Horrible Communication on WP

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Just get it over with, buddy.

Holy cow...

TheFeels.mp3

DCJ, what would need to happen for you to see yourself as learning and growing, rather than failing? It sucks that you've had a really rough night. Don't cancel your doctor's appointment. It sounds like you've worked yourself up so mmuch that the actual experience has to be way better than the waiting and worrying. I know I've done that before, and then sometimes I laugh afterwards.

I'm sure that half the stuff I'm concerned about at the moment isn't a big deal.

Hope you are able to make it to the doctors. You've put so much energy into thinking/worrying about the appointment that it would be a waste to cancel it; you'll only end up having to go through all this again if you reschedule.

If you go then at least you'll get a little lift from having successfully left the house, I know it's hard though, I've been there

I would need the people that I have hurt in my life to tell me that. Problem is they didn't, they said I was horrible person and I wouldn't have believed it from one or even two but everyone says so thus it must be true. Not everyone has a reason to lie, my insane neighbor on crack might but not everyone does. That would not be realistic.

I love everyone but I don't know how to show it, that is a failure.

I have got to get ready to go, I'll be back in an hour and have about 45 minutes to spare and then I am gone... unfortunately

Good luck, maybe listen to some music on the way there to get in the zone? Well done for going, anyway, it takes a lot of effort I know

Have you tried intensitysquared? There are barely any rules there and you can be yourself more there. People there are usually thick skinned and there isn't much censorship except for spamming.

Its time...

Almost brought tear to my eye, I have to leave

Wish me luck

Good luck man

It doesn't seem like most of those people are going to be on your side any time soon, and you can still be a good person without them.

One technique I've found helpful is to take steps to attempt to change the situation. If I'm not trying, then I feel like I'm failing by default. Are there small steps you could take, maybe some small conversations you could have? Any chance you might actually believe people when they disagree with the people from your past?

What does success mean to you? If you can define different levels of success, and focus on that, maybe people could offer suggestions on how to get there. Otherwise, you'll be caught in the endless loop of, I'm awful, no you're not, and on and on.

Finally, do you ever give yourself credit for anything? How about the fact that you successfully forced yourself out of the house, onto that bus, and into the doctor's office today? What about the times you offer words of encouragement to others, or share your knowledge, or make someone laugh? When something is hard, and you try and try and finally do it, shouldn't that mean something? Isn't it better to build on the bits of positivity you can find?

I won't say its outside of the realm of possibility but it would be difficult to reprogram my brain cause I have analyzed the situation and I have concluded that I suck socially and I totally see where people are coming from. In my barely coherent rant to my doctor today, I even went as far as to say that the mental health system has treated me somewhat fairly for the way I have presented myself. The problem is I didn't present myself accurately to who I was, miscommunications made a lot of situations worse then they had to be.



A career and a family and all that bs but I am unlovable and I can't work and I don't even want those things anymore. As much of a screw up as I am, I don't need to involve anyone else. A college degree would be nice but I am too scared to go and whats the point? I can't work with a degree if I can't leave to get the degree in the first place. I could complete my associates with a few classes in one semester. The only thing I need is math really which is hard for me so I would be challenged both academically and socially. Hell to the no on that



There is a slight detail that might change your mind about leaving the house being a success. Anyway, I'll keep it to myself. I think I do see a lot of positivity, the problem is just I am so broke from last year that even those bits of positivity don't do much. They keep me from jumping out the window I guess but the negativity is so large that it over powers the positivity. I also find it hard to believe I do the things you describe, I only feel a sense of accomplishment after technical projects... and Dark Souls lol

No, that doesn't mean you're a failure----it only means that you haven't learned HOW to show it, yet; and, I might add..... If you tried to show someone you cared for them, and they weren't responsive / receptive / whatever, that may only mean that what you did, didn't "work", for THEM----it might NOT mean, it wouldn't "work" for somebody else.

We've ALL gotta learn how to do things----if we fail with one method, we try another! No matter how many times we get smacked-down, we've gotta get up and try again----otherwise, we can't complain that we're lonely and nobody loves us, or whatever.

As old as I am (I'll be 55 in a couple of weeks), I'm STILL learning----cuz, I'm STILL making errors; BUT, I just keep goin', cuz..... (see above)

If your communication hasn't always reflected who you truly are, then you're admitting that you're better than your social skills.

Also, if some of your problems with the mental health system were due to communication issues on both sides, then what would happen if you tried again with new therapists and presented your situation differently?





Why define your success using things you don't want? How about things you do? As for involving others, I hope that will gradually come back to you as you find the strength to have encounters with people now and then, and you realize they won't all go wrong. Might there be strategies you haven't tried?





That makes sense while you're focused on the past and not on getting people to help you come up with future possibilities. Maybe your focus can gradually shift.



I'm pretty new here, and you've already made me laugh a bunch of times, crack up even. You also answered aLinux question for me and have answered other people's questions here, as well as encouraging people. Oh, and you gave me that Bible verse to shift my focus from my elusive quest for some grand purpose to "love thy neighbor." Isn't that a start?

Well my communication seems a bit suicidal right now

I oddly don't know that I care, most of the responses I am getting are validating to my feelings actually.

I think maybe I am okay, maybe everyone else is the problem?