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One of them wasn't aspie, she was NT but she had mental issues and I don't know what was wrong with her so I don't consider her a true NT but she was not on the spectrum. She was upset over a joke i did when I said she must have an aspie fetish because she was on this forum and so secretive about why she is here. What is the big secret about being here and why is it so personal? Weird. And it was someone else here who brought it up and I joked about the term aspie fetish. I didn't think it was a big deal and I forgot all about it and I had no idea she was offended until she brought it up months later when she was posting in the adult autism issues instead of in the L&D section because that was where she only posted, now she was posting in the adult autism issues so as a joke I asked if this was a new section for her to give people advice in and she flew off a handle and got all hostile on me and calling me a troll and using my April Fools joke against me I posted in the GAD section and also brought up the aspie fetish comment. I did apologize to her and she didn't get off my back so yeah she had issues and didn't deserve my apology in the first place.

innocent words can often get twisted as they are sucked into the drain pipe of general people's understanding. (clockwise in the northern hemisphere)

i think of you something like that girl in pygmalion (i will look it up)..eliza doolittle who sings "oh woooodn tit be loverley", but i think that that personality is possibly a reaction formation in order to shroud yourself in an air of unassuming innocence and therefore protect yourself from the barbs of unkind appraisal, but i do not know you in real life so i pay no heed to my inklings in that respect.
i did not see the wranglings on the forum that have caused you angst so i can not comment on them, but i always read what you post.
i think you have a rich sense of humour which is is seldom perceived by those who do not wonder why you used the words you did.

brevity is the soul of wit. often, just a few words from you can be hilarious.

anyway i guess i am waxing lyrical but i hope you can withstand whatever bad feeling you are feeling due to whatever has happened and realise that the world has 7 billion people and there is bound to be people who disagree and admonish.
if only 10% of them do not like you and disagree with you, then if they all were in the same place at the same time and you were in the middle it would seem like a pretty dismal situation among 700 million angry dissenters, but that is just the way the planet is.

Thank you b9...I always enjoy your posts as well.



I've got that song in my head now. Thanks for that.

"woooooouldn't it be lovely..."

I think I actually do sing that around my flat sometimes you know?

hahahaha....

It's tea time here anyway.

when you add the word "me" to the end of some of your sentences it augments the flavour of the pygmalion theme.

i can not remember any of your sentences verbatim, but when you say something like "i'm always alert me" it conveys a certain accent.

i have practiced a related accent a bit in the past, and i found it kind of fluent but also funny. here is a sound bite of me about 3 years ago practicing an "east ender old hag" accent (i am not inferring it is similar to yours) that i posted on this site a long time ago in a thread about dialects. i like to vocalize in alternative ways.

http://www.soundclick.com/player/single ... 85478&q=hi

Oh right.

I've gone a bit deaf because Ive got flu, so i couldn't really hear it properly.

I've never even heard of Pygmalion before me.

I think that people who say their real thoughts are best kind, and I like people who are able to say them without apologies and disclaimers. I know a few NTs/BAPs/autistics like this, and I find them most likable. They all have friends. People who are super sensitive and require apologies when others make general comments not directed at them are least likable. I think apology is only necessary when you actively wrong a person, e.g. personally attacking them when one is angry and speaking from anger without regard for anything else, e.g. wronging them in some way from something major that most people wouldn't do to something minor that most people have done to someone. These things are usually in offline situations instead of online forum posting, so on wp, there would be fewer reasons to apologize if one is just posting and reading others' posts. It is particularly disturbing when some people think that others should apologize for just posting their real thoughts in a blunt way, which is my main point about autism forums being relaxed about social rules and social-emotional things.

Please don't stop posting, babybird.
I love your posts!

I still don't understand how your words upset people.
Is honesty to be corrected now?

I work in a service industry.
I'm very patient, but sometimes I find myself wishing my more abusive clients would meet with a particularly painful series of unfortunate events.
This is called being human.

Don't stop being the beautiful human you are.

*hugs*

I'm ok Raleigh...thank you.

Those were bad jokes. I'm made fun of from some of my NT "friends" for being on Aspie sites and one even has an 8 yr old son who has AS. It's very upsetting and pisses me off. I don't get the joke at all - it's not funny. I almost told this one co-worker "friend" off, but I have to work with her. Any jokes that involve anything about NT vs Aspie is not funny - especially on an Aspie site or an NT site.

And it did sound like you were singling her out IMO.

I'm not talking about someone saying general comments in a discussion and I'm not "super sensitive" as you put it. If you don't understand what I'm saying in regards to apologies, I'm not explaining it any further - just read this thread and maybe you can understand how apologizing can change a whole relationship between two people.

And someone who never apologizes because they think they never have any reason to, I see as disturbing.

Angela,

Please don't let him get to you.

Fnord

I am not talking about you in particular, I am just commenting about general phenomenon for which I did not have you in mind. I find that people often take my comments personally and get mad, when I am talking about general phenomenon, and they perceive as personal attack. I only quoted your post because your post brought this to mind for me.

In many matters, there is no right or wrong, only different perspectives. I would apologize if I knew I was wrong like if I told a student wrong information about a topic, but I would not apologize if there is not right or wrong, like if I disagree with someone, or comment about some topic in general, e.g. that I am against self-diagnosis, then they take it personally and say I hurt their feelings, but in that situation, I don't think I should apologize for saying my true thoughts. If I called them a stupid faker when I got mad, then that is situation for apology, as I think it is wrong to call others stupid fakers, that is too mean, but if I said that I think self-diagnosis is invalid process, then I would not apologize to anyone who said I hurt their feelings by that kind of statement.

I think that people on wp should be allowed to say their real thoughts without apologies, as long as they follow forum rules and don't personally attack others. It is too oppressive to always be engaging in unintuitive social dynamics on an autism forum. Also it is harder for autistic people to predict what would make others mad or trigger other emotions. Another thing I almost never do compared to most people is I don't thank others for supporting me in an argument, as I have observed people do here. I don't get into social dynamics, only the content of the argument.

Well I did apologize at least and other members here have had issues with her so at least I know it wasn't just me. Even a moderator looked through her posts and it was very obvious to him that she was here because her ex was and she was here to read stuff by him. No wonder she was so private about it and she would freak out when she would get asked why is she on here. I see it as no different than going to a parenting group without a child and other parents asking you why are you there or someone without kids joining the Kinky Parents Fetlife group and others would also want to know why they are there if they have no kids. It's not that personal so I don't see why the big secret, no one is going to care if you are there because you know someone with autism or are in a relationship with one or have a kid with it. Keeping it private and going "none of your business" is going to make people suspicious and assume the worst which is that other member did and then I mentioned the word aspie fetish as a joke because the other member said something about it too. I never had anything against her and I never thought about why she is here. I always joked with myself I have an aspie fetish so I guess she missed that about me. But after her behavior with me, now I do have something against her and since then I had discovered she had went bonkers on other members as well. But she did happen to be right with her accusations about two WP members though according to the WP mod. And I do think it is creepy to be on a forum just to stalk your ex.