Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dearest LonelyJar,

You are a lazy and incompetent ret*d. You've been out of college since May 2013, and what do you have to show for it? Practically nothing! You didn't bother trying to apply for a job until December of that year, and even then, your mommy had to rescue you. Maybe you would have made progress sooner if you weren't wasting time by distracting yourself with your internet crap or PHYSICALLY ASSAULTING YOURSELF. What's that? You're suffering from a sense of inadequacy and a near-crippling fear of failure? BS. If you're smart enough to make it through college, you're automatically capable of starting a career.

But let's pretend that for some reason, you "weren't ready" to make it out in the real world, in spite of your college diploma. Why didn't you seek help while you were there? I can understand that your parents didn't want to spend extra money on trying to help a lost cause by letting you see the campus therapist, but what was stopping you from getting in touch with a counselor? Oh, you DID speak to a counselor. Yeah, a lot of good that did you. But seriously, why didn't you speak to him more often? Because you were too disorganized? Psh, why didn't you get help with time management? Please don't tell me it's because that's how messed up you are, because that's just another bullcrap excuse. Maybe you wouldn't have been in this mess if you just listened to your old therapist about how to cope with transitioning to a college student lifestyle. Was it really that hard to share a seat on the bus ride to campus? Why did you think random strangers would intentionally steal and ruin your school supplies just to spite you? You had a lot experience suffering from total s**theads, but nobody ever did anything like that to you. Do you just make things up as you go along?!

You could have tried speaking to someone on campus about your "issues" AFTER you graduated, but you claim you "didn't know" that was even an option! And once you actually started taking advantage of your connection to your former college, you learned that you came for help too late unless you wanted to pay for it, not counting what you have to pay to get an all-day bus pass to travel to campus. What the hell, man?!

And NOW look at you!! Not one month after starting your first career - not counting your stints as a file clerk at your dad's office - and you got fired from being an incompetent tutor!! Big freaking surprise. Gee, maybe you could do some research on how to turn sane instead of escaping from your problems, or maybe you could try proving to your parents that you're too much of a hot mess to work, even as a private one-on-one math tutor or an online math tutor (even though you're really a lazy crybaby). Yeah, convince them to sell some junk around your house to raise enough money for them to send you to ANOTHER therapist whose useful advice you'll just ignore and forget! BRILLIANT!!

Why didn't you make any friends when you were younger?! Why didn't you ever learn how to become more independent and proactive?! WHY DIDN'T YOU COMMIT SUICIDE OUT OF DESPAIR BACK WHEN YOU WERE 13?! *YOU ARE A FAILURE ON SO MANY f*****g LEVELS!!*

In short, I hate your guts, and I hope you die soon; the world would be a much better place without you.

Rot in hell,
LonelyJar

Dear Depression, Self-Hate, Despair, et al,

OK. You win again. You have worn me out.

I have no more energy to spend on fruitless, painful practices like reaching out for "help" that only serves to push me farther under. I am isolated and hopeless.

You win. I quit. If I stop fighting, will you please keep it down and allow me to keep the pieces of a life that remain to me??

Sincerely,
The Victim

Dear everyone that abandoned me,

F*** you. I want you all back, but still f*** you at the same time. sometimes I fantasize I could just drag you all back kicking and screaming by the collar of your shirts.


Dear Zac,

You are an ugly, disgusting, heartless, sociopathic, narcissistic megalomaniac and I genuinely wish I could watch you every time you cry and suffer. You are worthless creature who is nothing but a waste of resources. The world would be a better place if you were never born and I wish I could personally exterminate you and your stupid, pathetic, worthless flesh sack girlfriend.


Dear old best friend who hasn't replied to my texts in moths,

I love and care about you, but you need to grab whatever courage you can muster and answer already, you are draining me. I've put in one last text, and I'm hoping you have the moral strength to get up and answer this one. Please, don't f*** me over.

- To all of you, SeeingEyeButterfly.

Dear you

Why?
Why did you?
Why didn't you?
Why? Why? Why?

I'll never get the answers will I?

Me

Dear you,

Thank you for treating me poorly. That might sound sarcastic, but I've grown from it and so I mean it. You can still rot in hell, though.

With disdain,
Em

Dear Yodel delivery,

You obviously didn't pay attention to the sign on my door. It very clearly says not to leave parcels with neighbours.

Thank you for making it awkward for me.

I HATE YOU YODEL.

Dear you,

You're all his now. You don't need me. Enjoy. I'm nothing! You've made that clear.

Thanks,

Nothing.

Dear old friends,
I miss you, you supported me and helped me through difficult times, I was arrogant then and could not express how much I loved and valued you. I was too infatuated with the guys I dated to devote the time to you, time that you deserved. I grieve for the one's who have died. I hope for the one's who still live.

Dear ex-boyfriend,
I am sorry for what I did to myself in front of you, what you saw me do broke your heart. I have never taken the time to hold you and talk through it, I didn't realise how much my actions affected you until years afterward. Too late, now your gone from my life, if I ever find you I will make it right.

Dear Dad,
I hope you stop ignoring my emails and get over the fact I'm gay. I'm still your son.

Dear self.


Try not to take everything so personally, most things are not your fault, nor did you cause the immanent demise of things. I know sometimes you do get this overwhelming feeling of guilt, over small things. Try not to let it get to you so much.

Dear You,

It's all pointless. Why bother any more?

Whatever,

Fnord

Dear 4777,

Please, keep in mind that you are really awesome. Keep on making improvements, and do not distract yourself too much.



Signed by

someone who cares.

13-5 (X2),



20- 5 2-5 13-9-19-21-14-4-5-18-19-20-15--15-4 9-19 20-8-5 23-15-18-19-20

Dear you,

As it’s cushionary in those brinkets of smeary gliss, the brighty tirth zoon lawned on me. ’Twas unrelievable. Your speyes birded by the lemon-ale made me spurst with draughter.

I thought I saw a grue.

I’ll pepper nor give myself for clumlessly pampering that sway. It screally hucks.

Sever bust those who smay your sponge meads to resh.

Yours mistfully,
me