-2, maybe? Still sleepy, exhausted (yes, those are two different things to me), and in pain, but since my throat has been really hurting for the past few days (post-nasal drip most likely due to seasonal allergies, then the lymph node biopsy I had yesterday), I’ve been using texting and a text-to-speech app on my phone instead of actually talking, and oh my gosh, it is so much easier for me to communicate that way. I’m debating just keeping it up even after my throat feels better. So, would probably have been a -7 because of how crummy I’m feeling, but got boosted up by realizing that typing/writing really is the best mode of communication for me, and that it takes nowhere near as much mental effort. Only problem is timing, other people have to wait for me to type and will keep talking in the meantime, so the conversation will get ahead of me... but then again, that wouldn’t be much of a change for me, since I spend so much time in conversations waiting for even a slight break so I can say something and having it not come until after multiple subject changes anyway. And I can turn the volume up on my phone so people can’t talk over me as readily, and repeating myself is simply the touch of a button if people don’t catch it the first time anyway.
_________________
Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"