I Got Jailed Again!

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Well than keep in mind support workers and therapists are professionals doing their job, not your buddies/best friends or potential dates. If you don't need care-givers don't have them if you do...well remember its their job they aren't coming and hanging out with you on spare time to make friends. They are doing their job and probably have other clients/patients aside from you they also have to work with.

If you cannot stand this fact about caretakers/mental health support workers..then I guess you'll need to learn to pay bills, shop, play pool and go for walks by yourself.

somehow I am doubting they were 'nothing out of the ordinary text messages' I mean if this is the initial thing that started this whole ordeal you've been going through I imagine something in the content of the texts could have been problematic and out of the ordinary.

...So , what were the clothes ? And , my understanding is that , after the 3 months , you got bail , which you were not allowed before ` which means that , as of now , you are out on bail until a later trial ? So , you paid bail to get out as you are now ~ ?
I think I'm on some knd of " suspended/unapplied sentence " status for the next year and non-supervised probation ~ Plus , I can't get a drivers' liscence for the next year either !


="PeterHoping44"]Nah. The clothes were fine. And being fully committed meant I was in jail until the trial.[/quote]

Reporting harassment is not 'grassing', harassment is not ok. I realise you feel very attached to these women, but they have a RIGHT to feel safe, and to be left alone. They don't owe you anything. People don't report harassment willy-nilly, it's a last resort, usually out of fear.

For the life of me, I can't imagine ever wanting to inflict myself upon people who have made it clear that they want no contact with me. Why would you want to frighten them further? Why can't you consider the possibility that you have caused harm, and they are the victims?

Dude, I take it you don't recall me posting all the examples of what these workers did in my previous threads. Well, I'll just explain it once.

I was lonely years ago because I lost touch with an ex-girlfriend. This was a girl I met in 2005 when I was involved with The Prince's Trust. We did not date for very long. She was just a liar. She asked me out when I met her in a charity shop. There was a show in Edinburgh called Live 8 that day, and some customers in Barnardo's gave us their tickets, and she asked me out. Although it was random of her, I was just glad to have someone to date, being that I was single and a virgin. We never actually had sex in 2005. We did in 2012, though.

For some bizarre reason, I never really got over losing her in 2005 as she was my first and only girlfriend for a very long time until I met Linzi, and everybody found it perplexing as to why I was so obsessed with gaining a reunion with someone who was more or less just a fling. We split up because I just stopped going out to her area. Her younger, annoying friends kept on harassing me, so I decided not to go back. She lied one time I was asked to see her. She told me they were grounded and that it was OK to see her, so I got a bus there. Before I even arrived, I was thinking, yeah, Laura is probably telling fibs. And I was correct.

In 2007, I went back to try to see her. I was forced to resign from a shop I worked in for 9 months after pushing a girl named Stefanie into a stack of DVD's when I was infatuated with her. Unfortunately Laura had only just moved. Her family were certainly still there in late 2006 as my mother and sister went there to check on me, as I'd been hinting to going back there, yet I did not go there. They just assumed maybe I'd be there. Nobody answered the door, but they were there. Their dog Robbie barked.

I reckon I missed her by a matter of weeks / months. Think how that felt for me. So I went on Gumtree. Users on Gumtree can list advertisements, therefore I put up adverts asking people if they knew her whereabouts (not exactly stalking). All I got was tormented. This guy calling himself Bruce Ritchie who was in fact a support worker called Patrick, started emailing me over the next 2 years (something like 2008 to 2010) just winding me up something awful, and putting in all these snide references to 80's bands he knows I like, such as Tears for Fears and The Smiths, and he admitted it was him doing all the emailing, and he named Laura's schools and says he'd be intrigued if I knew where he got the facts. The scary thing is, he's old enough to be my father, and should NOT have been doing this.

This was after all the painful years of being crapped on by strangers online that I never even knew personally. Yet it was no less hurtful to experience this abuse. I've even got my own Encyclopedia Dramatica page, full of garbage about me that all these sickos authored to mock me.

So I did indeed find Laura in 2012 as I was saying. What did she do? Among other things, she emotionally hurt me. She was very briefly my girlfriend again. I'd purchased an iPod for her as she threw a tantrum and she damaged it severely. She mangled the connection dock. Don't ask me how. She was really bad at trying to jam in cables the wrong way, as I observed her doing this before. In fact, she damaged one of the controller ports on my Xbox 360.

