Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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To mr cheese,

f**k you and f**k your company you prick.

From me.

Dear self,

Why do you push your luck with things? You're running out of preventative measures, and yet you know, deep down and from years of experience, that you will ignore every logical thought, or opportunity to stop, until the first real consequence actually happens.
Until then, it isn't real to you.
But it is real to you.
It is.
All of this time, up until that point, is yours for the taking. That time now seems shorter than ever; duh, that's how time and long term damage f*****g works.

So stop. The threat on the horizon grows less vague with every advancing day you do not. Stop now, and halt it.
Do not come back to me when it hits and plead regret.
Regret will not help you then.
But you can help you now.

In summary: get your s**t together, Rachel.

i tried to keep you alive.

...I guess you have a short fuse.
I guess you'll always have a short fuse.

I guess that's just a fact.

Dear Self,

You have accomplished a lot this year. Be careful and continue to build on your successes in 2017. Stay positive and attentive in the future-especially when you're driving. There are some crazy people on the road here!

To The Crazy Drivers in My Hometown:

What kind of crazy people do I have here? Watch where you're going and stop this crazy nutjob driving! I need a car cam like they have in Russia, because the driving has become just as nuts! I love driving and the independence it gives me, and I want to stay alive to enjoy it. I don't look forward to being in the hospital, broken into a million little pieces.

I'm a stronger person than I was. I can do this now.

Please don't give up.

To the so called "Tennis Channel"

Please stop broadcasting old tennis matches that my favorite players lost during the 2016 season. Broadcast something new, like the Australian Open Wildcard playoffs. Yes, this IS a thinly disguised effort to get you to show me Denis Istomin! So what?

And please, stop showing me Novak Djokovic's pathetic racquet smashing meltdowns. I'm not a fan of the guy, but it's painful to watch this stuff.

Dear Dad,

Have a cookie and while your at it, stop pissing me the hell off please,

CHILL. THE. F. OUT

Thanks, love you

You're always cold despite the weather. You need sun. You're so pale.

You won't smile. (You'd best avert your eyes and not give her a second look)

Things you want: not a companion but some pages in a journal.

(You'd think she's had enough, it's not enough)

You always want more. [You always want more]

I hate you and your F-ing religion, my only regret is that I don't remember pissing you off. I can do again if you would like and I can be more clear and to the point if I failed the first time. I hate you, I might just take the opportunity in court to find new words that better express my true feelings as obviously something has gone wrong with our communication but don't worry, I have thought of some new ones you self righteous fat thighed promiscuous cow.

There, I said it and I don't care

I hope the 2017 tennis season begins soon! I'm tired of turning of the television and seeing endless reruns. They broadcast the 2016 French Open final between Djokovic and Murray about three times today already! Enough!

To Rafael Nadal,

Keep up the good work! You won your first tournament of 2017! Good luck this year and come back strong!

i can hardly bear to stay on this site.

but where shall i go?

Dear Smart Phone,

Why are you being stupid?

From,
Your owner and master