Rants

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Thanks a lot, you f!cking stupid asswipe of a roommate. Any other Tuesday night, you'd be wanting me to take you to your job so you could collect your paycheck. Last night, you couldn't be bothered. You know damn well you owe me money. I just happen to need it today to put gas in my car to get to a job interview, and I needed to put enough money in the bank to cover a check that ended up bouncing because I had to use my debit card to put air in a flat tire, which I found out to be shredded as soon as I try to put air in the tire. Now, not only am I stuck with using a compact spare on my car, my checking account has now been closed, and I won't be able to get to that job interview because I need gas.

As to my so-called former roommate, go f!ck yourself! You've been promising to pay up what you owe me all weekend. I have yet to see you come around with the cash. I'm getting quite tired of running your errands for you, without getting any quid for my time and trouble. And, by the way, isn't it about time you transfer your truck back into your name, now that you're working? I can't take any more hits on my insurance, or my driving record, especially since your sorry ass was thrown in jail for having an open can of beer in my (read YOUR) truck!

As for the rest of the world, GO F!CK YOURSELVES! I've had it with all the bullsh!t, from the tRump to the reThuglicans to the Dopeycrats to ISIS to nObama to gays, queers and fags marrying each other. Can someone please drop are nuclear bomb on this planet and put us all, as well as me, out of f!cking misery?

I am choosing to hate you, and not me, I have hated myself for being so damn stupid for long enough.
Each and every time I feel the effects of being such an idiot, I will simply blame you. I'm done being the only one that I hold responsible for all of this.

I am on the back up plan, of my back up plan of my back of plan of my back up plan ad infinitum because life never goes as planned =/

bleh

"Boat of Dreams!"

Argue about me about why I go out for no reason? Fine.
Argue about me about how I live my life? No problem because I vow that I won't regret it.
Argue about me about how I'm not learning enough? Because I WILL learn more than enough.
Argue about me about why I have little or no progress around people? It's not like I could care any more or less.

But arguing around me because of money, PLEASE, I'M SICK OF IT. REALLY SICK OF ANYTHING FINANCIAL RELATED ISSUES. I SWEAR I DARE MYSELF THAT IT WILL NEVER BE MY PRIORITY IN THIS VERY LIFE I'M LIVING.
ARGUE ABOUT ME ABOUT ANYTHING BUT THAT!! !

If I cannot dodge it, I'll make it as brief as possible and that's it. No more negotiations. I swear I will never mellow down that "Oh no! I'm too poor because NEEDS!" Stupid needs... Stupid wants... I wish I don't have them so I wouldn't worry to spend a single goddamned cent and go on with my life with whatever I got doing whatever I want with it.

Really! I'm sorry I'm not just as ambitious as you people are! I would rather go on a full time stressing job with no pay as long as I get various experiences from it!! !

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I must say, I was becoming sick and tired of being called an obsessive stalker in my threads. It's a shame I lost my cherished support people, yet nobody cares. Oh well.

You lot are vicious, one snipped at me and the rest of you jumped at the chance to have a go. Like a pack of hyenas.

I hope that decision gratified all of you, there won't be a second chance, your cards are marked.

How the f*** do you dare tell me I know nothing about mental health? That is what has been my life for 30 years! And you have the gall to say I know nothing, because I don't agree with you when all you want to do is fix the "cough" and not look at why someone is "coughing" in the first place?
Go **** yourselves, with a hot red rusted poker. And you wonder why no one likes you. Maybe because you don't actually look at what people are saying and assume they're saying something else. Or are you really that stupid? That's an insult to other stupid people.
I'm ashamed that you managed to get to me so much, but I am so f****** sick of people like you, thinking you know everything, and claiming I'm ignorant and know nothing about mental health when EVERY SINGLE NIGHT I dream about people DYING. I have died in my dreams many times, I can still feel the pain, the shock. It stays with me. I look at people in real life and see how they could die. I see people dying or getting injured every single day, multiple times a day, because my mind tortures me with it. I have tried to commit suicide multiple times, and have been plagued with depression for most of my life, and anxiety my entire life. And you want to tell me about mental health?
Go f*** yourselves.

.. Thank you for acknowledging the fact that I'm not an NT...


But please, whenever I hear another lecture of "You should change for them, not them changing for you" crap, PLEASE, I'm well TOO AWARE of that fact so much, that I hate it. You don't have to tell or remind me that I have to learn about your world because everyone expects it.

We're both lucky that I'm willing to do so, even if it hurts. Otherwise it'll be either me as an anxiety-ridden wreck or a frustrated one might blow a lid on you. I don't like going to such state nor end up hurting anyone.

And I don't want to hear any more lectures how guile NTs are. Because whenever that's bought up, I'm tempted to do the same against them. After all, I'm just as capable and most of them foolishly don't know that. Also I just hate the idea of it, you don't need to threaten me of divine retribution.

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