Why does no one want me to have a relationship?

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Well actually, number 2 doesn't matter if all people in the mix have agreed on an open relationship.

Strong agree on 1 and 3, but 2 is actually a bit murky.

Take the case of a couple that is separated but not yet divorced. Should neither individual date others to figure out whether divorce or reconciliation is the right decision?

Or say someone is trapped in a terrible marriage and needs the security of another romantic relationship to get out.

I like most humans am in favor of fidelity in relationships and marriage, but given that marriage is a legal status, I would not say it is a 100% prohibition.

4) It's not incestuous
5) Both partners are still alive
6) Your gf isn't a goat

Oh you don't know the internet... lol.

It was technically more than one since I envisioned us doing a lot of different things together but they certainly all revolved around her. I do realize now it was ridiculous to think anything would happen between us. We only knew each other through AIM (I used to talk to people on it for many years. I now wonder why I did.) and she was constantly posting about how she had a new boyfriend every few months. She actually lived two hours away from me but my parents had no time in their schedules to drive me to meet her nor would they have thought it to be a good idea. She also already had a regular social life so meeting me in person was not a priority at all for her. I was angry at her after she decided to cut contact with me but I no longer feel anything towards her since I realize how silly the whole situation was.

I suppose my mind is still stuck thinking a girlfriend will make me feel better in every way.

I've read that there are stages of development so I guess I should specify that my teen and adolescent developmental years were the ones I missed out on learning dating skills.

My therapist told me today I need to accept that a relationship isn't going to happen right now if I am not doing anything towards getting a relationship. She did understand when I told her how I've been feeling burned out on socialization, especially after a recent incident of someone getting mad at me and complaining about me to someone during a social event. My therapist also thinks I may need to try the online dating route even though my experiences with dating sites and apps have been severely frustrating.

What is she? Some kind of sadist? Online dating will utterly destroy whatever self esteem you have left. The competition is ruthless. Unless you're super attractive or incredibly charismatic you will get absolutely nowhere. Don't waste your time or money.

That's what many here have been saying to you for quite some time, isn't it?
Those kinds of things happen all the time, more to us who are socially unskilled. If someone getting a little mad at you always makes you anxious, are you sure your mental health could even handle a relationship? What if you made your girlfriend angry? Wouldn't that cause an even bigger burn out since it's someone you care about? If you get a burn out because of something like that, are you able to talk things out like a mature adult? If the answer is no, I think you should put the idea of getting a girlfriend aside for now. Communication is the key you see, but if you can't do that...
But your experiences with trying to get a girlfriend have always been frustrating in real life too, haven't they? If so, then what's the harm in trying online dating, especially if you spend a lot of time on computer anyway. You don't need to use paid sites either; I'm sure there are some free ones. Besides, if you give up as soon as something feels frustrating, your chances of ever getting, not to mention keeping, a girlfriend are going to be low. In a relationship, there are going to be some frustrating moments. Will you give up on a relationship too once it becomes frustrating? You can't just give up rigth away when things don't go your way; that won't bring you any results, especially not the kind you'd like.

I feel like a lot of us are being unnecessarily cruel towards the singles. Especially the guys.

I know what it is like to be single for extended periods of time. No one on my radar. Me on no ones radar. I try to put them in their shoes because many times I've been there. It's a miserable existence probably worse than death. I remember my last breakup. A few weeks after I see couples around me everywhere at my work and I started breaking down. Dark thoughts ran constantly in my mind. And the support i had consisted of mostly women, who were getting beckonings from dozens of guys a day, and support from their family, but they learned not to say they were lonely around me thankfully because they knew I was really lonely, as in ZERO connections, family included.

But their advice was still paltry and terrible. I have to basically completely change myself to find someone.

You are told you, because of who you are, are unworthy of being loved by someone because you dont have the social skills or you're too desperate. I mean no s**t they're desperate. Many of them probably only have their family to fall back on. In my case I didn't even have that. And friends? With friends like I've had who needs enemies? Other aspies I notice have the same problem where people seem to be dispositioned to dislike us just for being who we are to begin with so they need that kind of love even more so than NTs.

What they need is support and help and love. And just telling them stuff I feel might work isnt going to make things better.

Finding Ashley on CMB was the best thing that ever happened to me. If it werent for her I'd be even more of a broken mess than I am now, if i would still be existing at all. Why? Not because of dependency on her, but the need, that every human in the world has btw, of having real, caring, reciprocated, non judgmental love.

Feeling like this needed to be said before this devolved into a bunch of advice that just isnt gonna work generally.

Also if you do online date CMB was my go to.

P.S. This doesnt mean just go and find the first girl that likes you and kowtow to her will. That's probably just as bad. My gf and I officially call each other "best friends with benefits" which means that we are friends first and in a relationship second. And doing this it doesnt just strengthen the love, it also teaches you what a real friendship is because you have more vested into it. I hated the word friend before this because to me it meant "person I wont be talking to in a few weeks unless they need money". But with her, it actually means a real lifeline, and emergency number for hospital visits, help when we need it.

