scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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-7

_________________
Blint.

7 as usual.

Unknown, but don't mind me.



A path full of lavenders.
A dream without worry for the sake of the usual 'livelihood', back into a simpler time.
A time where one understands more than one ever knew.
A world more open and connected, transcend through time and space.

But who would come with me?
Be it one or another, I could only hope those I hold dear would understand.
Because, in that world -- the world of one's dreams, one can never be lonely.
Belonging, connectedness, oneness...

Could it be possible, in amidst of this?
Chaos was once a wish of mine, once upon a time.
Can't I just stick to it and be done with it?
Could it be that my true wish is to cease the world of screwed priorities?

Don't I desire out of derision?
Destruction as the means of salvation.
Do I actually define the end this way?
Death had it's own meaning, with the most known perhaps but a joke.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

-9

1.784
back barking at me after i made it help me do more yardwork.

1

people were happier when young lad's parents bought them a wife when they were twelve.

The lads were happy. The girls were not so happy.

-6 Literally no sleep last night, I just lay in bed thinking and stimming all night. It wasn’t because of the game I just got yesterday, though I may as well just have started playing it since I wasn’t getting any sleep anyway. My throat has stopped hurting from the ibuprofen incident, but I still feel the swelling there, like something’s stuck in my throat, but nothing is. General feeling of depression for no apparent reason, I hardly even want to play my game this morning. And still getting used to the fact that I am not female (nor am I male,) I am agender. When people say things like “women,” “Aspie women,” etc, what they have in mind is someone completely different from me. Heck, I’m not even human in any way but physical, it seems, I’m so vastly different (even from others on the autism spectrum). It feels weird to call myself / be called “they,” but if I’m not “she” or “he,” then that’s the only socially acceptable alternative.

-1...?

Had breathing difficulties and chest pain last night, called an ambulance. Everything seemed to be fine though, so it was probably some kind of panic attack due to stress or something. I've had similiar things happen before, but nothing's been found with all the tests. Earlier the doctors suggested some kind of panic disorder, so that might be the case here. I still feel weird though, but maybe the stress is causing some problems for me.

I hope you’re feeling much better now.

Will you see a doctor today?

3. Neurotypical = bitchiness and entitlement at will but you may not even calmly state where they were mistaken though they treated u rudely in the first placedue to their own misinterpretation.

The fact contradicts their perception so they take offense to the fact instead of admitting they wete wrong or apologizing for
rudeness.tbe reverse would never hold true as they wd never tolerate the same were it done to them.

The fact that someone is lower than them in some way socially makes them feel entitled to do this to them. Like they deserve it. No logic no compassion.


Assholery and arrogance of NTs.

7 as usual.

-5 Tired, dizzy, depressed, and very tired of all three.

Also feeling like I’m seen as just a whiner because I keep complaining about the same things. What makes me certain that I’m not just a whiner is that I really am seriously trying hard to change things, it’s just that nothing I’m trying is really helping, and I do whine while I’m waiting to see if something is helping or not, because I’m miserable, there’s nothing more for me to do about it during the waiting period, and WP is really the only place I can complain without driving off my one close friend or making my parents so tired of me that they kick me out or try to just shove me in a group home or something (okay, that’s an exaggeration, I don’t think they would do that, because obnoxious as I probably am, they know I’m in absolutely no shape to survive even either option with any shred of myself left). Though I probably am still just as obnoxious as if I were simply whining, perhaps even more so because I can’t honestly be told it’s my own dang fault I’m stuck in this rut and I’ll get out if I just try.

-3

Idk, this all just kind of sucks.