Anyway, she did tons of horrible things to me. Then one time, Joanna was supporting me in front of Laura. I'd always found Joanna to be quite intelligent. OK, being a worker, she was hardly GF material, but I was rather lonesome and fed up. Attempts to get a GF before had failed horribly, so I was agitated. I had just sent one text. Just one. I asked her out. She freaked out.

Her seniors gave me one random shift with her months later at one of these Number 6 party type events. A guy made me lose the pool comp by being an arse and she just said, 'You will not be thinking about it tomorrow...' as if to say, who cares?

Despite being promised more shifts, they lied. Then the same thing occurred with Sara. Somebody told her I mentioned her on forums and he told her but never warned me. She was OK for a while, then I asked her why she chose this career. She then said she may go to South America. She said it just to test me.

That same week, I text her 'petal' (that was it) and then she FINALLY revealed on the bus going home that she knows I like her. She denied saying she was going to South America. On every shift thereafter, she bullied me and made me feel awkward. She was doing the sleepover on Xmas Eve in 2013 in fact, and moved her bar stool to the sink, saying 'I'm stretching my legs' and she picked on me on Boxing Day. All I did was remove my glasses on Calton Hill in Edinburgh because I do not like heights.

Then in February of last year, we made a cake and had a good laugh. It was like the Sara of old was back. After that, the same guy who lied over Joanna said Sara was still my key worker but just key working somebody else temporarily. He was grinning so I thought he was lying. Then I confronted Sara one day, as weeks had went by with no shifts. But I messed up by sending a nasty email to her, calling her a jilt. Then I went to a meeting and was told I cannot work with J and S again.

I pleaded for months to get another chance but they refused and I felt low. I did try to be nice about things. Then once I messed up and ended up in jail, they just had the cheek to say things were not handled properly.

Well, take it at face value. They stitched me up and many people in prison thought it was dumb me being there over a silly breach. After all, while they may be scared of me, all I wanted was to apologize and try again. You know?

Peter, did you read the link I posted yesterday? If you did, what did you take from that?

1) So if people harass YOU, you have the right to not be subjected to it?

2) You physically harmed someone because you were 'infatuated' with them. Does this seem reasonable to you?

3) Had you posted an advert asking her to contact you, I'd agree that it's not stalker behaviour. But you were asking others to reveal her whereabouts, d you see the difference?

4) You're very good at at observing, and judging, others' misdeeds. Yet, all the way through this post, and your previous posts, you talk about your own actions with indifference, even the actions that others might consider horrifying.

5) Of course she freaked out, she was involved with you in a professional capacity, you didn't respect the boundaries.

6) It is never ok to send abusive messages to someone, just because you perceive that they have let you down.

7) They didn't - they don't - want to 'try again', they don't owe you anything, not even the opportunity to apologize. You don't seem to respect the fact that they have a right not to be subjected to a risky, fear-inducing situation. Your desire to see them does NOT trump their right to not be harassed by a client - or by anyone!

I don't know why you guys are bothering trying to reason with this guy. He doesn't see that he's wrong because he doesn't WANT to see that he's wrong, and I don't think he's ever going to change his mind. Guys like this rarely do, and it's why they end up in prison. He will either be forced into psychotherapy by a court (which will probably not be effective because it will be forced and not chosen by himself), or he will end up in prison for eventually killing one of the objects of his obsessions. That is the pattern. I'm thinking by his demonstrated lack of compassion for anyone but himself in his description of his actions against others, it will be the latter and we will be reading about him one day on the news, the people he has killed in his spree shooting, and his rambling manifesto justifying his actions because everyone was mean to him and didn't give him what he wanted (access to the women he likes to harass).

I wish people would stop giving me such a hard time over what I did to them. They're not totally innocent and all the accusations that I am crazy is not right either. I've always been a 'people person' and that means I put others before me. I'm not sure what I even did in the beginning to make them turn on me, other than "scare" them. If that Robert guy hadn't been a whistle-blower over Sara, then Sara may have been none the wiser about me having a crush on her, because I could have still appreciated her as just a support worker until the day she departed from Autism Initiatives, like I did with Ruth (even if that was tough to accept as well). All Robert's blabbing achieved was a slow evident stabbing in the back. You couldn't have asked initially for a nicer key worker and this was a major opportunity wasted.

Yes, I get that the texts bothered the both of them back then, but it was not like it was habitual. Maybe if I'd bugged the **** out of them on every shift thereafter and threatened them, at least AT THE TIME, they'd have a case. It was just that they felt jumpy.