So dont find a girlfriend or a friend. Find one ready to be both.

And Saber Claw is right. Most dating sites require a credit card to join and many mislead people into thinking they will find someone to love when it fact it is just the opposite.

So a person should do more than just sit around being lonely, and a person should get out and actually mingle with people ... in person.

Who'd a'thunk that?

Your therapist is right, and the thing you need to do is get your life together and become more appealing to women.
No, that's not going to help. If anything it'll make you feel worse when you have no success.

Finding people to be around in person is extremely hard if you don't have a pre-existing social network. Most people organize activities with their friends instead of using activity groups. Even if you manage to find people to be around, they almost always have far more important people in their life to spend time with, on top of work taking up most of their time, so you'll be lucky to see them once a month and never be able to bond together.

I don't even know where to begin finding people in real life. Especially ones of my generation. I have nothing to work with.

I know how that feels too you know. And you know, at least you had people who you could talk with about this stuff. I haven't had someone like that since 9th grade, unless you count a few people in the internet that I've never met face to face. How do you know those women got a lot of attention? Did you witness it or did they talk about it openly? To me it seems that some men often assume that women get attention easily, but that's not always the case. There are plenty of us who get zero attention from men. Besides, are you sure it was positive attention and not some creeps who didn't take no for an answer? Also, what makes you think they couldn't really be lonely? Someone else could've, in that situation, told you that you shouldn't call yourself lonely around them since you at least had these female friends. Have you ever thought of that? Plus, it's not nice to not listen to your friends' problems just because you think your problems are worse. In a friendship you can't just take, you have to be ready to give as well. You have to be ready to listen to other people's problems when they need it if they listen to yours instead of sulking about how they shouldn't talk about it since "your problems are bigger." I mean yes, in some situations it's called for, like if you had a cancer and your friend was complaining about her cold, but most of the time it isn't.

But they still gave you advice, didn't they? They tried to help. Did you ever consider being grateful at them for the fact that they tried, even if the results weren't what you wanted? I honestly wish I had someone I could talk to about relationship related stuff face to face, but I don't... I tried talking with my younger sister (already an adult of course) at one point, but she doesn't want to talk about these things with me, probably because I'm the "uncool one" of her older sisters... or maybe she doesn't talk with the other two either, I don't know.

Who said he's unworthy of being loved because of how he is? Please point out on which page, who and what message. I don't know about others, but what I've been saying is that if he does his best to change his chances should be better, not that he doesn't deserve love if he doesn't change. Just that his chances of getting it are slimmer if he doesn't and that handling a relationship would be easier when/if he gets one if he got other parts of his life under control first.

But telling him things that I feel might make things better is me helping and supporting him. I'm not one to whisper words of comfort to support someone, I'm a practical person. Besides, if Markins wants someone to leave him alone, he usually says it. The fact that he hasn't asked me to stop replying his messages means that, at the very least, he doesn't think I'm causing any harm. That's why I'll only shut up after a) he tells me to or b) when I start feeling like there's no longer anything I could do for him.

Face to face? What are you talking about? All of those "friends" were online. I haven't had a face to face real friend that wasn't a significant other since maybe college. They would screenshot messages.

By advice it would be something like get plastic surgery or learn game or quit whining other stuff like that. The latter of which bugs me. Whenever they whine about being "lonely" everyone tells them they'll be loved for who they are. No one had said that for me. For me it was literally change everything I am. Whatever I did before, do the opposite.

So no my life has been the internet until like... January of this year?

P.s. also to answer your other question, your and serpentari's posts on page 1 were extremely hostile. Ask yourself would you tell a woman the same thing? Even if that person posted the same thread over and over again? If you can deeply honestly say the answer is yes you would tell her to get a life, cool. I'll stop here and apologize. If not, you should think about how the difference in how people treat genders when lonely lead to why guys act more erratic when lonely like this.

But that's the thing. I've been on FB. I see the difference in treatment. Then people turn around and wonder why lonelier guys either go crazy when lonely or go to great lengths like redpill or MRA crap. Wish it were actually discussed a little more instead of swept under the rug SO we have less issues like this.

I apologize for the assumption then, I thought they were people you knew face to face since you didn't mention them being online (in this forum people usually do.) But I do have to wonder why'd you even call them friends if you consider them so rude.

I didn't consider it hostile and still don't. My intention was just to be practical and tell that if he just wanted comforting then cool, but I'm not all that good at that so I would most likely not do it. Advice though is something I'd be willing to give. But if it sounded hostile to Markins too then sorry about that to him, that wasn't the intention.

Yes, I would answer another woman (and any other guy who's not Markins) the same way if they did this as often as he did and if I'd read as many of their posts in those topics as his. It's not a matter of gender for me. Also I don't recall telling him to "get a life."

I've seen the opposite in this forum, you know. I don't use L&D anymore, but when I did it was full of men belittlening my problems since I'm a woman. The message was basically "don't whine; you'd get a man if you weren't so picky."
Do you think that's okay?! And from what I've understood, I'm not the only woman here who feels this way.