Being the weird single one

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Well, my next-desk coworker, who's a married woman, about 90% of conversations mostly are about her husband and her baby's new moves.

So I can see why single women wouldn't relate to her much.

Lol we're all in our mid 30s and they've all been married at least 8-10 years each. The purple haze is long over.

I don't mean tagging along like a 3rd wheel. These people are sociable, they go out for meals, they have people over, in small groups, but they don't invite me, well they do once in a blue moon and I found that we could talk. The talk wasn't all about spouses and kids and even when it was I wasn't uninterested. I like kids, when I have them over I ask their kids along too.

I think that when you're the type of single where you can't meet anyone who fancies you and wants to go out with you, you're still lumped in the "you're super independent and don't need company because you're a strong independent woman who makes your own plans and fun" category. They think you are anti social because you seem to not want company because you've chosen to be on your own (even if you haven't and you are really lonely).

Someone who met me recently told me that she thought I seemed quite career oriented. How I laughed. I hate my job, anyone who knows me knows I hate my job. She only assumed that because I'm not in a relationship and I work a full time job in the city.

People don't understand why single people are on their own when they themselves found someone easily. They think we are weird loners even if we are not.

Don't apologise you have added to the conversation and helped it along.

I'm popping this in here because we were talking about changing on the thread earlier and I liked this quote I found

This used to depress me so much a few years ago. I guess I realised that either I coped with change or I ended up constantly annoyed at my friends who had done nothing wrong to me

Right now I have a mix of single, coupled and married friends. Some friends move further down the coupled>married>kids line, and some break up. A few are just into dating and casual sex, but a few are very churchy and are waiting for their husband or wife to come along. One has AS and says she's asexual and is happy living with her cats. One is probably about 50 (I've never asked!) and he just likes traveling with his job. I like to see my "married with kids" friends so I can play with their kids and talk to their babies and hand them at the end of the day:lol: but I also like to see my other single friends to talk about how it sucks being single. Then there are the people I bushwalk with or go to markets with and we talk about...bushwalking or food. I'm like you, most of the time I'm at work and well, I just talk about work with my work friends. And I am WELL past the age where it is acceptable to be single and live with pets and not even be dating anyone.

I guess the point I'm making is that everyone's at different stages in their lives. You need to reconnect with your single friends or join in with your married friends....do they do things outside their married life? I'm in local theatre and although there are plenty of married people there whose kids come along but we all have our theatre shows in common. I'm also involved in local politics so we have that to talk about. I know it sounds cliched but if you get involved with an interest group (even online) then that is the common thread. Hope you feel better about it soon.

Cad - also the 'weird single one!' especially at family functions...

Buy they haven't done nothing wrong. There is a culture of treating single people like pariahs and it's wrong.

I think this culture is because some people are scared of people who are 'different'

I don't feel weird, just that I probably got such a late start getting out into the world that everybody is already spoken for. I know that, at my age, I probably won't find anyone.

That window of opportunity has long since closed for me. I still love to go out, but it has to be for my own fun and enjoyment of life. Everybody my age has been there, done that already. It isn't that nobody likes me. I have made a lot of friends.

You need to find some new single friends in your area. Join some clubs, volunteer, community theater, etc.

You'll never believe this but I've had 3 invites out places this weekend, all from couples who I like.

I'm not such a toad after all.

Oh, um yeah, update on the dude as well. I was more friendly towards him, it was just sort of an accident, he caught me in a good mood one day and I was just naturally cheerful and pleasant towards him, not at all awkward and we've started talking again. Its not much, but it's something at least.