I feel that my feelings towards others are abnormal.

Post Reply New Topic

From your posts on WP, I have no doubt you're full of sympathy

In my case, I tend to feel empathetic when I've actually experienced the topic of the empathy. I use my moral compass in my empathy---but I do a lot better if I've actually experienced a situation.

I tend to feel sympathy a lot. This is based on my moral sense, rather than my experience, especially at "first glance."

I lacked empathy when I was younger----especially before I became a teenager---primarily because I hadn't experienced much in life.

I had a superficial sympathy as a child---but it didn't extend beyond myself. I couldn't think from another person's viewpoint as a child.

My "solipsism" lasted longer than most children's "solipsism." It lasted until I started getting interested in girls when I was about 12-13. After I started getting interested in girls, I felt sort of compelled to "expand my world."

I feel like what I stated above is somewhat "normal"---but that some people with Asperger's/Autism may exhibit this to a greater degree than some NT's. I started feeling empathy, probably, at a later age than average.

There are some NT's who really have no empathy at all----or else they don't feel their empathetic feelings are worthy of their time.

I feel like NT's and autistic folks sometimes exhibit differences in the empathy realm----but one should definitely NOT conclude that people on the Spectrum do not experience empathy. It's possible that, on average, they experience empathy at a later age---like I did.

This is really too complex for anyone to make any sort of general, blanket statement about whether or not a certain group of people have, or do not have, empathy. Anybody who makes this sort of statement should be ignored.

I think empathy can be subjective with NTs. Some people may feel empathy for one situation but not for another. It's what I notice in different NT people all the time. Some people who aren't afraid of spiders themselves criticise me because I am afraid of spiders, where as others who aren't afraid of spiders understand that I'm afraid of spiders and don't get on my case about it. After all, being afraid of spiders is rather common. I'm not afraid of other things that people are commonly afraid of, like rats or snakes, but I don't criticise people who are afraid of those. I just understand and move on.
But people who don't understand the fact that I'm scared of spiders doesn't make that person identify as lacking empathy as a whole person. They just lack empathy for that one thing, but may empathise with me on a different subject, like me being anxious in crowds or something. Usually people typically have more empathy if they feel the same way about something. Some NTs don't always understand that some people are more sensitive than others, and they expect them to not be sensitive.
Usually bullying is caused by lack of understanding. And I don't mean teasing because one has big ears or something. I mean really harmful bullying that goes on for years, like emotional bullying or physical bullying. Some Aspies here have wrote what bullies have done to them in the past, not just in school but in adulthood too, and it sounded absolutely despicable and I just don't know how those bullies sleep at night. And the way I see it bullying is a very selfish thing to do indeed.

I feel like, most of the time, bullies bully because they want to bully. Their intentions are not good. I would never give a pass to a bully, even though the bully might have had a tough home life or childhood or whatever. There's no excuse for bullying.

I feel like a considerable amount of empathy to certain people is based on motivation. And, like you said, on "common ground."

^I feel that's the way it is with most people.....