give me sleep

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Joined: 14 Apr 2013
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16 Oct 2016, 5:01 pm

I'm not sure what I'd do if I were in your shoes. I might have died already of pure fear, or because of something stupid I'd done in response. Even if I live to a ripe old age, having wasted so much time in my life, I'll probably do much less than you've already done. Therefore, I admire you.

I hope your loved ones stay with you till the end.

Can I hug you?

Go ahead, say it was a joke if you want. My offer of a hug stands. And, if you slap me in the face, I'll consider it well deserved.

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The red lake has been forgotten. A dust devil stuns you long enough to shroud forever those last shards of wisdom. The breeze rocking this forlorn wasteland whispers in your ears, “Não resta mais que uma sombra”.

Raleigh
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16 Oct 2016, 5:35 pm

(((((((((((((Spiderpig)))))))))))))

I've always related to your posts.
I know exactly where you're coming from.

And I would love to say it's all a joke.
To pretend everything's normal.
Haha, suckers!

I wish I could rewind and never mention it.
Giving it attention only makes it worse.
And having people say I'm brave etc. doesn't feel right at all.

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Lillikoi
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16 Oct 2016, 5:50 pm

Raleigh wrote:

Wait, wait, make that a group hug!

((((((((Raleigh and [if Spiderpig don't mind

] Spiderpig))))

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^
That guy is a dingus.

Spiderpig
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16 Oct 2016, 5:59 pm

I don't mind

*squish* *squish* *squish*

Raleigh
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16 Oct 2016, 7:49 pm

Lillikoi wrote:

Raleigh wrote:

Wait, wait, make that a group hug!

((((((((Raleigh and [if Spiderpig don't mind

] Spiderpig))))

Oops, sorry, kinda left you hanging there. :oops:

((((((Lilli/Spidey/Raleigh))))))

^ I just hugged myself.

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Raleigh
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17 Oct 2016, 2:54 am

DataB4 wrote:

Raleigh, you haven't cognitively declined, so why rush things by cutting off communication with people? You're insightful, and you have a valuable perspective to offer WP. What do you do for fun, to keep yourself sane? Hugs.

I want to leave while I still know what I know.
When I don't know what I know, I won't know, will I?

I post silly stuff on WP for fun.
It's about the only fun I'm allowed now.

There's not enough silliness in this world.

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Raleigh
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17 Oct 2016, 3:54 am

The more flippant I sound, the more I hurt.

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envirozentinel
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17 Oct 2016, 10:10 am

You're not alone.

And the clowns too, they cried on that terrible day in 1944 when the Ringling Circus big top caught fire in Hartford and killed over 160 people including children.

Comedy and tragedy are never far apart but simply flip sides.

Wherever we are in the world here on WP, we hug you in a dimension where all borders are gone and we can join in spirit where all is possible. :heart:

Solidarity and unity give us hope.

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Raleigh
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17 Oct 2016, 5:28 pm

B19 wrote:

Raleigh, would it help to post daily guidelines for us, maybe something like "please don't discuss x today folks, not in the mood" or "would like support today, please" or "would just like to share about x today though not in mood for replies re x today" or "open to discussion on x today" and so on so that you set the agenda at all times. It occurred to me that you would feel more in control over the process of interaction, (and I think control is important for you to exercise at this very stressful time).

It's your time. If you want to set the agenda in your threads, I would support you in that, and remove any posts which disrespected those guidelines on any day if you asked me to. Other mods may want to assist too, so that you have greater control here.

We really really really really love you being here with us. Not just now, we have always loved having you here.

I've been trying to work out what it is I want when I make these kind of threads.

I don't want practical advice or questions because by this stage you can be sure I've pretty much tried everything.
I don't want people to ask me about my condition because I don't want to become that condition in everyone's mind.
I don't want sympathy or sad messages because that makes me feel weak.

I really just want someone to cheer me the f**k up.

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B19
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17 Oct 2016, 5:47 pm

Thank you for that guidance. Can you be more specific still? People will naturally assume perhaps that what would cheer them up will work for you, and that could lead them to post things that are not helpful to you, and may even be upsetting. "Cheer up" things come in many different forms. I know for myself, some well intended things of that kind were not helpful, some upset me, while others did help a lot. I found it hard to set limits then, though in retrospect I wish I had done, and would do so if I became seriously ill again.

androbot01
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17 Oct 2016, 6:22 pm

envirozentinel wrote:

And the clowns too, they cried on that terrible day in 1944 when the Ringling Circus big top caught fire in Hartford and killed over 160 people including children.

If I were a Ringling elephant I would have smiled on that day. It makes me smile now and I'm not even an elephant.

Raleigh, maybe we can meet up in the woods; it sucks to die alone.

B19 wrote:

Thank you for that guidance. Can you be more specific still?

Are you trying to be funny, because this ^ is hilarious.

Spiderpig
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17 Oct 2016, 6:53 pm

I think I haven't posted this yet. If I weren't trying to avoid repeating myself, I'd post this:

It's a lullaby, but I find its words beautiful. Sometimes they still make me shed a tear or two, despite having listened to them countless times.

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17 Oct 2016, 7:11 pm

Whenever something in a song looks like the narrator is no longer describing the real world, I wonder if what's going on is something like the ending of "The Little Match Girl".

Raleigh
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17 Oct 2016, 7:21 pm

androbot01 wrote:

Raleigh, maybe we can meet up in the woods; it sucks to die alone.

Considering our respective woods are thousands of miles apart, we'd have to link up over the Internet.

Suicide by Skype

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androbot01
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17 Oct 2016, 7:27 pm

Raleigh wrote:

androbot01 wrote:

Raleigh, maybe we can meet up in the woods; it sucks to die alone.

Considering our respective woods are thousands of miles apart, we'd have to link up over the Internet.

Suicide by Skype

Where is your neck of the woods then? Besides "out of my mind?"

Raleigh
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17 Oct 2016, 7:34 pm

^ Queensland, Australia.
Where the woods themselves will kill you dead without warning.
Except if you're Raleigh.
I go out there regularly but the bastard refuses to kill me.
The drop bears and taipans couldn't give a rats.

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