03 Sep 2021, 9:55 pm
Steve1963 wrote:
Well, I'm in the apartment. It's awfully quiet here. I miss my wife and kids, but I imagine that will lessen with time. I'm going to visit them Sunday, and my Saturday is relatively full...so it shouldn't be too bad. I guess we'll see.
I’m sending you virtual hugs and support, Steve! You can do this! Now is the time to remember who you are and all your interests separate from your family. Music, movies, sensory indulgence (I have a pillow fort), and routines that make you feel whole — because you are a whole person even in these trying times. Routines help to take the question marks out of the day, especially when you first wake up and adjust to the awareness of your new surroundings. One step at a time can make such a difference to our outlook. You don’t need to know all the answers yet but please trust you will survive and that your children will always love you. No one can take that away.
Best wishes as you start to rediscover who you are.
04 Sep 2021, 1:45 am
Steve1963 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
blazingstar wrote:
^ I know my words don’t make sense to you now. That’s okay. Just something to stick in your back pocket for later on.
I understand your being terrified of being alone and I completely believe you. I’ve been there, more than once. I’ve lived long enough to have made many horrific mistakes in my life.
I believe you will face your fear and deal with it and come through to the other side with more confidence and more feelings of self-worth.
I understand your being terrified of being alone and I completely believe you. I’ve been there, more than once. I’ve lived long enough to have made many horrific mistakes in my life.
I believe you will face your fear and deal with it and come through to the other side with more confidence and more feelings of self-worth.
I hope you're right.
Tonight is my last night in this house. Tomorrow morning I move out. I know I'll still be coming back here to visit the kids and whatnot, but it just feels so permanent, you know? Like from here on out I'll be a guest...just a visitor...not really part of the family. It's a scary thought.
You have kids?
Achtung! Warning!
Advice is being offered.
Couldn't you just focus on your kids?
How old are they?
I have 5 kids - 3 boys (21, 19, 15) and 2 girls (12, 7). I plan on focusing on my kids a lot...but I can't be with them 24 x 7. Add to that the fact that I work from home, which further isolates me from the world.
I move in tonight. I'm thankful that I have a therapy appointment immediately prior to the move. I'm hoping she can impart some words of wisdom. I suspect the silence of the new place will be deafening.
I find playing my favourite music helps, not that I ever feel lonely myself.
It just changes the mood.
Then there is TV and radio.
For me, caffeine makes emotional pain far worse.
Perhaps you are the same?
If so, give it a miss.
A great way to stabilise emotions.
I gather you aren't a pet person?
04 Sep 2021, 1:46 am
04 Sep 2021, 5:40 am
04 Sep 2021, 6:07 am
Good morning, Steve. Please let us know how you are doing.
04 Sep 2021, 6:54 am
Pepe wrote:
I gather you aren't a pet person?
I love cats. More than people. But this place has a 'no pets' policy. Besides, I'd feel like I was betraying the two cats I left behind at my old place.
04 Sep 2021, 6:56 am
blazingstar wrote:
Good morning, Steve. Please let us know how you are doing.
The first night went surprisingly well. I managed to get 9 /2 hours of sleep...which is a ridiculous amount by my standards. I think I expected more noise from the other tenants but that was not the case. I have a pretty full Saturday...getting settled...grocery shopping...AA meeting...maybe a haircut
So overall it's been an excellent start to the new normal...
04 Sep 2021, 11:26 am
Wonderful that you had a first good night.
04 Sep 2021, 12:13 pm
04 Sep 2021, 12:18 pm
05 Sep 2021, 2:21 am
kraftiekortie wrote:
The child is only 7 years younger than I am. I’m not thought of as his “father.”
He is a doctor.
He is a doctor.
Mystery solved.
As you were.
05 Sep 2021, 2:23 am
Steve1963 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
I gather you aren't a pet person?
I love cats. More than people. But this place has a 'no pets' policy. Besides, I'd feel like I was betraying the two cats I left behind at my old place.
Do you plan on staying there?
05 Sep 2021, 2:25 am
Steve1963 wrote:
blazingstar wrote:
Good morning, Steve. Please let us know how you are doing.
The first night went surprisingly well. I managed to get 9 /2 hours of sleep...which is a ridiculous amount by my standards. I think I expected more noise from the other tenants but that was not the case. I have a pretty full Saturday...getting settled...grocery shopping...AA meeting...maybe a haircut
So overall it's been an excellent start to the new normal...
Good to see.
I gather you had considerable time to adjust to the possibility of separation?
05 Sep 2021, 2:27 am
05 Sep 2021, 5:29 am
Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
I gather you aren't a pet person?
I love cats. More than people. But this place has a 'no pets' policy. Besides, I'd feel like I was betraying the two cats I left behind at my old place.
Do you plan on staying there?
05 Sep 2021, 5:30 am
Pepe wrote:
Steve1963 wrote:
blazingstar wrote:
Good morning, Steve. Please let us know how you are doing.
The first night went surprisingly well. I managed to get 9 /2 hours of sleep...which is a ridiculous amount by my standards. I think I expected more noise from the other tenants but that was not the case. I have a pretty full Saturday...getting settled...grocery shopping...AA meeting...maybe a haircut
So overall it's been an excellent start to the new normal...
Good to see.
I gather you had considerable time to adjust to the possibility of separation?
We've been having marital issues for a while. Still, I don't think anyone is ever prepared for the actual separation.
