Depression - anyone beat this f*****g thing yet?

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Running helps me, but I've not been running for a while so I've been a bit up and down lately.

I use mirtazapine, and I have managed to get it down to 15mg from 45, so I reckon I'm doing ok.

I don't think I'll ever come off them fully though.

Focused on finding a partner first rather than trying to find new friends to get to know and socialize with. But on the brightside, it brought me to a better understanding of who I am regardless.



Wow, what happened?[/quote]

Noone likes having their beliefs attacked or told that we shouldn't have faith in something because of what they believe. Ie. arguing that "God doesn't exist and those who believe so are morons" or how "Buddhism doesn't work in today's society. You have to take what you want regardless of who gets hurt." Or having your experience disregarded even though you were older than this person and were wiser to the BS of this world, but they knew better than you somehow and even tried to convince you that.

you've got to get the exertion long and hard enough to where the endorphins kick in. at least half-hour at 90% of your endurance power.

I am going to speak from my own personal experiences here.

For me, it was comfortable to stay in my depression. It was comfortable, because change is frightening. Change always involves risk, and it was far more comfortable to say in a miserable spot than it was to step outside of the bitter self-pity that I was in.

I realized that I was settling for less than what I wanted out of life, and that I had no real reason to. Yes, I have Asperger syndrome. Yes, I am an addict (now in recovery). Yes, I have issues with social ineptness in the world around me. Yes, I have a speech impediment that brings out the prejudice of many people in my life.

But I have a right to every thought, feeling and opinion that I have. Everybody has that right. Everybody has the right to find who he wants to be.

I am focusing on building myself up. I had to make the choice to dismiss the words and actions of those who would strike me down. Advocating for myself was horrifyingly difficult at first. But it got easier over time. I am glad that I decided to pick up my sword and shield, and face that fear.

But I did not do it alone. None of us have to do it alone. None of us are terminally unique. I found others of like mind. I made integrating these people into my life a priority. I found ways to make myself helpful to them, and I slowly got over the fear I had of asking for help when I genuinely needed it. It's not perfect, but I'm learning.

People are telling me now that my speech pattern sounds more NT as time passes on. Not quite - my speech impediment is still very much there. But my vocal modulations have improved, and my matter of talking is no longer far too fast for most people to understand.

I pulled myself out of a massive pit of despair that I was in. I had to reach a point where the addictions and the isolation left me with an ultimatum. Either I was going to leap off a bridge to a watery grave, or I was going to reach my hand out for help. I am grateful I chose the latter option today.

I still have days where depression overpowers me. Many of my recent Haven posts are proof of that. But it is getting better. My worst days today are so much better than my best days were two years ago. I am a work in progress.

I hope this helps somebody here.

EDIT - I noticed blatant typos, and my OCD nature just could not allow that to stand. Hehehe.

Last edited by KagamineLen on 08 Feb 2014, 5:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

^^^

-- oops --

Last edited by The_Perfect_Storm on 10 Feb 2014, 11:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

Your post didn't particularly resonate well with me except for this bit, probably because I have no friends, no particular ambition and kind of hate almost everything about myself, but my voice IS changing as time passes on.

Not 'more NT' or anything like that, just more British ;o (I'm Australian)

You can rest assured that your posts resonate with me because I was in that spot for many years of my life.

Thank you. That's an excellent response!