scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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+4. Very sleepy, but motivated.

Thanks.

-5 now, so a bit better.

-5. I'm tired of being forced to stay home all the time and of my parents refusing to get along for 5 minutes.

+2 (finally got my hair cut after 6 months, plus I am sleeping well again)

I haven't had my hair cut or coloured since 2019

I feel so disoriented I don't know what number to pick. Somewhere in the Grey zone.

I phoned the optometrist three times. No answer.

Those optometrists should operate better. A pandemic is no excuse.

-10 I couldn’t get out of bed most of the day. I tried reading to get my mind off the fact I am practically broke and lonely but I kept wanting to go back to sleep. I had nightmares even when I drifted off for a few seconds. I really wish I wasn’t depressed. It’s ruined my life and soon I will probably be alone for good.

-10 I should’ve just offed myself before chemo ruined my body, or just let the cancer do its thing. I’d already spent the past fifteen years or so only being indifferent toward life at the best of times, didn’t expect the rest of my life to be any different, but letting them do chemo was the path of least resistance, so that’s what I did. Which I’ve only been regretting ever since (and at the time, too).

LMAO - I finally spoke to the optometrist. The next available appointment for an eye exam is 13th of September.

There's no insurance or protection plan on my lost glasses.

They don't make that frame anymore either, so I can't just reorder the same pair.

*rolls on floor with sharp implements*

Oh my, that sounds painfully long to me! Even my psychiatric appointments aren’t that long despite living under the American mental health care system. I am just glad my therapist is independent so I don’t have to wait terribly long to see her (Every other week).

How you will last with the headaches?

For myself, I watched this and it shows how mental health is like for people in my state. Austin is trying the hardest to fix things.

^

My trauma psychologist is about once a month but I could see her more often if needed. My neuropsychiatrist is every two months right now but it will stretch a little longer over time. OT is basically whenever I want. Optometry is different because I have to go in person, whereas my therapists are done by Zoom during Covid. Optometry can only see a few people per day because they have to disinfect the exam apparatus and all the glasses that people touch. They were also shut down for several months so now there's a backlog.

I'll either get used to migraines, or spend the next five months with my eyes shut.

-1. tired and stiff and sore-ish. right hip needs serious help.

I used to see my therapist every week until the state decided I wasn’t worth being covered for. She tried to rally in my favor but couldn’t change their minds. She also thought I would benefit from seeing someone else but the appointments were just too far apart from each other just like my psychiatric appointments were. Two months can feel like two years for me. I got back with my therapist and I have to pay out of my pocket for her which I don’t mind. The reason why she can only see me every other week is because she needs a week for herself and I don’t blame her because she’s a human, too. I see her in person because I don’t like being in my house all day and she lives out in the country where he runs a horse stable so I get fresh air and see animals.

That sucks. I guess even the Canadian health system is far from perfect.

the canadian system spares its citizens of the typical #1 american worry, a lifetime of financial ruin.

That's sounds awful.

How often does this happen?

I am not really allowed to go anywhere by myself and I don't go places with other people that often. My parents have arguments usually everyday or every other day.

It sucks, but I can't really do anything besides get used to the latter as long as I live here. lmao