Wanting to prove my detractors wrong

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It was in another thread. Ironically, he was talking about how "white male privelege" was bad and how he himself has it but how he's not going to let it go.

Last edited by Marknis on 04 Apr 2018, 5:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

It's far more prevalent in the much more racist USA, but it's still a thing right here on the West Coast of Canada where white people are no longer even the majority. We have many Asians & South Asians here, as well as people from all over the world. Vancouver is incredibly diverse. And of course, there's still the Native Indian population, too.

White people, especially tall white males, get an easier ride through life. They get the benefit of the doubt from law enforcement, they get first opportunity for the best jobs & pay, preferential treatment by service employees and on and on. I can walk down the street right passed a cop while smoking a joint and they hardly bat an eye. My very Native looking 1/2 Native brother in law gets hassled by cops for just walking home through a park, asking if he's there to drink/do drugs etc when he's just on his way home from work to have dinner with his wife & son. Native Indians are a small minority of our population, but they make up a huge % of our prisoners. Granted, many commit crimes.. but they're also more likely to be targeted, arrested, charged, convicted, and jailed - much the same for Blacks & Hispanics in the USA.

Then there's access to education, access to healthcare... virtually every good thing a society has to offer is much more easily obtained by a white person than a non white person in North America.

Cry me a river. You made assumptions about me. Don't expect me to just take it.

Piobaire was making assumptions about me wanting to be a Donald Trump Jr. and I was telling him he was wrong. I don't get high-fives by rednecks, employers, and politicians. I am told I am a "fa***t", "weirdo", "loser", and "Satanic" by the people SJWs and extreme leftists claim give me high-fives, send trust funds, and their daughters in marriage. I wasn't wishing for that, I was just saying the assumptions I get are ridiculous. I also never think about "margaritas" in the way you and him are assuming I do.

And honestly, it's strange how you claim you don't like my posts and yet still follow them.

No, he was assuming I just want a "sex toy" and attacked me for it. He was not giving advice but was attacking me with a false presumption.

Last edited by Marknis on 04 Apr 2018, 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I didn't make assumptions about you. I did make comments about you.

Whether you get those particular things (high fives, trust funds, peoples' daughters) or not, the message is still loud and clear from those who are saying it: You act entitled. You act as if you're entitled to have what you want (a girlfriend) and one should just be bestowed upon you for simply existing and declaring that you want such a thing in your life. What others are pointing out is that that's not the way things work. If you want something, you have to work for & earn it - women's attention & affection included. I'm gay and I comprehend this fully. If you truly want something in your life, you're not going to get it by whining about it. You're going to get it by working for it. Take action and do the work required to make yourself a more attractive Marknis and eventually you'll have yourself a girlfriend. Diet, exercise, treating your depression whether via medication or meditation, counselling or self administered therapy etc.. take personal responsibility for yourself & work hard towards all the things you want out of life and then you'll be able to obtain them. They're not just going to fall into your lap because you say you want them. Do whatever it takes and you can have almost anything you want.

Aye, this cant be emphasized enough.

I'm normally fairly oblivious to alot of trends on this forum, but I've not only noticed these, but actively posted in them, as my natural inclination is to try to help those that seem to be in need of it (and alot of people just directly come to me for help for.... some reason.... so I'm used to doing it).

I've always tried posting advice, but like most of it in these threads, it gets ignored. And I see everyone else's advice get ignored too.


To Marknis:

I've said this before. And then I said it again, and a couple more times probably, and I'm going to say this here too:

If you dont change this attitude of yours, this cycle of misery will continue. It will never stop. It will just. Keep. Going.

Is that what you want? For that to just continue into forever? Because that's exactly where you're headed with this.

You show up with these threads, and all they are is "woe is me", and honestly? That's not necessarily a bad thing. One of the purposes of this forum and others like it is to seek help from others who might have a bit of understanding of what you're going through.

The problem is that "woe is me" is the ONLY thing in these threads. There's no attempt to actually take anything from the advice you're given, or think things through and work through things with the people that are trying to help you. And THAT is probably the biggest actual problem you have.

I've been where you are in alot of ways. Not in terms of finding a girlfriend or whatever... I couldnt care less about romance. But being lonely or feeling left out isnt always about romance, and yeah, I've been there. Often.

But the thing that was drilled into my head by certain family members was this: It was my attitude towards everything, the way I approached everything, that kept me in that cycle. There were ways out of it. But I had to actually USE those ways.

And that's what you ARENT doing: You're not taking/using the options that ARE available to you to break the cycle. You're ignoring them so that you can keep posting these threads full of sadness and depression. So much of both, yet you do next to nothing to try to END those negative states and replace them with positive ones. And so, you just keep repeating these... it's no wonder why some people get kinda fed up with it. They offer endless piles of advice, much of it very good advice, and it's all ignored. Wouldnt you get frustrated with that?

Right now, you've gotten yourself into a sort of pit. It's a bad place to be. But YOU have to get yourself out. YOU have to use the suggestions and options that are very clearly there. They arent going to use themselves, and your problems arent going to solve themselves. They simply wont. It doesnt work that way.

