Is my husband toxic?

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Lol, that gets complicated

That sounds pretty toxic to me, I mean seems kind of trashy to realize you smell bad and then rudely belch out 'I smell bad should I take a shower.' to your S.O. then immediately comment that they should wear something else than what they have picked up to put on. Perhaps not the most toxic thing but that combined with the rest of his behavior mentioned in this post certainly makes it still seem like he was being intentionally rude and trashy.

I mean not everyone here will agree with me, but in my opinion perhaps its time he take care of himself. I mean its not fair you have to put your life on hold and turn down various job oppurtunities because of your irresponsible, rude husband who does not seem to care much for you at all. More like he just wants a woman as a wife but doesn't actually appreciate you as a person and individual with your own needs and wants.

I mean I get it may be hard feeling like you're abandoning him but...he seems he's just hiding behind his 'disability' or whatever reason it is he cant hold a job and the fact he came from somewhere that spanish is the common language as excuses to mistreat you and discourage you from every job opportunity you find. He sounds super toxic not sure where other commenters are getting the idea you should just forget and forgive his hurtful oppressive behavior. At the very least if you think he does care about you somewhere deep down you need to have a serious talk with him about his hurtful behavior and make it clear you won't continue to put up with it. But if he just keeps behaving the same way it may be time to get on with your own life and let him deal with his own problems. Seems like he treats you more like his personal baby sitter that he's a brat to than a wife.

And also in the last couple weeks or so after I taught him how to use Netflix, he's been finding rated "MA" stuff, and since he plays the tv really loud all I hear coming from the living room now is sex scenes, and him sitting on the floor... Because of a prior incident of mine, I have a little PTSD over porn... And I brought it up and he claimed he wasn't watching for those scenes, and that just proves my jealousy.... Like for example on regular TV he loves Naked and Afraid for some reason and he claims he just likes watching them survive... Etc ...

Another one is the AC, we have free AC here but he cranks it up so high I have to use blankets.... When I saw turn it down he says "Fine, I'll leave it completely off even if it's 100 degrees outside"

He plays loud porn in the house when it's a PTSD trigger for you? Then he belittles you for complaining?

Did I read that right?

He’s not a very cooperative fellow....

Errrrr... what are the upsides of living with him?

That's what I was wondering too. It's starting to sound like you really should get a divorce.

Angnix is a classic "stand by your man" type. She has put up with this stuff much too long......

It doesn't prove your "jealousy", it proves and reinforces your PTSD.

It also proves a lot about him .... that he's insensitive, judgemental, and a gas lighter (among others).

A marital partner should not provoke your PTSD and they certainly shouldn't chide your reactions. I agree with Sweetleaf, and I think it's time you attend counselling. I'm not a fan of divorce but you shouldn't be forced to live with someone who rubs trauma in your face, especially given all that you've sacrificed for his care.

Hugs.

I get back from going to the food pantry and he has a huge bride on his stomach..... I for sure didn't cause it, he is claiming abdominal pain again and in the past he's blamed his medical issues for causing them... But in the past hospital never finds out cause of brushing... So either he has something undiagnosed, or he's hurting himself... Again... Or hopefully not he's going to say I did it? He's going to hospital to be checked out... Like the hurting himself, I've caught him before but nobody believes me, and he has scars on his arms that he keeps saying we're from a car accident but his psych reports say he used to cut... Umm...

Ugh, I kept trying to type bruise... I guess I don't know how to spell lol

You definitely need counselling.
He most likely needs a therapy by himself - if he is willing to work on himself.
Self harming brings the idea of Borderline personality... of course it's not a diagnosis, just a thought, may be totally wrong.

Anyway, there is a difference between loyality (a very good thing) and enabling (a very bad thing).

He's one messed-up guy, it sounds like to me....

He was dxed borderline personality a long time ago...

Well, that explains quite a lot. Borderline people typically need to make quite an effort not to be toxic.