I'm not doing so good.

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Joined: 18 Jun 2007
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01 Dec 2008, 11:10 pm

And remember Ana54, you are not totally alone.

You have a whole community of people with no empathy or social skills here.

YAY!!

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Pain and pleasure are the twins who slowly out of focus spin around us until we finally realize, that everything that gives us pleasure also gives us pain to measure it by!

Beenthere
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01 Dec 2008, 11:31 pm

It gets easier Ana honest. Right now it's a change, a BIG change...and heaven knows how well we all deal with that. :roll:

You're going to feel guilty about everything you do until he's 18...or 30. :lol:

I had/have alot of sensory issues, my mom used to take my son quite a bit to give me a break when he was small. You need time to recharge every now and then. I used to give myself the same guilt trip...don't...that doesn't make you a bad parent, just one that knows when they need some time out.

I think the biggest mistake we make is trying to emulate NT parenting skills or their expectations. Those overly organized super mom's you see with 4 kids in tow that make it look effortless...just weren't wired at the same factory as we were. You will find out what works best for you and Finnegan and it will be fine.

{{{Hugs}}}

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Brent
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02 Dec 2008, 12:43 am

Ana54 wrote:

BPalmer, I'm just curious, why do you post in this thread? Do you need someone to take out some anger on? Or do you jsut feel a moral obligation to say certain things to people you consider bad?

This is BPalmer (I forgot the password for my more recent account, then ended up remembering it!). The A bit of both. I apologise for doing that. Whather that helps any, it's the best I can do now.

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Last edited by Brent on 02 Dec 2008, 1:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

Brent
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02 Dec 2008, 12:46 am

sartresue wrote:

We aspies do our own thing, even if it is callous. I have said worse, BP.

That still doesn't justify what I said.

sartresue wrote:

A lot worse. And maybe you will be a parent, and a good one, some day!!

I doubt that, simply because I do not believe I'm cut out for that sort of thing. It pays to know one's limits.

Edited to add: BTW, thanks for your support - although the originator of this thread needs a lot more of it.

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Comet
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02 Dec 2008, 3:25 pm

Ana54 wrote:

Yeah, I know, I'm posting here without having posted here in anybody else's thread (or at all) in, like, months. But I'll post it anyway. I was too tired or lazy to post anything here.

I'm still lazy and tired. I've been for months. I don't remember what it's like to gbe alert or energetic or focused. Adverb and I have a week-old son and I'm not a very good mother to him. I have trouble focusing, I have trouble committing, and I have trouble accepting responsibility. While I was pregnant I wasn't that worried because I thought I could just take off. When Jack (adverb) and his mother went out with our son Finnegan and I stayed at home because I was tired, I suddenly thought that if I didn't go then I would never have the chance to go. I grabbed the minimum amount of things I needed and walked to the grocery store. I was going to ask people there where I could catch a bus to the Greyhound station, then stay there for days if I had to panhandling until I had enough (on top of what I already had) for a ticket. I was going to go to Brockville, a town I lived in before where half the residents seem to be on disability and it's very easy to get it, and you can get welfare right away there in the meantime and they have a good food bank. The bad part of me keeps thinking I'm not free anymore and I need to get back my freedom, and how it's a shame I can't sleep all the time anymore and I have to do something about that, and how when Finnegan cries in an angry way the bad part of me feels like slapping him or throwing him across the room (which is horrible and says something about my character, I know), and when he cries the bad part of me wants to ignore him and does sometimes for a minute. That's no good either. My son is better off without having me there all the time.

Then I met Jack's mother at the grocery store and they convinced me to come back, but I still want to go.

Its great seeing you again i hadnt been able to get online for 9 months and its only in the past months ive really got back into posting on forums

Hope things get better for you my Pm box is always open

All the best Comet

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Followthereaper90
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02 Dec 2008, 8:02 pm

i hope thinks go good to u anna,keep it up u doing great^^

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MADDuck
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02 Dec 2008, 8:24 pm

Any news, Catharine?

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Ana54
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02 Dec 2008, 9:34 pm

No news... today Finnegan was making noise in his crib, the kind of noise that comes before crying, and me and Jack just sat there in the living room eating while his mother went in to see what he needed... Jack said to me, "See? I'm just as bad as you." I felt so much better after that!

MADDuck
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02 Dec 2008, 10:12 pm

LOL!!
See?
You're doing great!! !

Any pictures of the little Martian yet?

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Pain and pleasure are the twins who slowly out of focus spin around us until we finally realize, that everything that gives us pleasure also gives us pain to measure it by!

lionesss
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02 Dec 2008, 10:13 pm

Hang in there, I had PPD too especially with my daughter who is now 6.5 and we are closer than ever. Be sure to get yourself monitored and I promise it will get easier as time goes on. We HATE change and having a baby is something that changes your life forever... if "NT"'s have a hard time adjusting, then think about how it is for people like us? You need to cut yourself some slack. If you were truly a bad parent you wouldn't be voicing your concerns and anxious feelings!

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03 Dec 2008, 11:17 am

Brent wrote:

This is BPalmer (I forgot the password for my more recent account, then ended up remembering it!).

alex wrote:

===================
WrongPlanet Rules
===================

User accounts
--------------------
* Each user of WrongPlanet is only permitted to hold one user account unless given permission by the owner of WrongPlanet.net.

So, do you want to be Brent or BPalmer? If you forget your password, I can always reset it for you.

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computerlove
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03 Dec 2008, 12:10 pm

MrMark, I think more important than that are her harsh comments

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Ana54
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03 Dec 2008, 12:54 pm

Jack and his mother were talking about adjusting the car seat and bringing this and that for Finnegan to Dallas on a trip, and I just sat there not caring about any of it.

MADDuck
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03 Dec 2008, 1:36 pm

Catharine, you signed in under the wrong account!!

Why Dallas?

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Pain and pleasure are the twins who slowly out of focus spin around us until we finally realize, that everything that gives us pleasure also gives us pain to measure it by!

Ana54
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03 Dec 2008, 1:54 pm

Jack's mother does all the work. Now she's changing his diaper, and Jack is with her probably to help dress him, and I still don't care!

We were going to look at houses in Dallas, but now she's going by herself. I don't know if I'll be here for long enough to move to Dallas.

MADDuck
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03 Dec 2008, 1:57 pm

WOW
that's bad.
I'm glad she's there to pick up the pace, but still this kinda sucks.

Is she moving up there?

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Pain and pleasure are the twins who slowly out of focus spin around us until we finally realize, that everything that gives us pleasure also gives us pain to measure it by!

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