Hatred Sucks.

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Paraphrasing an asian proverb: hating is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

I wish others were also able to admit their triggers and irrational behaviors caused by them.

I'm really glad you did. It takes strength.

My major trigger used to be the stress caused by negative stimuli. I used to feel negative emotions far more intensely than positive ones. The latter being blunted . When stressed I'd become irrational ,anxiety would rise,I would become more verbally heated and paranoid.

Since being on the Consta and now the Paliperidone that has improved. The response to positive stimuli is still blunted though . Emotionally I'm rather flat .

I noticed on threads by smudge and cberg, saying they were leaving, you posted the exact same thing: "Bye! Stay safe! Stay well!"
They both seem to have been unimpressed with you recently. Did you mean your replies sincerely or were you being sarcastic? Surely it's not what you say or what people imagine your intent to be but your *actual* intent. I obviously don't hate you since we have barely spoken but it did look to me like you were trying to make them dislike you.

If you really feel hated when you have tried to be genuine then I feel for you. Perhaps look at the way you phrase things and try to alter them a bit to get your real meaning to show through.

I meant them. I wish no one any harm. But haters gotta hate, and they're hating on me, so nothing I post will ever be seen in a positive way. Sad.

No worries, though. I've dealt with hatred most of my life, and I imaging I'll be dealing with it until I die. "Man was born to trouble as sure as the sparks fly upward", and all that.

I remember that you used "Bye" when cBerg said he was leaving.

When I tried to quote you (yes, I wanted to reprimand you) the quote contained a previously concealed message

"they'll be back, they always come back"

I think that says it all.

Why are you lying to us?

Edit: I can answer that question better myself. Your father showed you no sympathy and now you inflict the same on young men whenever possible , Isn't it so?

I didn't lie, he did.  After all, he did come back, didn't he?

I still don't understand why people need to point out another member's deficiencies, even in the Haven. To those who feel obligated to

1. We all have problems that we can't see and/or acknowledge.

2. Why do you need another person to justify your perceptions?

3. Why bother arguing about it? Everyone has stated his or her perceptions. Everyone is entitled to his/her perceptions. You all are beating a dead horse.

I have to admit #2 took me a long time to get. I used to be so intent on making sure others totally agreed with me on a specific point, often about what interpretations of what was said or done. Focusing on that wrecked huge parts of my life. Learning that others do not have to agree with me was brutal, but not as brutal as the years spent trying to make it happen.

For a period of my adolescence I truly hated my father. Eventually, I saw it was not worth the effort. Since them, many people have screwed me over, but I still don't hate. It isn't worth it, folks.

I had a cousin who visited me a couple of years ago. I asked, rhetorically, why someone who is now middle-aged, hold onto the abuses of childhood. He answered: You do if that is how you define your life.

How do we define our lives? Which wolf are we going to feed?

I'm confused by this. Why are you being singled out by haters?

"Easy target", perhaps?

The tallest weed attracts the sickle.

You get frustrated by other members wallowing and have been glib at times. That feels closer to the truth. It's not the end of the world to admit that much and say that you will refrain in the future.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

I don't know about the others, but I'm going to feed the one that's screaming "CHOCOLATE!"

I admit that much.I saw what you did there.

OK. This thread is moving more quickly than I can think or type. Below is my response to "chocolate."



Way better than feeding the one who hates.

I find that too much "refraining" often exacerbates loneliness. Exacerbates sadness.

I guess you sort of have to "know your audience," so to speak. And that's pretty hard to do. I sometimes make mistakes in this---and I get a tongue-lashing.

Usually, a good swift kick in the butt is counterproductive---especially when you're not good friends with a person. Make use of the other person's experience. Ask the person about his/her hobbies, etc....while giving the advice. Have a conversation. Don't be like some guru who thinks he/she is superior. Be more "face to face' both literally and metaphorically. If somebody wants a guru, I am not your man.

I often feel that if people feel free to talk about themselves "outside of their minds," so to speak, that a person is thus able to receive advice which is relatively blunt. Above all, a person needs to feel "viable." Needs to feel at least somewhat "equal" to a person who is giving the advice.

My mother tells me all the time that I should "refrain." I am constitutionally against it.