests and socialize and whatever, if you want that sort of thing. Oh, and if you shower and shave it's like +10 points at an anime con. So do that, but if you don't, you won't be terribly abnormal.
I guess one theme in my post is "I tried ____, and the grass was not greener on the other side." It's best to try to learn to be happy with yourself, first, try to derive your happiness from your opinions on yourself, not others opinions, I think. Or maybe I'm dumb and completely wrong. Who knows, maybe I do, maybe I don't.
09 Oct 2011, 9:53 pm
MR20 you CAN get your GED you're not too "stupid" to get a GED. You need to get a positive attitude about things. You think way too lowly of yourself. I've read a good portion of your posts and they're full of self loathing. If you're unclean then take a shower. You're biggest problem is you've let yourself get defined by Asperger's. That's the one attitude I hate I absolutely hate it when people define themselves based on a "label" they've been given by a psychologist, or worse yet diagnosed themselves with it. I don't let Aspergers run my life at all, and because of that I've managed to learn how to cope. And in all honesty to the average person I just appear to be slightly odd, but not in a bad way. Most of my NT friends who do know about me having Asperger's think that I've outgrown it. And honestly I don't even tell people that I have it, and I'm fine with that. If I let Asperger's define me. I never would of gone to college, I never would of gotten a job, I never would leave the house, I never would of gotten my license. All these things are supposed to be extremely difficult for us, yet I was able to do most of them without difficult. I got fired from my first job, but then again most people AS or not do.
If you want to end this depression end this bitter feeling. Then you, yes you. Is the only person who can fix this. Tired of being poor? Get a job, at a grocery store stocking shelves 3rd shift. You don't need a GED to do that. As for people for treating you like s**t that's because you're "too nice" and you let people walk all over you. Be more assertive you can still be nice while being assertive and people will treat you better. Trust me everything that you complain about yourself. Can be improved it will take work, and that's the biggest part of it. Get off the internet, quit being so negative, and get out there and take steps to improve your life.