Well, OK. If they really didn't care to support me again, their bosses should have been honest about this and not strung me along. It wasn't right that they lied which got me curious about being deceived. They knew I'd been subjected to hurtful and deceitful acts online over the years so they should not have been so insensitive. The last thing I needed was for them to add to it. I was still reeling from being used by Laura. Well, fine. She used me because I allowed it, but I kind of felt like I loved her.

Ruth was a lady I liked, but she eventually left her job. However, she left with no animosity and therefore, we ended things on very good terms. The way we had to as we were not true friends, but we liked each other as two people.

Joanna and Sara won't be leaving with good memories of me. They erred and I was an arse as well. It's not just about what I did.

Dude, you are an obsessive stalker. Get help before you hurt someone irrevocably. Your obsessions are ruining YOUR OWN LIFE, can't you see that? Get help.

Once again, it's all about how I behaved. Have you not thought that maybe I felt betrayed by being lied to? As much as I begged, I was left hurt.

Perhaps it was their professional opinion that they needed to mislead you, they might have considered it dangerous not to, given your history, and unpredictability.

You say you're a 'people person', but from your posts I would say that you consider your own feelings to be infinitely more important than those of others. ''Yes, I get that the texts bothered the both of them back then, but it was not like it was habitual. Maybe if I'd bugged the **** out of them on every shift thereafter and threatened them, at least AT THE TIME, they'd have a case. It was just that they felt jumpy.'' You are putting conditions on whether or not other people have grounds to be afraid of you. You can't do that, it's not your call.

Robert did not 'blab', he voiced concern over your lack of respect for his colleague's professional boundaries. These people were not your friends, you were their client. If a child at school did something alarming/inappropriate, and the teachers conferred, that would not be 'back-stabbing', that would be the teachers doing their job.

I think Robert made the right call, based on the information in these posts. You don't give the impression of someone who would be satisfied having carer/client relationship with someone you have romantic feelings for, and Sara had a right to know, so that she could make an informed decision.

I hope you take responsibility for your harmful behaviours soon, and change your ways.

Mate, I was remanded in jail three ******* times and branded as a sex offender, all because of wanting to make amends with Sara and Joanna, and for acting like a total twit when it did not go my way! NOBODY forgets that (being locked up). It came after, what? Dozens of people on the Internet and offline making a downright arse of me for well OVER a decade, which was not a fun experience. It was painfully prolonged and very lonesome as well. Hell, all I actually wanted was to fit in. No wonder I kind of acted viciously in return.

There was a time when I met so many (at least back then) great people, either online or in person, that I would gladly have at some point put in my top ten 'best of' lists. Yet I am clearly delusional if I still think they care about me just now. I'm probably so attached to them all in an unhealthy manner because they were nice once, so I cherish that. If only THAT one time they were cool, it doesn't matter. It touched my heart. But how is it that people can act so "decent" on the initial meeting but then later ending up turning 'my world' (such as it is) upside down? Something tells me that once I started the 'poor pitiful me' horse shite, they all smelled, 'Peter is an exploitable wimp...' and like sharks to blood in the water, quickly and promptly tore me to pieces. However, being a loner and a nice guy, I still have "HIGH REGARDS" for them after all that occurred. That makes me a moron.

Mary. Laura. Patrick. Sara. Joanna. Linzi.

Sad and misguided. Huh? I keep seeing a pattern.

Yes, the pattern is you: pushing people away with your unstable, entitled, selfish, stalkerish behaviour, and your belief that your sick behaviour towards people is justified because "people online" have wronged you in the past. Your thinking is obsessive and pathological, and people pick up on that and want to get away from you because no one wants to be around an obsessive stalker. GET HELP before you hurt someone. You are not entitled to revenge when you feel like people haven't given you whatever you wanted out of a relationship. You are very sick and seemingly incapable of taking responsibility for your own behaviour. Please get help, as in check yourself into a psych ward, before you hurt someone. PLEASE--you are very unwell and if you don't get help you will either seriously hurt someone or completely ruin your life, but most likely both. Do you really want that?

Take it from me. It ain't a lot of fun when anxiety holds ya back from getting popular, everybody around you that you like betrays your trust, and nefarious people are doing all that shite to rile you up. The net however, it's unstable.

However, I'm sure y'all will say I deserved it as usual, despite not knowing these characters beyond my paraphrasing.

Last edited by PeterHoping44 on 02 Sep 2015, 3:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Getting very skilled help is your only alternative to an horrific miserable wreckage of a future. You are delusional.
Your denial and self-justification is so entrenched, so toxic, that it is poisoning your soul.