WTF?

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I was once for a lot of things, stemming from being fired.

I couldn't imagine going to therapy because I can't get a date. I think I'd hate myself even more.

I'd do ANYTHING for some platonic female friends, but as soon as they get into a relationship they can't hang out any more because it'd be weird. Everything is regarded as romantic, when I'd just like to hang out.

I would've loved to have been friends with that woman on OKC, and it just killed me that she said she wouldn't even be emailing me anymore.

It's why I'm terrified to ask out my friends or coworkers, because then you lose the friendship, because one of the big lies women perpetuate is that they can remain friends with you. Friendzone is a goddamn lie.

i said platonic female friends, not female friends that you make a move on then expect to stay friends with.

i was thinking you might want to seek therapy for your anger, not for your lack of dates.

I could never, ever hurt anyone. I may vent my frustrations, but ultimately they are directed at me, for being an utter failure at seemingly everything. I get mad at myself, I hate myself for not improving, instead of getting the same results. I hate me for being so flawed.

you got pretty angry at that female. but you don't have to hit people or something for your anger to be damaging. indeed, even anger directed at yourself is destructive.

I guess I was mad a her for not braking our phone cal, but really I was mad at me for not being the kind of person she'd choose. I wish I could be anyone else.

I know it's personal for you.

But you have to remember it's not personal for most people. As someone already said, dating is talking to lots of people until you find one you want to start a relationship with.

If this is a problem you need to avoid dating, and simply get to know women as friends and try to let it develop from there. Solution. Meet heaps and heaps of people.

I'm very glad you didn't send that message to her you wrote here, because I know for a fact women take the piss out of men who do that.

Is it really worth getting worked up over someone of whom you really have no idea about personally?

I've been on both sides of that situation. At least she let you know. A lot of times you'll just never hear anything back.
She may have already been in a 'datey' situation with someone else and they decided to make it exclusive.

You have to realise that the grass isn't greener.

When I was in my early 20s I was so sick of men taking the piss out of me for being a virgin, I did something stupid and something REALLY awful happened.

Also, anyone who would choose an abusive relationship over no relationship at all does not know how horrible they are. They aren't worth it.

You must learn that there are worse things in life than no-one wanting to date you. Much worse.

I think I know what's going on here. Your self esteem is at an all time low because of the constant rejection. And ANY form of positive gratification from a woman will make you feel like you aren't completely repulsive.

I understand what you mean. I used to have little tolerance but Now I don't. You are hurting, and you feel like you want to know someone fancies you before you die. And that is fair enough.

All you can do from here is make yourself the best person you can be.

If it counts for anything, it probably wont, I like you reasonably enough (not in the boyfriend way, but trust me, I don't think much of a lot of people).

If someone sent me that letter, I would be so glad I picked another person over him and be so glad I stood him up on the phone. I would think that person has anger problems and who knows what he really be like in a relationship. Abusive or acting manipulative or control freak?

What kind of place do you live in? Do you have any special interests that could potentially be social in nature?

Have you ever considered taking a trip to a foreign country and trying your luck there? I can say from observation (but not actual personal participation on my part) that there have been quite a few guys who have very bad luck with dating in America, but have had much much better luck abroad. I know several guys who found it impossible to get a date in America, but have had much better luck with girls when they traveled overseas.

From my first hand observation, dating in many instances in certain foreign countries tends to be much simpler and straightforward than it does in America, or at least it's appeared that way on occasion to me. Maybe you should consider a change of scenery?

Hey, I am told I am handsome, told I look like someone famous, yet I am alone and not by choice. It sucks, friend.

This may be worth considering if you are wanting something like marriage. I've thought about the mail-order bride thing a lot. I'm wanting a partner to spend my life with but unfortunately I have very little luck except bad trying to find someone to give me a chance. Women see me as a guy they can turn to for emotional support when they are lonely or when they are upset with other guys or something. They won't give me a chance for anything more thou maybe because I'm friend-zoned or because they are not attracted to me or like me in that way for various reasons. I think they would like me if they gave me a eral chance because I'm very caring, supportive, loyal, devoted, sensitive, affectionate & loving but they won't give me that chance. I would totally try the mail-order bride route if I had the money & skills to travel but I don't. Someone sent me PM yesterday after reading my post in the Got Anything Random To Say Adult section suggesting that I volunteer at a homeless shelter. I like helping others when I can because there were lots of times in my life when I had problems & really had no one to turn to for support or sympathy. I'm not sure if there's any close by thou & I don't drive so transportation could be a problem; I need to disuses volunteering with my parents. I would defiantly make volunteering my main focus if I do something like that but I'd look for opportunities to make friends (I could use more because i have very few offline 1s) & I'd take things from there very slowly. Those ideas are out-side the box but the more typical things never worked for me. Maybe you would have better luck with someone outside the box too

Brianruns, the message you wrote out in your OP was an emotionally cold one and not a nice one to have received. Very matter of fact. It sounded like a covert attempt to put you down. I'd rather just be ignored and so realise that way things weren't going anywhere, then receive any sort of negative message. Dating sites sound rough enough from everything I hear about them.

It is quite understandable for you to be showing such angry and frustrated feelings under the circumstances of involuntary celibacy. I understand it's an excruciating thing which can leave you so vulnerable. Just don't fight fire back with even more fire. Anyone who has given Brianruns verbal abuse or aimed derogatory language at him in this thread should be ashamed of themselves and should lay off him.

I've only just read this thread and I tend to think that the girl wasn't entirely honest with Brian. If you make a telephone date with someone you shouldn't be arranging other meetings with other people. I am inclined to think that she did that.

What Brianruns feels is entirely normal- it's like that Streisand song "People who need people..." When you're single, there's always a nagging desire to hook up with that special person. Even though sometimes people who've been hurt try to ignore that urge. In my experience, it's hard to have platonic friends of the opposite sex because there's always a tension ( can you be sure that the other person wants it to stay platonic..)

As a man, Brianruns shouldn't give up trying. A faint heart never won a fair maiden. Keep trying- I know that it's a hard process- but keep trying to make contact with women. Women have it a bit easier, because they can just wait for someone to approach them. But as a rule, women don't approach men directly.

I'm not used to the idea of dating sites- so I don't know if this is a healthy thing or not. But try places like the supermarket, or going on those adventure holidays with a group of young people. I wish you luck with it, Brianruns.