My acquaintance, a Nice Guy™ *TW Rape

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// Light, platonic, non-clingly, friendly air-hugs

That is terrible. I am so sorry. Take him to court.

You know its hard to find words for something like this because when you hear about this happening to someone you feel very sorry about what they had to go thru and the unfairness of being an innocent victim. My thoughts are a bit confused but what came to me was two things. One was that from the beginning, there have always been people who would live peaceably and those who preyed on others. This is the landscape of humanity that we were born into and live in. It is not our fault that the villains are there, and we can only be held accountable for we do. There is no blame for you in this. The other thing is that when something like this happens it is very easy to freeze up & I would never look down on anyone for doing so as it is a shock to the system. I might freeze in that situation myself. My impression here is that you have a big heart that reaches out to others. But you also have a stout heart. You broke the rapist's nose & damaged his eyes. Pretty awesome!

note: i am removing posts any subsequent posts that are focused on self-defense, prevention, guns, etc. this is The Haven, not PPR. i understand some people's reactions to reading something traumatic is to charge in with "solutions", but really - it is not helpful with this. she hasn't asked for any solutions, and the posts come across as frankly insensitive.

Well, at least now I know WHY you hate me so much... I hope you get the guy and the charge sticks because genuinely abusive, dangerous a**holes who rape, kick and attack others are not only a danger to their victims, but also tarnish the entire gender or ethnicity they represent. Hell - I wish I could send you money to continue the fight against this a**hole. (If I did that I wouldn't be able to mount my own legal fight to rescue my kidapped children.)

I on the other hand have a good bit of contempt for the fella, kinda tired of his sociopathic shenanigans.

I'm glad I'm not alone in seeing it. Other than that I find all of the responses overwhelmingly supportive. Yesterday I got mad about the gun response because while it could hypothetically serve me in future situations, it feels like a statement of "You could've protected yourself." and the thing is, I shouldn't have to worry about protecting myself, especially in my home.

Two reasons it is no good for me to own a gun, while this can't be proven in court, he moved my pepper spray out of my nightstand. He had the forethought to look for a weapon, and had I been keeping a gun somewhere he looked, he could've used it against me.

The second reason is that I have very severe depressive episodes and sometimes... it's just no good, I can't keep a gun in my house. I can't.

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I really appreciate that. I know you had good intentions, sorry I reacted so harshly about it.

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Oh Meems, I've just seen this. How hideous. I'm so sad and sorry for what this vile toerag has done to you.

You're in my thoughts and I hope your healing can begin soon. I'm in awe of you trying to fight him and your strength in reporting this and determination to see this through to court. I hope you get justice and he loses his liberty for a very long time.

I hope soon he'll be locked up, you won't have to see him on the streets and you can walk with your head up high again and be a survivor.

As for those so-called-Christian counsellors, their attitudes to you are anything but Christian. You were attacked, you did nothing to blame yourself for, don't ever doubt that for a second. All shame & blame is on the scumbag, none on you.

You didn't do anything wrong - you're not to blame in any way.

Your story is quite astonishing, not least because of the incredible courage that you've shown even when the situation has clearly crushed you. It's of no value to you, I know, but you have my absolute and undiminished respect.

One more thing (in answer to other posts), maybe it's because I'm English but I'm really not sure that buying a gun is the answer to anything!

I kinda want to use this thread to vent but I doubt I will as soon as school starts again. I really hope I can sort of pretend things aren't a nightmare, even if that's unhealthy and escapist.

I got really sick and spent most of this morning on my bathroom floor, and I kept nodding off and then I'd wake up and be afraid someone was in my house which is just a weird feeling.

I think writing this all out might've been a bad idea because I've been having little panic attacks ever since I posted it, that last like two or three seconds, and it's like being electrocuted. I keep dropping things and I keep feeling like I'm just about to throw up.

I don't know if I've actually said this much stuff altogether about it since the first week or two after it happened. I kind of feel really sick just typing this or thinking about leaving my house.

I've been mumbling and stuttering just a little. I feel like that's only recently started but who knows how long that might've been going on without my even noticing it.

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You are under a lot of stress right now and I know well from experience that high levels of stress can and will cause immediate and significant physiological reactions. Ones I recall at the moment, have been pain, nausea, a nervous tick of the cheek, temporay hair loss, almost unbearable anxiety. They will however subside once the stress levels go back down. At the moment its a battle getting thru every day & just try and focus on each day one at a time. Some activity that occupies your mind but doesn't require real thought might help. I have used video games since they game out. Not the fast or intense ones, but long lasting kinda zen ones. Do what you need to do to get to tommorrow. Your a survivor and are going to get thru this in time. This is a very deep valley to cross but it is not endless and you will start to rise up the other side. The future is not the same as the past.

(P.S. A close friend used to get an eye twitch when really stressing. One day when working in a very tight location on one of the tracked vehicles together, a long tool he held braced against his temple touched a live circuit and he shocked his face. He jerked his head back violently and was speechless for a moment and then looked at me and said "Its gone!" I asked him what was gone, and he said his eye tick was gone. After that I sometimes called him shockface and would jokingly try to touch him with a live wire for his 'treatment' whenever he got his tick back.)

Sweet Pea hugs