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Yeah so I got a little carried away feeling guilty...

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Sweetleaf
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08 Oct 2012, 2:19 pm

AnAlias wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
lostgirl1986 wrote:
Stop saying "I am a junkie" and "I am a pathetic waste of life" because if you keep repeating this over and over in your head it'll become a self fulfilling prophecy. Start saying, "I'm an intelligent girl with lots of potential" and "I have a long life ahead of me with ups and downs but I will get through them."

Tried that and it didn't work.

Don't say that stuff about yourself, don't worry about what other people think of you. Everybody has problems, every problem is different from other problems but every single person in this world has them. You can get better but you have to find a will. You're living and you communicate on this website in the Haven so I know there's a will deep down inside of you. If you have a drug problem it's nothing to be ashamed of, you can get help. I've been down that road, it's not fun but you can survive through it.


Well if its true why not say it?
The only people who are truly hopeless are those who have no desire to get better. The fact that you are capable of recognizing your problems already removes you from the "junkie" and "pathetic waste of life" categories. Getting medication for your addictions is an excellent start. The next question you have to ask is what do you want to do with your life? I can tell just by reading these few posts that you are smart, and you probably think you will never be able to find any truly rewarding employment for your intelligence. You think any job you will be able to get will be a pointless mind-numbing waste of your time, or that you will be too weak for it and will fail. There are many of us who have been in exactly that position, and thought that same thing, but there is a world out there to explore, if you can only crawl out from the hole you have found yourself in and see it. I am very sorry you have had bad experiences with the world you have seen. It is a big world, and very easy to get lost. Rely on me and some of the others in this thread and on this forum, and we can show you the good parts.


Good god a I really screwed up with the title of this.......its not addictions I am worried about, it is my mental health really sucking and the need to take meds or drugs to alleviate the pain. Also I have no bloody idea what I want to do with my life aside from get away from all the BS you know have some property with a greenhouse to grow awesome plants I feel like growing and maybe some people living with me like a little commune....away from all the bullcrap that goes on in society. But I don't think I will live long enough to even try and go about following through with that plan.

I am not going to find rewarding employment in this society since I am basically opposed to everything about this society, being a contributing member of society is not my dream, I hate this society.


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Sweetleaf
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08 Oct 2012, 2:24 pm

b9 wrote:
if you won 2 million dollars, what would you do? would that solve your problems? or do they go deeper than poverty and lack of opportunity?
i know that you have ptsd, but if your future was secure and you had no financial worries, would you still feel awful?
i feel sorry for you because you are a very decent person and i have never experienced hopelessness and despair like you do.
i hope you can find a way to move forward and out of your current situation because i would not be able to tolerate it if it was happening to me.

what would it take for you to have a permanent state of "peace of mind"?


If I won 2 million dollars it wouldn't solve my problems, it would help reimburse people for money they've borrowed me maybe go to trying to pay of college loans and finding a new living situation then the rest would be for just whatever. But I don't imagine it would fix any of the underlying issues.

And well I don't know how I'd react if my future was secure and had no financial worries, since I've never been in that position.

And I really don't know starting to feel I wont have any bloody peace till I'm dead.


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