And to be honest, I do know that it can be kinda hard to grasp that concept. I've had trouble with it myself, and I've seen it before in many people with autism of any sort that I've met.

But again: You *have* to do it.

This cycle doesnt have to continue. You dont have to keep going through this crap. But until YOU change your attitude, until you try new solutions, you will never escape.

And by "try new solutions" I dont mean "try exactly once and give up when it doesnt work". Alot of this stuff is going to take some true effort on your part, and it's NOT going to happen overnight.


I dont think anyone dislikes you here. Honestly, you seem like a nice person. But you just keep wrecking yourself, over and over and over again, and it's very hard to watch, particularly when alot of us know that the solutions ARE there. Even moreso when some of us have USED those solutions in your own life. Again, I've been where you are. I've been there so often (particularly back in my school days) that it altered my personality permanently. If describing myself, I always associate myself with the very concept of negativity... it's one reason why my name is "Misery" (and I use that name *everywhere*, not just here). Because I've been through that loop so much. But I got out of it. It was hard, but I did it. And you can do it too. But you arent.

Seriously. Make the change. TRY some of the new things explained to you. Go back through your old threads, and read the advice there. There's all sorts. And if you've given one solution plenty of effort, and it just isnt working? Time to try another. There's so many that have been suggested.

It doesn't change the fact he was accusing me of just wanting a "sex toy" like a drooling beast. That is the problem I have with posts like his. Get it now? What he said was not advice or criticism but a diatribe.

I also make it a point to not take advice from people whose outlook is "f**k white people" and tell me I am perpetuating racism, sexism, and homophobia just by existing. If these people saw what I had to go through my whole life with rednecks (Some who even sexually abused me) and 'good 'ol white Christian folk', their paradigm would vaporize.

Last edited by Marknis on 04 Apr 2018, 6:02 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I respect your posts as well as ones by some others because you don't make stupid-ass assumptions about me, claim I don't know myself, and you actually accept me for who I am, not what I am apparently supposed to be.

Aye, I understand that.

One other thing I want to say though: Those posts that seem to be genuinely insulting to you? Just ignore them. I know it can be hard to do (and seeing them at all is bloody irritating, yeah?) but do it anyway.

It's a forum, after all. Even in this place, sometimes there are people that just make jerks of themselves.

I mean, maybe try to correct them once if they've got a bad assumption or the wrong impression (because sometimes that's all it is, alot of us are horrible at communication and can get confused easily) but if you do that and they keep making a snot of themselves.... stop reading their posts, or.... uh... does this forum have a "block user" function? I... actually dont know. But if it's there, consider it as an option. Even consider messaging a moderator about it (I've had to do that a few times, and if you choose the right mod, it can work out very well).

It'll save you alot of forum-based irritation.

I know I wouldnt want to have to deal with members making posts like that to me. Have had it happen a few times, always gets me in a very angry mood. But that's the internet for ya, I guess....

Marknis doesn't need a block function in order to ignore posts. Just look at all the advice he ignores! He's pretty good at ignoring things and just doing whatever he wants to. Hopefully he can ignore things that he perceives as offensive and instead pay attention to all the good advice he's been given.. and even better; act on it!

You really think I am going to listen to someone who accused me of being a Donald Trump Jr. and just wants a woman like a drooling beast? That is not advice to help me, that is a diatribe brought on by a false perception.

Notice I have not spoken negatively about Misery, Fireblossom, kraftiekortie, aiko, and Inquisitor? That's because they don't make stupid assumptions about me and actually accept me for who I am. Has it ever occurred to you that doing those things make people not like others?

Last edited by Marknis on 04 Apr 2018, 6:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My suggestion was a serious one though.

It can be very hard to ignore insulting posts. Easy to ignore other types of posts in any subject, but... outright insulting (or trolling) posts often just sorta get your anger fired up, and then there's that temptation to strike back, and then the troll gets exactly what they wanted... Never helps anyone. Well, it helps the troll, I guess, but obviously that is to be avoided.

Even when I put Piobaire on my ignore list, his posts still show. If I didn't see his posts or others that make stupid-ass assumptions about me, it would give me peace of mind as well as keep me from feeling the need to respond. That's partly why I want my threads locked sometimes.

*sigh*

So, this freaking site is just as glitchy as it ever was, then. Ugh. Sometimes (okay, most of the time) I think this forum needs to be redone from the ground up. It's more than a bit of a mess.

But that's a rant for another day.


Consider talking to a mod, then. That's what worked for me in a similar situation.

Did I say anything about someone who accused you of being Donald Trump Jr. or w/e else?

No.

I suggested that you pay attention to the abundance of good advice you've been given & do something with it.

Is the rest of the reason you want your threads locked sometimes because you're getting too much advice you don't want to act on and not enough sympathy that you can feel good for a moment from?

Serious question.

It seems you get upset when people suggest you put an effort in to solve your problems and are only seeking sympathy instead.