scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Thank you.

She was only 48, and previously healthy. No underlying health issues.

It attacked her kidneys, which is my worst nightmare.

She leaves behind her devastated husband, and their 16 year old daughter.

RIP

Negative something, not really sure what. Got that emotional numbness trying to confuse things again/still. Hearing stuff on the radio about mortality rates of different cancers and wondering why I couldn’t have ended up with a deadly one (as I’ve always said, I probably would stand a better chance of dying if I was otherwise perfectly healthy and caught the flu than I did from my particular cancer). Don’t want to get a COVID vaccine and decrease my chances of dying from that. Basically want to kill myself without it being obvious that’s what I was trying to do. Or get a chance to just let myself die without actually having to do anything myself. Or just end up dead somehow.

Wondering if it’s really worth it to try to get my own apartment, much cheaper for my parents if I just keep living at home, not sure it will actually do me any good, and in any case, I’d still be entirely financially dependent on them, and require regular assistance in other ways too.

I just really don’t want to have to live any more.

A mix of -4 and +2 (My head is clearer than it has been in ages. Still, having to deal with my autism daily, is a pain in the aspergers)

Thank you.

She was only 48, and previously healthy. No underlying health issues.

It attacked her kidneys, which is my worst nightmare.

She leaves behind her devastated husband, and their 16 year old daughter.

RIP

+2.
I am mostly content right now, but the snow is starting to make me miss my dog. She liked snow.

-6. I'm feeling guilty for dumb reasons, and worrying about something bad happening to my pets. I would probably cry right about now if I was able to cry properly.

0
Spend my day off yesterday not doing things I enjoy or being productive, but feeling like crap and stewing in sullen hatred. Today I've got work which sucks but I hope overall it'll be better.

-5 I feel like my brain can't get a moment to breathe.
There's this thing bothering me, sh***y behavior by other people but nobody seems to mind. I'm thoroughly convinced that I'm in the right but if I'm the minority or even the only one I must be wrong? Are my moral standards too high or skewed or what? Right now I just hate myself and everybody else. f**k I wish it would all end.

0. Sorry, but I am starting over on a new account because I felt very uncomfortable with my previous one. It only had around 20 messages anyway, mainly because I felt uncomfortable using it.

8

It has been a better-than-average day.

-6
Life seems kind of not worth it right now.